Got Dayum!! Knoxville's looking hot!

Looks like Knoxville buffed up a bit! Just a bit...







[Pics: JustJared]

Guess the Celebrity?

UPDATE - Click here to see the owner of this snout!

Diddy eats floor!

Diddy or Shiddy as I like to call him performed recently at Ibiza club Space. I guess Diddy was feeling the crowd more than they were feeling him because during one of his songs he leapt in the crowd so he could surf, but the crowd wasn't into it. According to sources Diddy jumped into the crowd expecting to be caught. But instead everyone moved out of the way and the bitch ate floor!

A source said: "He took a dive from the stage , expecting to be caught by his fans. But no one caught him and he landed with a thud on the floor." .

Damn, I always miss all the good shows!

[Oh No They Didn't]

Ooo Kanye's got no love for Dubya!

Kanye West performed last night on NBC's A Concert for Hurricane Relief benefiting Katrina victims. During his time to perform, Kanye blasted George W. Bush.

He said:"George Bush doesn't care about black people" and said America is set up "to help the poor, the black people, the less well-off as slow as possible."

Kanye's comments only appeared on the East Coast broadcast because it was live. There was a several-second delay but the person in charge didn't cut his speech out because he was looking for "curse words.

But duh! Of course George Bush doesn't care about black people. He doesn't care about white bitches either! He just cares about BBQ Ribs and Howdy Doody!

Click here to see Kanye's rant! The look on Mike Meyers face is priceless!

[Yahoo]

Let me ask y'all a question...

We've been getting some spam here in the comment section and I was wondering what you guys thought I should do. I can either add that blogger feature to prevent spam which means that every time you leave a comment you have to fill out a word verification. It could be a bit annoying. Does anybody know if Haloscan comments have the same problem? If you guys aren't bothered by the spam then it could be left as is. Let a bitch know!

xoxoxoMichael K

Jodie is right!

Jodie Foster is only 43 but says that she's growing used to getting old and her face/body changes. Jodie has also made a vow to herself that she will never go plastic surgery overboard and end up looking like Cher.

She said: "I'm starting to see all the funny changes. As an actor, you look at photos of yourself and go, 'Oh, what is that?!' "See it's an awkward period, between 40 and 50, and I don't want to go through it. I don't want to compete in a losing battle. I don't want to be Cher."

Damn, who does want to look like Cher? Well, maybe Jocelyn "The Cat Lady" Wildenstein. She'd give her fucking left arm to look as normal as Cher!

[Contact Music]

Brad's parents aren't fooled by Angie's hypnotic vagina!

Brad Pitt's parents are warning their son of Angie Jolie, because of her bad marriage record? Uh, doesn't have a bad record as well? Bill and Jane Pitt currently still have a relationship with their ex-daughter-in-law Jennifer Aniston and believe that Angie isn't marriage material, because the bitch has been divorced twice.

When the Pitts first met Angie they said they thought she was "nice." Angie is reportedly a bit sad about this shit. Yeah right! That bitch doesn't give a fuck. She's thinking "I will use my T-Rex claws to destroy those bitches!"

And that's the truth!

[Female First]

I think that's the last thing a bitch would be thinking about!

e.l.f. Cosmetics (has anybody heard of their asses) has decided that they must help Hurricane Katrina victims in their own way. These idiots have made 10,000 specially made Hurricane Katrina Relief Beauty Kits that contain pressed powder, shimmering facial whip, lip moisturizer, lip gloss and mascara.

In a press release they said: "e.l.f. Cosmetics would like to do as much as they can to provide relief to this devastating situation. Thousands of people are without any of their belongings. Although makeup is a secondary need, e.l.f. hopes to get people back on track. This is a small token, but it's a start."

What the fuck? What about food and water? I know some of you vain bitches would be wanting to put on some lip gloss, but please.. I think these people are thinking about bigger things than looking hot. I'm as vain as the next bitch, but water is the most essential beauty product!

[Page Six]

Xtina, implants and a broken finger!

Xtina seems to always be breaking something. Just last month she had a broken arm! Now this bitch has a broken finger? It was probably a finger banging accident! But damn I never noticed her fake ass boobies before. But, she still looks hot. Much hotter than Brit Brit!

Hot Slut of the Day!

Lori Davis

Birthday Sluts

Dominic West (36)
Jennifer Paige (32)
Charlie Sheen (40)
Eileen Brennan (67)

The skank level in this picture is off the charts!

Turning the Tables

Matt Damon is currently shooting The Good Shepard in Brooklyn with Angie and De Niro. Here he is taking a break from a wedding scene by taking pictures of the bitches that take pictures of him. Oooh Matt, you're so smart! Like nobody's ever done that before!



[Lime-Light]

The Corset Queen

Damn, Kelly Osbourne's waist looks kind of small. I want to see this bitch without her girdle!

[Lime-Light]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

I'm going to go throw this hotdog down my hallway later. That's hot. - The Betsy

R.I.P. James from Big Brother 6

James' Bio

Hot Slut of the Day!

