Dlisted: 09/18/2005 - 09/25/2005

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Guess the Celebrity?



UPDATE - Click here to see the real celb!

Congrats to Paula for being the first to get it right!

Kanye West on Race, yet again!



"I hate music where white people are trying to sound black. The white music I like is white.

"I like Franz Ferdinand. That's the shit."

This bitch needs to learn how to think before you speak.

[Female First]


Mimi & Jack: Hot Tub Lovin'



Parasite Hilton cannot park a car!





Mindy McCready is a stupid bitch!

Mindy McCready has mental problems, obviously. And I feel sorry for her, but the bitch is also preggers! Mindy is currently being hospitalized for overdosing on antidepressants early yesterday after a fight with her baby daddy!

According to a police report, McCready and William McKnight were arguing on the phone about whether his parents would help pay for the pregnancy. He cursed at McCready and she became angry and took about 30 antidepressant pills, the report says.


After McKnight called her back and she didn't answer, he called police and an ambulance.

Mindy is a fucking mess! She recently was arrested for drunken driving, a suicide attempt and she was arrested for trying to help a con man! Mindy's baby daddy was also arrested for trying to kill her!

Mindy it's too fucking late to have an abortion so think of your kid and lay off the crack bitch! At least white trash Brit Brit Spears stuck to Jamba-Juice and Red Bull.

Mindy had a country hit back in 1996.

[Yahoo News]

Kate Moss gets an offer from Aliens!

The Church of Scientology can help Kate Moss or so they say. Reps for the cult religion say they can help her get off drugs. Yeah if she gives them half of her salary!

''Scientology has become quite proactive in reaching out to people,'' says a source. ``Kate is a woman who needs help and Scientology feels that they can steer her in the right direction.''
They specifically want her to seek treatment from a program called Narconon which has strong links to Scientology.

Kate is said to be heading for Ibiza soon to get away from all this noise. Her contract with Rimmel is still under investigation, however Dior seems to be standing by her. They haven't issued a statement, but they haven't dropped her ass either!

[The Miami Herald]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!



Latrina told the other girls she could handle the four hits of e. Enthralled by the "Dame mas gasolina" beats, no one noticed Big 'L' desperately searching for the secret entrance to Narnia. - Anonymous 5:00pm

Hot Slut of the Day!



Judith Baldwin

aka Ginger from Rescue from Gilligan's Island

Birthday Sluts



Kevin Sorbo (47)
Stella Banderas (9)
Casey Johnson (26)
Nia Vardalos (43)
Pedro Almodovar (56)

Friday, September 23, 2005

Um..should he really be doing that right next to her?

Is this Jennifer Aniston's new man?



Reports are that Jennifer Aniston is dating actor Geoff Stults whom she met on the set of her new movie The Break-Up starring Vince Vaughn.

A onset source said: "During the final weeks of filming in Chicago, she (Aniston) flirted outrageously with Geoff."

"Everyone couldn't help noticing the sexual undercurrent between them... At a buff six foot three (inches), Geoff looks like a supersized version of Brad."


Nothing to hate on here, girl needs some!

[Teen Hollywood]

Guess the Celebrity?



UPDATE - Click here to see the owner of this 'bow!

Congrats to all that got it right!

Meryl Streep filming Devil Wears Prada



She actually looks hot!

[Pic: A Socialite's Life]

I love me some Keanu!

I don't care what you sluts say! I just want to hop on the back of that bike and ride like our lives depended on it! And I'd totally beat down that Diane Keaton in a wrestling match. Ok maybe not, but I'd try.

What is happening to HoHan?!?

The Eyebrows - I've seen better ones on trannies.
The Extensions - She makes Paris' fake hair look real expensive.

Hey Y'all! I just had a baby now let's lay out! Get my USWeekly!




[Click on images for larger]

Paris Hilton: Drug Dealer?

Police will question lotto-playing Paris Hilton over claims that she offered teenagers drugs and alcohol. The incident reportedly happened while Paris and Nicole Richie were filming The Simple Life: Interns in Baltimore. Teenagers are reporting that Paris offered them marijuana and bourbon to loosen them up for a segment.

One of the teens involved has told police, "She loaded myself and two other underage kids on shots of Jack Daniels to loosen us up for the show."

If charged and found guilty Paris could face jail time and a hefty fine.

Dayum Jesus, let this come true. Paris Hilton is jail would be hotter than a life-sized twinkie!

[The Bosh]

JLove really wants attention!

I saw in an interview how Jennifer Love Hewitt read some article about Matt Damon wanting or needing a bed so she sent him one. You know she called 1-800-Sleepys. This bitch is crazy.

