Dlisted: 09/04/2005 - 09/11/2005

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Say Something Nice

Sarah Jessica Parker: Um...loved her in Girls Just Want to Have Fun!

Big Brother's Janelle!

Big Brother's Janelle won America's Choice giving her a walk-on role on Two and a Half Men. The other bitches in the house were so pissed off at her ass! Because Janelle wins everything!



From the bottom of my KFC belly...



Cityrag reports that our favorite white-trash-mother-to-be Brit Brit Spears has fucking gained 51lbs! Damn, that's an Olsen! During her last stages of being preggers, Brit Brit reportedly has become addicted to fried chicken and milkshakes. Brit Brit loves her some Koo Koo Roo in Los Angeles and especially likes their fried chicken. She also enjoys them frappuccinos from Starbucks.

The average weight gain due to pregnancy is 28 to 40lbs. I knew that slut was fat, but dayum! Eat some salad or something, shit!

[Cityrag]

A Drunk Ass Jessica Simpson!

A drunk Jessica seems so much more fun than a fake Jessica! Damn, that tongue turns me on a little.



I have no idea who that dude is. I wonder if he experienced first-hand some of her tongue talents?



[Oh No They Didn't]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!



In the classic tradition of Spain's
"Running of The Bulls"

We now have Poland's
"Running of The Bowels"

Polish officials are hoping this new sport will catch on with tourists - Pandemonium

Hot Slut of the Day!



Jane Wyman

[For Lahoma00]

Birthday Sluts

Ryan Phillipe (31)
Guy Ritchie (37)
Colin Firth (45)
Kate Burton (48)
Amy Irving (52)
Joe Perry (55)

Friday, September 09, 2005

Say Something Nice Friday...

Reese Witherspoon: Um..she has a hot husband!

Little Star



Lola seriously looks like her mother more and more each day. Well before the whole botox thing. And Madonna's ex, Carlos Leon is still hot! I heart Lola!

Guess the Celebrity?



UPDATE - Click here to see the owner of this claw!

Congrats to all (most) of you who got it right!

First Anna Wintour...

Then Alicia Silverstone! What is the world coming to?!? With Jordan's wedding tomorrow, I hope that bitch and her fat tits fall down the aisle!




[Lime-Light]

Is Gwynnie going gray?!



Her roots look like dishwater!

[Lime-Light]

Frances Bean speaks!

Frances Bean spoke out to Teen Vogue, but not about her mother being a crackhead. She instead spoke about her mother's fashion sense.

13yo Frances said: "I prefer it when she's a classy starlet. I don't really like her hard-metal stuff, or when she doesn't brush her hair,"

"I'm a different person. She tells me to live free and be free, but listen to other people's advice, but I don't always follow it."

Poor Frances!

[Sky News]

[Thanks Frans]


Madge's Motorola Commercial!

Below are some stills from Madonna's upcoming commercial for Motorola. The bitch got paid $8 Million to do this shit! I like the first picture..but in the second one she kind of looks like she's trapped underwater and gasping for air! Damn, the film painters on this one were working overtime!





[Drowned World]

Is JLo going through "the change?"

Below is a picture of Jennifer Lopez with a corpse in NYC, yesterday. Ok it was probably high 70s or low 80s and this bitch dresses like its cold and shit! The other day she photographed in a wool turtleneck in September! Maybe I'm being crazy, but does she suffer from some always cold disease? Or maybe it's that cold heart of hers!

P.S. - Bear with me, it's a slow news day for me!

Where in the world has Ricki Lake been?

At least she has a new man... I miss that trash show of hers! Go Ricki! Go Ricki! Go Go, Go Ricki!

Just remove your arms, we've seen your tits already!



I love me some Versace, y'all!

You know Brit Brit Spears says Versace the way Nomi Malone said it in Showgirls. Donatella Versace has promised a wardrobe fit for a white trash princess or prince! Donatella apparently called Brit Brit and offered to design a whole collection for her baby at no cost to the singer!

Brit Brit of course accepted the offer. Expect this poor kid to be seen wearing leather diapers, spandex onesies and rhinestone nipple rings. Oh and lots and lots of Swarvoski crystals! Actually, that baby is probably just going to be one Swarvorski crystal!

[rediff]

Kimberly Stewart is a Grade A Bitch!

Here's a joke she told Stuff Magazine for their October issue...

"What has three legs and lives on a farm?"

"Paul McCartney and his wife."

Someone really need to give that blonde cunt a major ass-whooping! I have a joke for her:

"What does Paris Hilton's diarrhea look like?"

"Kimberly Stewart"

[Page Six]


MK Olsen will kill that slut!


MK Olsen is a force to be reckoned with. Yes she's 2 inches shy of 2 feet, but don't fuck with her ass! She recently told her friend that she would beat down a model named May Anderson for hitting on her ex-boyfriend David Katzenberg.

MK was overheard screaming into her celly: "I'll kill that fucking slut!"

That's my kind of lady! MK and David split last year, but I guess the doll-sized mogul still has feelings for his ass!

How do people know she was talking about May? Maybe she's pissed at Ashley for flushing all her dexatrim down the toilet!