Mrs. Potato Head

Birthday Sluts

Keanu Reeves (41)
Aimee Osbourne (22)
Shauna Sand Lamos (34)
Camille Grammer (37)
Salma Hayek (39)
Tuc Watkins (39)

Max Harmon (54)

Goin' to California

Brit Brit Spears called and asked me to be there when she gives birth. So I'm flying to California tonight to be with that bitch. Actually, I'm going to Los Angeles tonight to visit my mom. I'll be there through Labor Day so my posting may be non-existent. We're going to go to Koi and then Spider so we can get our groove on. Check Lime-Light and you may see my ass at Kitson beating down HoHan with a Team Aniston t-shirt. So if you don't hear from my ass have a hot Labor Day!

xoxoxoMichael K

Orlando Bloom's got a pudge!

This is because of the gays!

This group calling themselves Columbia Christians for Life are happy Hurricane Katrina has struck New Orleans! Ya see Southern Decadence was supposed to happen this weekend in New Orleans. Southern Decadence is one of the biggest gay events in the country bringing in nearly $100 Million to New Orleans. So, this one group doesn't think it's a coincidence that Katrina struck when she did.

They said: "Although the loss of lives is deeply saddening, this act of God destroyed a wicked city. From 'Girls Gone Wild' to 'Southern Decadence,' New Orleans was a city that had its doors wide open to the public celebration of sin. May it never be the same."

These bitches are sniffing Courtney Love's air. They are wacko! I hope a hurricane strikes their asses soon!

I haven't talked about Katrina at all except for calling Courtney Love, Katrina. But this shit sucks and even though I have a stone cold heart I feel for all those people that are suffering. Some of the pictures are funny, but I'm insensitive. So I apologize for that, because there's really nothing funny about it.

OMG, it's official. I'm a Lifetime watching woman!

[Blog Critics]

Guess the Celebrity?

UPDATE - Click here to see the owner of this snout!

Jordan the children's designer!

My current favorite Jordan is planning to design her own children's line for big kids. Why? Because her son Harvey suffers from a hormone imbalance that makes him grow faster than usual. He currently wears clothes for 12-year-olds. Harvey is hot shit and you bitches better not talk bad about his ass! Ok you can.

Jordan said: "Harvey is really hard to buy for because he needs stuff for 12-year-olds. The problem is, a lot of it isn't suitable for him. So I have to do a lot of hunting around. We're not the only family with this problem, which is why I'd like to have a go at designing some clothes. I think it's something that could really take off."

Yes Jordan is to blame for Harvey's condition, because she drugged and boozed her way through pregnancy but she's still a saint! Viva Saint Jordan!

[Ananova]

Christina Ricci is a hunchback!

Christina Ricci spent a day at the beach with some chocolate cake and a diet coke. Because if you indulge on cake, you totally need to have a diet coke instead of a regular! Stand up straight bitch!



[JJB]

Vivica is Star's bitch!

Did anyone catch Vivica Fox on Jimmy Kimmel last night? Apparently she went ape shit on his ass when he joked about her friend Star "The Body" Jones. Jimmy made fun of Star in his opening monologue targeting her weight and her marriage to Gal Reynolds. But when Vivica sat down for her interview, things turned ugly. Vivica was one of Star's bridesmaids at her wedding to Gal. Jimmy continued to make fun of star at which Vivica responded with:

"We're off to a bad start... Maybe this will be on one of those DVDs 20 years from now. Great uncomfortable moments. We usually have really great comical moments, but that's my friend and I love her... It's not funny to me, so let's start over."
When Jimmy suggested that Vivie, Star and Gal should get together that's when Vivica turned ugly:

"You would get your ass kicked... I would have to take off my shoe and beat you down, brother!"

Vivica then walked off the set and the camera focused on her empty chair. Damn! Who saw this shit!?

[NY Daily News]

Mimi almost burned alive!

Mimi was taking a lil' nap last week in her Bel-Air home when a fire broke out unbeknownst to the beautiful songbird! According to sources Mimi was wakened by firefighters and rushed from her burning home before being burned alive!

A source revealed: "The firemen had to wake Mariah from a deep sleep to get her out of the burning room. .

"Fortunately the fire was quickly extinguished before it could spread to other rooms and do serious damage." .

But others are saying the story has been exaggerated and only a small fire broke out due to electrical problems and nobody was hurt.

I can totally see Mimi fleeing from her mansion in a marabou robe and silver slippers!

[Female First]

Battle for Lana!

Sharon Stone is raving mad because she insists Lana Turner wanted her to play Lana Turner before she died! But a new film has Catherine Zeta-Jones playing Lana Turner opposite Keanu Reeves. Sharon ain't having that shit!

She said: "I met Lana in her final years and liked her a great deal. She was every inch the great movie star and we got along really well." . "She said if there was a film to be made on her life, then I was her choice." .

Sharon, that bitch was probably drugged up! She wasn't in her right mind! She probably thought that you were Betty Rubble! Now that would be a hot Lana Turner!

[Ireland On-Line]

Scarlett Johansson is either blind or disgusting!

This is Scarlett: "Woody Allen is sexier than my boyfriend Josh Hartnett. He is the sexiest man in Hollywood."

This is Me: "You have a grandaddy complex"

This is Scarlett: "Duh!"

This is Me: "Ewww"

Can you believe that stupid cunt said that Woody Allen was the sexiest man in Hollywood?!? Maybe Hollywood BLVD, but that ain't saying much. I hope she's joking, because Woody Allen looks like a snail who has had too much salt poured on it!