"There was this article and it was about Matt Damon, and he was saying that he works so much that he doesn't feel like he has a bed of his own anywhere. And it really struck me as this sort of sad thing. . "I was like, 'He's famous and he's so cute and he's Matt Damon and he should feel like he has a bed.' It just made me sad. So I sent him a bed. I sent him an AeroBed and a comforter and sheets. I wrote in there that I was a huge fan and that I wanted him to travel with it and feel like he had a bed wherever he went. .

"I never heard back from him. I have (seen him since) and he's kind of looked at me a little weird."


Duh bitch! What do you expect? If a complete stranger sent me a bed, I'd either think they were a) hitting on me or b) totally psycho! And if it came from JLove, I'd think more b than a! However, I would like an aerobed, so JLove send me that shit and I promise to look at you funny in public!

[Female First]

Dakota Fanning: Girl Scout first, World Leader next!

45yo, Dakota Fanning was sworn into the Girl Scouts of America San Fernando Valley chapter yesterday. Now, I'm officially scared. This is only a stepping-stone. She's going to be able to work a weapon soon and then we're all fucked. Trust me, aliens, sharks and Dubya have nothing on this one!











[JJB]

Kate Moss speaks!



She issued this statement:

"The only thing I'm sorry for is getting caught!"

Ok, she really said this:

"I want to apologize to all of the people I have let down because of my behavior which has reflected badly on my family, friends, co-workers, business associates and others.

"I am trying to be positive, and the support and love I have received are invaluable."

"I also accept that there are various personal issues that I need to address and have started taking the difficult, yet necessary, steps to resolve them."

All this comes in the wake of Kate losing her Chanel, H&M and Burberry contracts. Rimmel is also expected to drop her in the next few days. A police investigation has been launched and some are saying her baby daddy will file for full custody of their daughter.

Kate, this is so easy to solve. Just tell them you were snorting aspirin like Madonna did in Body of Evidence. Just pay some chinese doctor to tell the cops you have migraines and need this special aspirin to cure it. Duh! Use what you know, dumb bitch!

[Manchester Evening News]

Who will be James Bond?



Inside sources claim that Daniel Craig (right) and Henry Cavill (left) are the last two in the running to become the next James Bond. Both men have had several screentests as well as being fit into the famous James Bond tuxedo.

Daniel Craig is best known for Layer Cake with Sienna Miller and Sylvia with Gwyneth Paltrow. Henry Cavill is a relative newcomer and would be a much younger Bond at 22 years of age.

A source said: "The hunt to find the next James Bond is down to the final hurdle. But there has been a lot of in-fighting by those who will make the decision on who should get the prized role".

Another source claims that Nip/Tuck star Julian McMahon is also still in the running, but many think the role will most likely go to Daniel Craig.

What happened to Clive Owen? He would be a dreamy Bond!

[Teen Today]

J.Lo totally borrowed this from Lucille Ball!

Baby4Sale

Brit Brit Spears and her hubby Kevin Federline have signed a $1.5 Million deal with OK! Magazine for exclusive pictures an an interview. The new family will pose for pictures and speak about their new addition. Reportedly they have been shopping for a deal before Brit Brit even gave birth. Earlier reports suggested they have been asking for at least $6 Million. Looks like OK! got those bitches cheap!

They have also sold a home-video of Sean Preston's birth for an upcoming Chaotic special worth about $3 Million.

And they will be paid another $15 Million to film the first few week's of Sean's life.

Fuck, I wonder what the bidding is at for the ACTUAL baby?

[Female First]

I'm on HoHan's side...

I don't watch Laguna Beach, but I have it on good-authority that Kristin Cavallari is the star of the show. Well, Kristen had said that HoHan is a major, jealous bitch!

Kristin says: "One night when [Lohan and fellow 'Laguna Beach' star Talan] were dating, I slept in Talan's bed, I mean, I was fully clothed, wearing a long T-shirt — nothing went down,"

"Then at, like, 6 a.m. Lindsay comes in and freaks out! She starts crying, going 'Aaargh!' and slams a glass on the table. I was like, 'Are you kidding me right now?' Talan had to tell her to leave."

That bitch Kristin got off easy. If that was my man, bitch would've hadpiecess of glass in her eye! Kristin's the crazy one!

[Page Six]

Page Six Blind Items..You Guess...I Guess..

WHICH hyperactive mini-socialite has developed a big, big crush on a popular, peripatetic photographer? She has convinced herself she can "change him"

I haven't got a clue...Miss Piggy?

WHICH hot-tempered leading man is being protected by New York's Finest? The cops kept secret the Asian call girl in his hotel room

Colin Farrell

WHICH arrogant actor angered a powerful movie studio chief who had arranged for the star to meet his adoring son? When the star learned where the boy went to school, he denounced the place as "sub par."