[Page Six]

Adios Howie!



Last night on Big Brother 6, that bitch Ivette sent Howie packing! For a minute I thought she was going to be smart enough to vote out Yapril instead. Yapril is a dumb bitch who deserves to be sent home! If she wins I swear I'm going to jump through my screen and beat down Julie Chen! But good prevailed when Janelle won HOH. Janelle better send Haggie home ASAP! Janelle also has a chance in turning those Friendship bitches against each other. She should cut a deal with Ivette to keep her in the game and then tell Yapril and Haggie that Ivette a cut a deal with her. Then those bitches know Ivette turned her back on them, thus garnering their votes for Janelle. Pack your bags bitches!

Howie's Bio

The Dlisted Report

Ewan McGregor will star in the $18 Million The Great Pretender. Ewan is just finishing his run in the West End revival of Guys and Dolls. The script concerns two ambitious producers in the 1930s who hire the hell-raising Hollywood legend Leslie Grangely to play Bonnie Prince Charlie in a movie about Scotland's Jacobite Rebellion in the 18th century. [Variety]

Comedy Central has signed a new deal with South Park creators keeping the show on the air until 2008. The network has granted 42 new episodes of the show. Trey Park and Matt Stone will continue to write, direct and edit every episode of the show. [Variety]

Universal Pictures will distribute the Outkast Musical for the big screen. Set amidst the backdrop of a 1930s southern speakeasy, the film follows two characters, Percival (Andre Benjamin), the club's piano player, and Rooster (Antwan Patton), the club's lead performer and manager, through intersecting stories of love and ambition. The film will feature songs from the duo's next album. The cast also includes Ving Rhames, Terrence Dashon Howard, Patti LaBelle, Macy Gray and Ben Vereen. [Coming Soon]

Gary Oldman is the latest star to climb aboard Alfonso Cuaron's The Children of Men. The flick will star Clive Owen, Julianne Moore and Charlie Hunnam. Shooting begins soon for a September 2006 release. [MTV]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!!



after being abandoned by gwen, the harajuku girls were forced to learn a marketable skill. - whatwouldjanicedickinsondo


Hot Slut of the Day!



Princess Michael of Kent

Birthday Sluts



Hugh Grant (45)
Michelle Williams (25)
Goran Visnjic (33)
Rachel Hunter (36)
Adam Sandler (39)
Tom Wopat (54)

Thursday, September 08, 2005

He's almost worse than the cat lady!



Steve Erhardt is fucking nuts! He's a Los Angeles celebrity hairdresser and make-up artist that has dropped nearly $250k on plastic surgery! The bitch has had over 30 procedures to look that disgusting!

Steve told ET: "When you're in Hollywood, you have to keep yourself together and looking good to extend your career. My photo gallery in my salon is like a chameleon. It's pretty amazing how I've changed over the years."

He looks like a chameleon alright! Steve had his first surgery in 1987 by Michael Jackson's surgeon. You know this bitch is nuts when he went to see the same surgeon as Jacko!

But, Steve is content by the way he looks now.

"I'm content with myself now because I've done everything that bothered me,"

If I saw this bitch walking down the street, I'd probably pull a Matrix and fly my ass to safety!



[ET Online]


Anna Wintour is a clumsy bitch!

Here's Vogue ediatrix Anna Wintour at the US Open falling off her chair like an idiot! Or maybe that woman behind her pushed her! Everyone hates Anna!




[City Rag]

No Title Necessary



[Hey Karen 2]

Tara's been fired!!!!

It seems that E! has beckoned Tara Reid and company back home to the states from abroad cutting short their dreams of cable TV superstardom! They were supposed to shoot 2 more episodes, but that shit ain't happening!

Good, because that show sucked! What sucked the most is that Tara basically didn't do anything. They went to the running of the bulls and I was praying to God to see this bitch get her fake tits ran over by dozens of bulls! But this didn't happen! She didn't even run with them, she chickened out!

E! should've put that shit in her contract! They should've put her fucking life in danger! That's what viewers want to see! We want to see our Tara Reid get torched in Tahiti and slaughtered in Slovenia!

[Defamer]

Damn! That's Toni Braxton!



Channeling Lil' Kim....

Nose job Jack!

The lovely City Rag did a comparison on Jack Osbourne's new neat nose. But maybe since he lost all that fat, nose fat came off? That doesn't make any sense, but that's what his rep should say!





[City Rag]

Star Jones' wifey can't get her preggers!

Or maybe they just don't do the deed. But Star said that her ass may be too old to have babies so Big Gay Al and her may adopt. That's so Object of My Affection! A fag and his hag raising a kid!

Star said: "We have to live with the truth. I'm 43, and although my body is still capable of carrying a baby, maybe, I'm not sure that it will be an easy process. We're not even sure if it's something we want to focus our attention on in the beginning of our marriage.

We both decided that if it doesn't happen naturally, that adoption is the definite way for us to go, she said. We believe so strongly in adoption, and there are so many African-American babies that could use homes."


That bitch can't have a baby, because she removed most of her organs to get skinny! And it ain't even possible since Gay Al always wants her to strap one on him!