[Female First]

Madge hawking Motorola

Madonna has begun filming a new commercial for Motorola hawking a new phone with a built in iPod. Madge apparently received $2 Million for the commercial which also includes Iggy Pop and possibly some other rock stars. The commercial features Madge riding a horse and breaking every bone in her body while rocking to an iPod! Just kidding, it features her in some box, blah blah blah..

Hmm, looks like Little Miss English Riding Lady is well enough to film a commercial. I thought this bitch was supposed to be in pain. I guess $2 Million can knock the pain right outta ya!

[News.com.au]

HoHan's Dickmatized!

Jared Leto's band 30 Seconds to Mars played NYC's Hammerstein Ballroom on Tuesday night and Miss Slutty herself HoHan was there. HoHan forced her bodyguard to push his way through the crowd of people so she could get to the front and gaze at Jared. After they finished playing, HoHan rushed backstage to be with Jared and then they left for the after-party and were together all night.

Damn, first Scarlett can't keep away and now HoHan. He must be packing large like people say or have some really good coke connections.

[Page Six]

When are these bitches finally going away!

Destiny's Child seems to be performing every GD day in some fucked up dress with some cheap ass hair! When are they finally breaking up? Didn't they announce that shit ten years ago or something? They are fucking with us, I know it! This is all a gimmick to get more fags and more 12 year-old girls to see their "Farewell Tour." Yeah farewell in a Cher kind of way!



P.S. - I think Beyonce wore this same dress at the VMAs on Sunday. They must be broke, so they had to butcher that dress to make 3. How embarrassing!

A 45 Year-Old Brit Brit does Elle

World renowned photographer Gilles Bensimon (according to Tyra Banks) shot a preggers Brit Brit for Elle. I don't know about you, but this looks like shit. She straight up looks like she strolled into the mall and got some glamour shots for $20 a sheet. And she totally looks like a soccer mom! And not in a good way!





[JJB]

Timberlake thugs out!

Alpha Dog

When a young drug dealer by the name of Johnny Truelove kidnaps Zack Mazursky, the fifteen-year-old brother of a man in debt to him, things don’t go according to plan. As he desperately tries to get the money owed to him, Johnny’s crew looks after Zack. Though a hostage, Zack is enjoying the excitement of his situation, blissfully unaware of the despair of his parents, the rage of his brother and also of the fatal conclusion that awaits him.
Inspired by a true story, ALPHA DOG is a moving and tragic drama centred on the three fateful days when the lives of a few suburban kids were turned upside down forever.







[Latino Review]

The Dlisted Report

Geoffrey Rush and Clive Owen have officially signed up for The Golden Age which is a sequel to 1998's Elizabeth. Cate Blanchett will repeat her role as Queen Elizabeth and Shekhar Kapur will again direct. Shooting begins April. [Variety]

Jessica Alba will go the indie route in Awake. The story focuses on a man who suffers "anesthetic awareness" and finds himself awake and aware, but paralyzed, during surgery. His young wife (Jessica) must wrestle with her own demons as a drama unfolds around them. Hayden Christensen and Sigourney Weaver will also star. Shooting begins this October in New York. [Variety]

Michael Ball will repeat his London role in The Woman in White on Broadway this fall. Michael will again don a fat suit and tons of make-up for the role of Count Fosco. [Broadway]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!!

"I'm a rootin tooting cowboy,
from Harvard and Yale I come
I've never done,
a day's work in my life
Them Iraqi's- I got me some.
Your vote doesn't count,
Religion's my game
Dibold helped me out.
First the country,
Then the world.
All you liberals sit and pout." - Mike V

Hot Slut of the Day!

Snow Urbin

Birthday Sluts

Scott Speedman (30)
Tempestt Bledsoe (33)
Lily Tomlin (66)
Yves Saint-Laurent (70)
Yvonne De Carlo (83)

Free at Last!

Martha Stewart will get to take off that super hot, but annoying ankle bracelet at 12:05am tonight! The poor thing has been confined to her luxurious 153-acre estate for 5 months plus 3 extra weeks. Martha will hand over the bracelet to authorities tomorrow.

Watch out world, Martha is now free to bitch you out on YOUR turf!

[Yahoo]

Top 15 Hot Cartoon Sluts of the 80s!

Lahoma00 here to take you through the top 15 hot cartoon sluts of the 1980s!


Click here to see the list!


#15 Madame Razz (She-Ra: Princess of Power)

Madame Razz always reminded me of Valerie Harper or Madge, the Palmolive lady who told you how well Palmolive cleaned your dishes AND your hands. Razz was that stupid bitch who was always fucking up her spells and talked like an old lady from New York. Here Madame Razz is seen causing disaster, as well as with her lovable companion Broom, who was a homosexual. Madame Razz was a fag hag!



#14 Lady Jaye (GI Joe: A Real American Hero)



Lady Jaye was fucking hot! This bitch could kick your ass with her fists, a gun, or her javelin. In one episode she beat somebody with a purse! My favorite episode was where she and the Baroness got kidnapped; they beat a bunch of robots while Lady Jaye was wearing business casual and Baroness was in a bikini!