Nicolas Cage

[Page Six]

The Dlisted Report

Joss Whedon is currently working on Wonder Woman but he has signed on to direct the fantasy-thriller Goner. It's the story of a young woman's journey that involves a great deal of horror and some heroics. It's certainly darker than 'Serenity,' and there are a lot of left turns along the way. It is something I had in mind for a while, and it just poured out of me when I finished my film. No word yet on when filming will take place. [Variety]

Bow Wow and Lucas Black will star in Fast and Furious 3: Tokyo for director Justin Lin. The film is set in the sexy, underground world of Japanese drift racing where the newest and fastest customized rides go head-to-head on some of the most perilous courses ever seen. Filming starts next month in Europe and Tokyo. [Zap2It]

Francis Ford Coppola has taken an 8-year hiatus and will direct a self-financed movie in Bucharest. He will direct Young Without Youth. The story centers on a professor whose life changes after a cataclysmic incident during the dark years before WWII. Becoming a fugitive, he is pursued through far-flung locations including Romania, Switzerland, Malta and India. Filming begins next month. [Variety]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!!



Finally the mystery of Jesse Metcalf's sexuality is solved. But no one expected Keebler, the most masculine of all elves to be gay! - Mandy

Hot Slut of the Day!



Cristina Monet

[For Monsteratomic]

Birthday Sluts



Julio Iglesias (62)
Kip Pardue (29)
LisaRaye (39)
Jason Alexander (46)
Rosalind Chao (48)
George C. Wolfe (51)

Brian from Survivor: Is he a homo?

If it looks like a homo, talks like a homo, walks like a homo.....is it a homo? Do any of you bitches know? Michael K, have you slept with his ass?

Image hosted by TinyPic.com

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Say Something Nice

Charlotte Church: Um..that milk looks delicious and I'm not talking about the one in her hand!

Carnie Wilson or HoHan?!

I think my abuelita used that top to cover her sewing machine with back in the day!

Jake is sooo Toothy Tile!

Exhibit A:



[Thanks to Olivia for pic]

Don't look too closely!

This seriously made me yack! And now I have to sweep up my own fucking vomit! I hate that! Damn you Paris!



[Pic: Truth, Beauty Love and Elisa]

Guess the Celebrity?



UPDATE - Click here to see the owner of these knees!

Congrats to all who got it right!

America's Next Top Cry Baby



Last night was the season premiere of Tyra Banks' America's Next Top Model. I've never seen so many bitches cry in my life! Their lives are so fucking hard, they have it so rough. Anyway, FourFour has an amazingly funny recap. Check it out!

[Four Four] via [City Rag]

Mommy, I want twin ponies for Christmas!



They are totally about to make-out...

JLove sees dead people!

Jennifer Love Hewitt claims that she was visited by a ghost while taking a shower. Jennifer met with an exorcist to research her role in her new show The Ghost Whisperer in which she plays a woman who can see the dead. After her meeting, Jennifer began to notice strange things going at home. Her lights would flicker and she would hear mysterious footsteps.

But she was really spooked when she noticed a male looking in on her in the shower.

"The ghost had a crush on me and liked to see me showering."

Bitch just because he was looking at you in the shower, doesn't mean he had a crush on you? Self-centered bitch! He was trying to kill your ass! Next time run and run fast and try to head for your glass sliding door!

[Female First]

Fergie started a trend!

Jenny Mcarthy wet her pants on Howard Stern this morning! Dirty bitch!





[Double thanks to David! You're hot!]

Charlize Theron kisses ass, literally!



Charlize Theron looked stunning at the Premiere Women in Hollywood Awards and so it was only a matter of time before she got lucky. And she did! With Shirley MacLaine's ass! During a tribute to Miss Shirley, Charlize stepped from the stage and literally kissed Shirley's ass. I think she threw in a lil' tongue in there. Charlize is blaming it on her new addiction!
"It was a combination of my painkillers and the fact that everybody was paying tribute to this incredible woman, this incredible actress, so I had to go to the physical aspect of kissing her ass,"

Don't worry, Charlize isn't pulling a Valley of the Dolls, she's on killers because she suffered a neck injury during Aeon Flux. Or so she tells us.

"She loved it," Charlize added. "She said it was the best she's had all year."

Shirley did love it! She responded with: "I should get drunk with her,"

Ewww, looks like Charlize is going prune diving!

[Ananova]

STD City

The 6 Laws for Law



Sienna Miller has given Jude Law 6 laws he must abide by if they are going to get back together. Only 6? This bitch is easy!

1) Never to be unfaithful again
2) To stay away from ex-wife Sadie and her friends
3) To romance her again before considering marriage
4) To stop losing his temper
5) To let her make her own career choices
6) To let her see her friends when she wants

She got these from Sesame Street, right?

P.S. - That's a hot dress that bitch is rockin'!

[Ananova]



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