[Web India]

[Thanks to Cajcaj!]

Hunter S. Thompson's Suicide Note



No more games. No more bombs. No more walking. No more fun. No more swimming. 67. That is 17 years past 50. 17 more than I needed or wanted. Boring. I am always bitchy. No fun--for anybody. 67. You are getting Greedy. Act your old age. Relax--this won't hurt.

Guess the Celebrity?



UPDATE - Click here to see the owner of this cleavage!

Congrats to those who guessed it right!

Mischa & Richie are the new HoHan & Richie!



Whadda hell is Mischa wearing? Nicole looks like a milkmaid, but a hot one!

[Lime-Light]

An Unfinished Life

So this movie was supposed to be JLo's big fucking break. It was supposed to show everyone that this bitch could act and hopefully garner her an Oscar nomination. But that doesn't seem to be the case anymore. The flick has been sitting on the shelf for almost 2 years and earlier test screening audiences hated this shit!

Sounds good on paper: The director is Lasse Hallstrom and the stars include Robert Redford and Morgan Freeman. It's about a down on her luck woman, desperate to provide care for her daughter, moves in with her father in-law from whom she is estranged. Through time, they learn to forgive each other and heal old wounds.

Sounds like Hallmark Hall of Fame if you ask me!

So last night was the rinky dinky premiere and here's some pics..



Here's JLo with a face of death!

Brad Pitt as Jesse James



Yawn....

Charlotte Lurch is a slut!

Exhibit A:

Jordan Wedding Watch: 2 Days to go!

That stupid piece of UK trash Jordan and her tits are set to walk down the aisle this Saturday in England. But there's more trouble! She has invited loads of celebs and many of them are turning down her invitation. This has her freaked out, because she promised a UK magazine that there would be loads of stars. The stupid mag paid the idiot $2 Million!

Charlotte Lurch was due to sing, but pulled out at the last minute. Shane Richie, Simon Cowell, Denise Van Outen and Davina McCall have also turned down her invite.

Shane Richie said: "I'd rather get my tits caught in the fridge door then go to Jordan's wedding, to be honest, I don't even know them."

A source said: "It's a mess. Jordan promised the magazine she would get loads of celebrity mates along to the wedding as part of her deal with them. But the fact is she doesn't really have many celebrity mates.

"Unless she rustles some stars up in the next few days, it's going to be really embarrassing for her."

Poor Jordan! If the bitch was smart (which she isn't) she would call Posh and tell her that Vanity Fair Magazine wants her for their cover and just her! Then that stupid bitch Posh would show up and the photogs would go crazy! God Jordan, this isn't brain surgery! Put in a tape of Dynasty and start your scheming!

[Ananova]

Finally some TomKat news!

I've been waiting in anticipation on any kind of news from those twin crazies and now we finally have some. Not much, but it's something. Katie Holmes will take on Tom Cruise's name when she marries the fool. Both of Tom's ex-wives kept their maiden names when they married him. But Katie is getting paid more, so she'll change her name professional and personally to Katie Cruise.

A source close to the couple said: "Tom calls her Kate, so he suggested she start going by that professionally. The surname change is something old-fashioned Holmes has always been keen on."

Katie will also have a 9-inch penis permanently attached for Mr. Cruise's pleasure.

[Ananova]

HoHan is an angel sent from God!

HoHan was out recently at a New York restaurant when she befriended a girl from New Orleans. Apparently the girl came for the day, but couldn't go back because of the Hurricane. HoHan felt bad, because the girl had nowhere to go so she offered to care for her. What a beautiful soul she has!

She said: "There was this girl the other night I was at dinner and she was from New Orleans. She came here (to New York) for a trip for the day. "Ironically, she couldn't go back and she is here. So I kind of took her under my wing. I said: 'Do you want to come and stay with us for the rest of the night?' It's just the scariest thought. I can't even imagine it."

The article failed to mention that this little girl robbed that bitch blind!

[Irish Examiner]


Christina Applegate is a dirty whore!

Ok, not really. But she confesses how when in Amsterdam recently she enjoyed a live sex show! She wouldn't dare go into strip clubs, but live sex is ok in her book. Damn, she's nasty.

She said: "I could never go to a strip club... I've been to a live sex show, but I haven't been to a strip club. It's completely different. ."They have them in Amsterdam. I had to (go and see it), I was in Amsterdam. .

It was interesting. They would do their thing and then they would get up and bow and that was really cute. It's really sweet, actually, in some sort of twisted way. ."

But my question is...did she jack to it?

[Female First]


Brown Walls, Brown Hands

Tommy Lee recalls one memorable meeting with that crow of a man, Ozzy Osbourne. Tommy invited Ozzy up to his hotel suite to hang out. When Ozzy arrived the unthinkable happened.

Tommy recalls: "Ozzy took a crap in my hotel room, right in the middle of the carpet, and then started painting the walls with his own s**t.

"Maybe in some crazy way, Ozzy meant it as a gesture of friendship".

Tommy totally meant that Ozzy took a crap on him! I know how those rockers do it!

[Contact Music]



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