Here is Lady Jaye with her boyfriend Flint, but it was all a cover because we know she was a dyke. That’s why she was little boys favorite because she was basically a guy herself! She wanted to fuck Cover Girl!

#13 Woolma Lamb (The Get Along Gang)



Woolma was the snotty bitch of this group, always acting prissy and coming her hair. Once I was in a green room of a talk show and Joan Collins was there, primping and looking in the mirror. She reminded me of this bitch.



#12 Melodia (Silverhawks)

Melodia was one in a long string of MTV inspired cartoon characters. All Melodia did was shriek a lot and play really shitty guitar in outer space. But her hair was hot! Glynne Headley would play her in the movie.



#11 LaLa Orange (Rainbow Brite)



Look at this slut! She thought she was a fucking French lady with her beret but she’s nothing but a Parisian whore! She was always winking and trying to suck Red Butler’s dick!

#10 Carla (Kidd Video)

Kidd Video was seriously one of the hottest cartoons around: Four kids (including Cousin Oliver from the Brady Bunch) get sucked into a cartoon where they play rock n’ roll and run away from Master Blaster and his psycho cats! Carla was the Apollonia/Sheena Easton/Vanity wannabe. She was so hot because she said was from East L.A.. and always wore her t-shirt with the shoulder exposed. I think she was a shitty singer!




#9 Jacqueline Stallone



She wasn’t in a cartoon but look at this bitch! She’s cazy!

#8 Pizzaz (Jem)



How can this slut not be on it? Pizzaz was always trying to fuck with Jem’s career, causing destruction and chaos wherever she went. She was especially hot because her birth name was PHYLLIS GABOR. I loved when this bitch would try to steal Jem’s boyfriend, Eric. She thought she was so fucking sexy, but she looks like an alligator on crack!



#7 Nanny (Muppet Babies)



Nanny had the hottest legs in show business! You never saw this slut, but you know that she resembled Polly Holliday or Barbara Billingsley.

#6 Brittany (Alvin and the Chipmunks)



Brittany was hot because she wore Danskins and acted like a bitch all the time! What few of you sluts realize is that Brittany is single handedly responsible for the creation of Brittany Spears! Look at how Brit Brit was influenced by her.



The only difference was, Brittany was never pregnant white trash!

#5 Crasher (Challenge of the GoBots)

For so many years I thought Crasher was a gay guy. Then I realized he was a she! But it’s a thin line anyway, isn’t it bitches? Anyway, Crasher sort of looks like Pete Burns and has a British accent. She always would laugh hysterically after stepping on people and causing destruction, like she was having an orgasm. She was the first 80s cartoon character into S&M!



#4 Cheetara (Thundercats)

Aside from beating people’s asses with her hot staff, Cheetara was a fucking porn star! Look at this picture from the first episode!



You can see her tits! I remember this freaked me out as a kid. It was the same sort of fascination and feeling when you’re doing something you are not supposed to, like looking at a copy of your brother’s (or mother's) issue of Hustler. I think her tits freaked so many kids out that they became fags! Holy shit, the right wing needs to start blaming Cheetara for gay marriage!



#3 Catra (She-Ra: Princess of Power)

How could we not include this bitch? She was always trying to defeat She-Ra but would always end up in a puddle of water or something. Catra was so hot because, despite being able to turn into a cat herself, she used to get carted around by her cat Clawdeen. The bitch is so self-entitled!



When you’d buy the action figure it described her as a “jealous beauty.” A few years ago some friends and I were going to start a band called CATRA: JEALOUS BEAUTY! Our first album was going to be called “Anxiety and Falcon Crest.” How hot would this whore be on the cover?



#2 Evil Lyn (He-Man and the Masters of the Universe)



The mother of all bitches! Every little boy was scared of her, unless they were gay in which case they wanted to be her! Evil-Lyn was Skeletor’s bitch but she really ran the roost. She always reminded me of Linda Dano. Look, isn’t the resemblance clear? Actually, Linda Dano sort of looks like Gozar from Ghostbusters.



Evil-Lyn is the only person on our list to be featured on the big screen in form of none other than the extremely scary MEG FOSTER. Meg, of course, is best known for her creepy eyes, Beverly D’Angelo wannabe look and for getting her ass fired from the Cagney and Lacey pilot! She’s so hot in the Masters of the Universe movie because she is a galatic conqueror and at one point kicks Courtney Cox’s ass!



#1 Bianca Dupree (Beverly Hills Teens)



Holy shit! The choice was clear—Bianca is #1! Beverly Hills Teens was a ridiculous cartoon from 1987 about super rich teens that all hung out at a country club and dated each other. Despite being loaded, they all wore the same fucking clothes everyday! Bianca was the rich bitch of the group and was so hot! She had a dog Fifi and a chauffeur Wilshire that loved her ass but she treated him like shit!



Bianca was always scheming to break up supercouple Troy and Lark and get Troy for herself. Seen her is that trifecta of power, along with some irritating short kid.



When I first met Michael K, one of the first things we talked about was how hot Bianca was! It bonded us forever. This is for you Michael K—long live Bianca!

Janelle from Big Brother does Playboy!

For those of you that watch Big Brother 6 you are very familiar with Janelle, the blonde bombshell. Well reader Emma sent me in some pictures of Janelle in Playboy a few years ago! I knew deep down she was a Playboy slut!

[Thanks to Emma]

Click for her nudies!

Charlize wants another Oscar sooo bad!

A fictionalized account of the first major successful sexual harassment case in the United States -- Jenson vs. Eveleth Mines, where a woman who endured a range of abuse while working as a miner filed and won the landmark 1984 lawsuit.

Guess the Celebrity?

UPDATE - Click here to see the owner of this smile!

Hot Slut of the Week: Jackie Stallone

Age: 82
Birthday: 1923
Birth Name: Jacqueline Stallone

Original Date of Hot Slut of the Day: August 23, 2005
Claim to Fame: Being Sly Stallone's mother and a really bad psychic!

Where is she now? She recently was on the UK Celebrity Big Brother and was the first voted out. She's still doing her rump readings. Visit her website to get your ass read!

Why is she Hot Slut of the Week? Duh, because she reads asses!

A horse is a horse of course of course!

At the launch of her new fragrance "Hay." Ok, it's really called "Lovely." Yeah Right!

Mrs. Robinson

It seems that Keanu Reeves is no longer dating actress Lynn Collins. There are rumors that Keanu is back to romancing Diane Keaton despite their age gap of 19 years. The two met while filming 2003's Something's Gotta Give.

Sources say that the two have been out several times in the past weeks. You go Diane, your wrinkly cooch needs some attention too!

[Ananova]

That lazy bitch!

Posh Beckham is upset over reports that she's never read a book in her life! A magazine quoted Posh as saying that she has never read a book and that she prefers music and reading magazines. But Posh is firing back!

She said: "Just recently there was all this nonsense about how I've never read a book. It was an interview I did for a Spanish magazine, and what I said was that I never seem to finish books. "I always start them, get distracted, and never seem to get the time to finish - I'm sure all mothers with three boys know what I mean. "And as for all those cynics who say I'm jeopardizing my boys' future knowledge, don't be so ridiculous. Of course we read books together. "(Sons) ROMEO and BROOKLYN both love reading stories, and as they are both starting to pick up basic Spanish words, they both have some Spanish books as well."

Ok so she never finishes them. So she reads like a paragraph, gets bored, smokes a ciggie, reads Vogue, takes a nap and then gets drunk. I don't know why you have to lie Posh, there's nothing wrong with never reading a book! Especially when you're as hot as you!

And on another lie, don't sit there and say you read books with your kids. Your nanny does, bitch! Taking credit for someone else's work is not Posh!

[Contact Music]

Naomi the Terrible is at it again!

Naomi Campbell seriously needs to be put down! She's more dangerous than a pitt bull in heat. She was recently at a Brazilian restaurant when she had a huge fight with Marcelle Bittar, another model. The fight started when Marcelle confronted Naomi beating up a mutual friend and model booker causing him to be canned.

An onlooker said they "gave quite a show of punches and slaps."

Naomi's reps have denied the claims calling Marcelle crazy!

Don't these bitches ever learn! Don't get Naomi mad, especially when you're at a restaurant and knives and forks are completely accessible!

[MSNBC]

MTV VMA Dressing Room Requests:

50 Cent:
Lifestyles and Rough Riders condoms
KFC
Cristal
Mac and Cheese

Coldplay:
48 bottles of beer
Vodka
Wine
Organic Soup

Shakira:
Sensual drapes
Expensive flowers

Kelly Clarkson:
Vanilla scented candles



Mariah Carey:
Tampons
Spanx
Cristal Light

Ok she didn't really request that shit!

Knoxville admits he has a small one!

Johnny Knoxville has admitted that his friend isn't so impressive.

Johnny said: "It looks like an egg in a nest. This girl once said to me, 'Who are you going to satisfy with that little thing?' I said, 'Me!' "

Johnny also admits that he's always horny and loves beautiful woman. Oh really?

"To be honest I'm pretty much generally horny. The one time I wasn't was when I had concussion.".

I don't believe him. Men that say they have lil' ones, usually don't!

[Female First]

Shar Jackson is Ghetto

These are some shots that Shar Jackson aka Kevin Federline's baby mama did for Star magazine. Bitch can't get Jet at least? Britney may be white trash, but this bitch here is hoody-hoo! Kori is super cute though! And I thought we were rid of the trucker cap for good!





[Oh No They Didn't]

Dark Lady

Brad Pitt was visiting his master on the set of The Good Shepard yesterday. I must say he looks so much hotter with this black hair instead of that hideous Billy Idol hair-don't!





[JJB]

The Dlisted Report

Jim Carrey is in talks to join Ben Stiller in Used Guys to be directed by Jay Roach. The futuristic Used Guys is set in a world where women run the Earth. Men became extinct because they ingested an enhancement drink that proved fatal. Jim and Ben will play cones of one another. [Variety]

Terrence Malick and Colin Farrell may team up again for Tree of Life. The plot has not been revealed, but shooting is set to begin this January in India. Terrence and Colin last worked together on the upcoming The New World. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Joe Pesci will return to the big-screen in The Good Shepard which is currently filming. Joe will join Matt Damon, Robert De Niro and Angelina Jolie. [Filmjerk.com]

Speaking of The Good Shepard, Billy Crudup is currently shooting scenes for that film and once completed he will go to the set of Mission Impossible III. Billy is set to play a lead role and joins Tom Cruise and company. Filming started back in July. [Variety]

Is Robbie Williams going to star in a remake of Saturday Night Fever? Robin and Barry Gibb will gain ownership of their catalog this year and plan to make a big remake of the 70s classic. [Dark Horizons]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!!

here we see four rare panda bears drinking from the fertile waters of britney's amniotic sack. - Anonymous 2:06pm

Hot Slut of the Day!

Michael Bolton

[For Liz]

Birthday Sluts

Richard Gere (56)
Sara Ramirez (29)
Debbie Gibson (35)
Julie Brown (47)
Van Morrison (60)

Trash Spice!

What is Posh doing wearing daisy dukes without panties?! Damn, she's nasty. But I bet you it smells like gardenias. Yeah, she keeps it clean and she hardly lets her man touch it. That's some designer snatch. I bet you she had the Louis Vuitton monogram suntanned onto it. Hmmm...


[Click on image for full size]

[A Socialite's Life]

The Human Zoo

A London zoo has opened a new exhibit they call The Human Zoo. It shows eight humans dressed in leaves walking around. This is stupid!

A zoo official said: "We have set up this exhibit to highlight the spread of man as a plague species and to communicate the importance of man's place in the planet's ecosystem,"

Poor bitches, you know they are only getting paid minimum-wage to do this shit! Shit, I'd pay to see Courtney Love do that shit and she would do it for minimum wage! Someone get her on the horn!

[Ananova]

Have The Hepatitis Twins reunited?

Pammy Anderson and Kid Rock were photographed enjoying a romantic stroll in Malibu. The press say "romantic" but I couldn't find any pics in this series of them holding hands or shit. This is the closest they get. But once they got in the car Pam probably hand jobbed him. Ewww, Kid Rock is sooo gross! This bitch is all about recycling!



[Lime-Light]

Because I know how much you sluts love Angie!

No she isn't becoming Brad's husband, she's filming more scenes for that movie of hers. I think Angie is gorgeous, but since you guys have pointed out she has dinosaur hands....well it grossed me out a bit. But I'd still take her strap-on!

Angie gets her groove on!

Angie danced to Wyclef Jean at a Haitian Charity Event in the Hamptons. And you bitches are right, her hands are ginormous!

[Lime-Light]

Guess the Celebrity?

UPDATE - Click here for the owner of these penguin lips!

CZJ sucks at golf!

Catherine Zeta-Jones was a participant at a celebrity golf tournament this past weekend. She sucked so hard that her caddy thought she has never played golf in her life, even though she's played many years!

She said: "It was horrific. My caddie said: 'Is this the first time you've played golf?' "I cried on the seventh hole, I went: 'Oh my God, I've been playing for seven years."

So she just bought the winners trophy. Buying your way to first place is so much easier! And better on the skin!

[Ireland Online]

What is wrong with this picture?

Brad and Zahara

Brad babysat his master's baby while she was worked on set for her new film The Good Shepard. I wonder if Brad gets a time out if he doesn't do a good job?





[Splash News]

What the hell is Charlotte Lurch doing!

She is the opposite of sexy!



[Thighs Wide Shut]

Papa Joe is Severely Creepy!

But at least she know this bitch is down with crunking!



[Lime-Light]

Eddie Murphy DOES love the trannies!

There were rumors that Mimi and Eddie Murphy got freaky at a VMA after party on Sunday. Apparently, they partied until 3am and then left together! This confirms that Eddie Murphy LOVES the ladydudes!







[Oh No They Didn't]

BREAKING NEWS!!

Here is an EXCLUSIVE picture of a 25-foot tidal wave crashing towards HoHan! Let's hope all the crack in her system dulls the pain!

I know Angie was behind this!

A homeless man pleaded not guilty to breaking into Jennifer Aniston's Malibu home. David Hesterbey jumped over a 9-foot fence and broke into Jen's home looking for her ass. An employee at Jen's home went to confront his ass, but David got scared and split out of there heading for the beach. He was caught by police later that day.

This is actually pretty fucking scary if you think about it. I get freaked out when I see a fly out of the corner of my eye. I can only imagine if you're chillin at your crib and some homeless bitch comes bursting in looking for your ass.

But you know Angie was the mastermind of this operation. Me thinks Angie is sick of bitches sympathizing with Jen so is trying to set that bitch up. GD that Angie, you're such a vixen!

[Washington Post]

Jordan Wedding Watch: 11 Days to go!

Jordan and Peter Andre are getting married on September 10th in England and I can't wait for this shit! Jordan already has her bridesmaids set and now she has said that none of Peter's ex-girlfriends are allowed to attend the wedding!

She said: "I've banned a couple of people - girls who Pete has been with. There's no way they're coming'. I mean, I'm not inviting anyone I've been with."

She's not inviting anyone she's been with either? Damn, that leaves about 4 men probably. That's going to be one lonely wedding.

It has also been confirmed that Charlotte Lurch will be a bridesmaid and perform at the wedding. She will also probably get shit-faced drunk and jump into the pool. But that's to be expected.

Jordan also wants to break the world's record with having the longest wedding train. The current record is 2,545ft held by a Dutch woman.

And get this shit! Apparently her wedding cake will be a replica of her size 35FF tits!

OMG, this is going to be the hottest wedding ever!!! Too bad she isn't 8-months preggers currently, that would just take everything to a new level!

[Sky News]

Melanie Griffith finds aging humiliating!

Melanie Griffith has been pretty outspoken about getting old. We know the bitch doesn't like it! Melanie's latest bitch is that it has been hard for her to find work after she turned 40.

She said: "It is weird to have been working in this business for 32 years and not get the jobs you used to get, or even the interviews and the scripts. .."It is scary, sad, humiliating and weird." "The whole thing is hard. I think it is unfortunate in the sense that we get better as we get older - we get more interesting. It is sad that whoever it is just wants to see a 20-year-old woman's face as opposed to a 40- or 50-year-old woman's heart, essence and brains." .

Melanie also said that Meryl Streep was one of the only actress over 40 who was consistently getting work? Bitch that's not true, what about Susan Sarandon, Jodie Foster and Julianne Moore? Bitch Melanie, I think you're not getting work because your face has gotten scary! Once the new Batman movies decide to include a new Joker, bitch you're the one!

[Female First]

Courtney Love has flown over the cuckoo's nest!

First Courtney Love said she was preggers with Steve Coogan's baby and then she said that was a lie. Well, Court called UK's News of the World and told them she was pregnant. This bitch is seriously living in her own world.

Court said: "I'm pregnant. I only found out 72 hours go. I've only told three people and you're the fourth. I haven't even told Steve yet. I've been really unslutty and really picky. I haven't been with another man for a year, which is how I know the baby is his."

She went on to babble: "I'm old and this maybe my last chance to conceive another child."

First of all, if she was ABLE to conceive and even have birth that baby would be seriously screwed up. That baby would not even be human, it would just be a huge 8-ball. Maybe she thinks she's preggers, because she had to stuff so much heroin up her snatch to get it through airport security and then forgot about it. Hey anything could happen!

[Female First]

Martha's catchphrase...

Martha's reality show The Apprentice: Martha Stewart debuts Septembers 21 and the theme song is reportedly Sweet Dreams by The Eurthymics, because Martha loves Annie Lennox! And Martha's catchphrase won't be "You're Fired" but will instead be the lame "You Just Don't Fit In."

Shit, that's worse than Kathy Hilton's "You're not on the list!"

[Page Six]

The Dlisted Report

Charlize Theron will guest star on Arrested Development for 5 episodes. She'll play a British woman and love interest for Jason Bateman's character. She will debut on the second episode of the third season which starts September 19th. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Anna Faris and Eddie Izzard will join Uma Thurman and Owen Wilson in Super Ex for director Ivan Reitman. The comedy centers on a man (Owen) who learns that his girlfriend (Uma) is a superhero and breaks up with her when she becomes too controlling and neurotic. She then uses her powers to torment and embarrass him. Anna will play Owen's love interest and Eddie will play the movie's villian. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Cheri Oteri, Amy Poehler, Jill Ritchie, Miranda Richardson, Jon Lovitz, John Larroquette, Wallace Shawn and Bai Ling have joined the cast of Southland Tales. The Rock, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Sean William Scott currently headline the flick. The thriller is set in the futuristic landscape of Los Angeles on July 4, 2008, as it stands on the brink of social, economic and environmental disaster. The Rock will star as Boxer Santaros, an action star stricken with amnesia whose life intertwines with Krysta Now (Sarah Michelle), an adult film star developing her own reality television project, and David Clark (Sean William), a Hermosa Beach police officer who holds the key to a vast conspiracy. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Frenchie Davis of American Idol fame will play Bill Clinton's secretary Betty Currie in Monica! The Musical which will debut at the New York Musical Theater Festival. The musical about the sexual scandal involving Clinton and White House intern Monica Lewinsky has been seen in developmental stagings, including a May 2005 workshop in Manhattan. [Playbill]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!!

after a marathon day of anal sex, ryan seacrest shows up on the white carpet. Organizers provided the gaffers tape to help keep the rug clean. - Anonymous 3:47pm

Hot Slut of the Day!

NANCY ALLEN

[For Cicely]

Birthday Sluts

Paul Oakenfold (42)

Lisa Ling (32)
Cameron Diaz (33)
Frederique Van Der Wal (38)
Michael Michele (39)
Michael Chiklis (42)

EXCLUSIVE Pictures of Hurricane Katrina!

I always pictured Katrina as a brunette!

Kill Reality stars go wild!

A source told Radar that even though it looks like the Kill Reality cast members are going wild, not even half of what's going on is being aired.

They said: "The whole cast was drunk or wasted throughout the taping, and everyone was having sex with everyone else. Not only were there orgies, but at one point someone relieved himself on Trishelle in full view of the cameras and, from what I saw, she loved it. "

Apparently Tonya Cooley also begged other cast members to do lines off of her vagina "because it turns her on."

OMG that turned me on.

Also, apparently Reichen (openly gay cast member of Amazing Race) received several phone calls from Clay Aiken. He denied they were dating, but sources say Clay called Reichen all the time!

[Radar]

HoHan wants Ashlee's ass!

Ashlee is seriously hideous!

Bitch may be right, but I still hate her ass!

"It would have been a lot easier on Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston now if they had not talked to the press about each other and everything to begin with. "I learned my lesson at 24" - Gwyneth Paltrow

Chelsea's Single!

Chelsea Clinton and Ian Klaus have ended their long romance! Now that Chelsea's broken-hearted she needs to get her dick on! Someone get Jared Leto on the phone!

Espresso in my nipples!

Pamela Anderson said that she loves to drink espresso because she can feel it in her nipples! But my question is, how can she feel anything in her nipples? They've been prodded and probed so much that even the sensation of a shark biting that shit shouldn't stir her!

She said: "I do great cappuccinos - even though my mom calls them 'cap-a-craps'. She prefers to drink hot brown water all day.

"As far as coffee goes, though, I'd say espresso gets the job done - it goes right to your nipples!"

[Female First]

Tara Reid is NO Diva!

Tara Reid was in London recently and surprised the staff at the hotel she was staying at with requesting an extra room solely to store her shoes! Tara is currently in Europe taping her E! show Taradise. She checked into a London hotel with Paris Hilton, but Tara's the one the staff was surprised at!

A source said: "She booked herself into one of our most expensive suites at around $4,000 a night but then requested a second room too to keep all her shoes.

"It was absolutely bizarre. She said she'd collected all these shoes while she'd been traveling around Europe, but quite why she has to house them separately remains a mystery. .

"The irony is that Miss Hilton was also staying but she was no trouble at all." .

That wasn't for her shoes! That extra room was for her vagina! But unfortunately there isn't a hotel big enough to house that huge mess!

[Ireland Online]

Brit Brit is on a rampage!

According to sources of Jamie Lynn Spears' TV show Zoey 101, Brit Brit Spears stormed onto the set and bitched out one of Jamie Lynn's 13yo co-stars!

A source said: "Britney had the talent coordinator bring [co-star] Alexa Nikolas over to Jamie Lynn's trailer — where she proceeded to scream that Alexa was an 'evil little girl,' and that she had better watch herself or she 'will never work in this town again!' "

"Alexa was in tears. She was sobbing and totally upset — I mean, she has been buying Britney CDs since she was 6, and then Britney tears her to pieces? It was totally uncalled for. While Jamie Lynn is the star, Alexa still works there and it is technically her set. And the fight was a petty, 13-year-old thing between Alexa and Jamie Lynn, who is becoming a real pest. Britney should have stayed out of it."

Another source on the set said that Jamie Lynn Spears is a super bitch and even worse now because they are currently in the midst of contract negotiations an Jaime Lynn is asking for tons of dough!

There's nothing trashier than a heavily pregnant woman bitching out a 13yo girl! GD, I hope they kept the cameras rolling for that shit!

[Page Six]

The Dlisted Report

John Leguizamo has joined the cast of ER this upcoming season. He has been confirmed for 12 episodes total. ER premieres Thursday, September 22nd. [TVGuide]

The 40-Year-Old-Virgin was the #1 movie for the second week in a row bringing in $16.4 Million. The Brothers Grimm came in second with a total of $15.1 Million. [Box Office Mojo]

Robert Redford and Paul Newman look likely to team up one more time before they say goodbye to this life! The two are expected to star in A Walk in the Woods. [Dark Horizons]

Fergie got through the night without pissing her panties once!

But I think she might've taken a dump in her panties just once!

I Love Ice-T's Wife!

The Official Ambassador to the Gays was at the VMAs!

Which one is the dude?

Cat Fight!

Oooh..HoHan and Gwen both showed up in animal print! Too bad HoHan looks more like an alley cat! Just kidding! HoHan looks hot!

BREAKING NEWS!!

Jessica Simpson was attacked by a bear at the MTV VMAs! That sneaky bear got away with the back half of her top! He also ravaged through her hair to find some berries! Poor Jessica!

Eva LongWHORIA..let the MTV VMA bashing begin!

Let's start with the super slutty Eva LongWHORIA. Look what this bitch wore to present her award. She looks like a GD prostitute! And not even a classy one! A dirty, dirty, dirty one. Yes, the theme was water, but that didn't mean to rip out your swimsuit and parade down the stage like this was Miss America! And if it was, you wouldn't even make the top 20 bitch!

Hot Slut of the Day!

Kitty Carlisle Hart

[For Michael]

Birthday Sluts

Michael Jackson (47)
Carla Gugino (34)
Frances Ruffelle (40)
Rebecca De Mornay (43)
Joe Schumacher (66)
Elliot Gould (67)

A little nip and a little tuck!

Hi y'all! Welcome to the new and improved Dlisted! We've just put on a different shade of lipstick and curled our hair a bit. Nothing drastic. I didn't post much this weekend, because I was working on this shit. Thanks to Markus, because without his ass this shit would still look tired!

Let the trashing begin!

xoxoxoMichael K

Hot Slut of the Day!

Gena Rowlands

[For Lookee]

Birthday Sluts

Jason Priestley (36)
LeAnn Rimes (23)
Jack Black (36)
Shania Twain (40)
Jennifer Coolidge (42)