Dlisted: 08/28/2005 - 09/04/2005

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Got Dayum!! Knoxville's looking hot!

Looks like Knoxville buffed up a bit! Just a bit...

[Pics: JustJared]

Guess the Celebrity?

UPDATE - Click here to see the owner of this snout!

Diddy eats floor!

Diddy or Shiddy as I like to call him performed recently at Ibiza club Space. I guess Diddy was feeling the crowd more than they were feeling him because during one of his songs he leapt in the crowd so he could surf, but the crowd wasn't into it. According to sources Diddy jumped into the crowd expecting to be caught. But instead everyone moved out of the way and the bitch ate floor!

A source said: "He took a dive from the stage , expecting to be caught by his fans. But no one caught him and he landed with a thud on the floor." .

Damn, I always miss all the good shows!

[Oh No They Didn't]

Ooo Kanye's got no love for Dubya!

Kanye West performed last night on NBC's A Concert for Hurricane Relief benefiting Katrina victims. During his time to perform, Kanye blasted George W. Bush.

He said:"George Bush doesn't care about black people" and said America is set up "to help the poor, the black people, the less well-off as slow as possible."

Kanye's comments only appeared on the East Coast broadcast because it was live. There was a several-second delay but the person in charge didn't cut his speech out because he was looking for "curse words.

But duh! Of course George Bush doesn't care about black people. He doesn't care about white bitches either! He just cares about BBQ Ribs and Howdy Doody!

Click here to see Kanye's rant! The look on Mike Meyers face is priceless!


Let me ask y'all a question...

We've been getting some spam here in the comment section and I was wondering what you guys thought I should do. I can either add that blogger feature to prevent spam which means that every time you leave a comment you have to fill out a word verification. It could be a bit annoying. Does anybody know if Haloscan comments have the same problem? If you guys aren't bothered by the spam then it could be left as is. Let a bitch know!

xoxoxoMichael K

Jodie is right!

Jodie Foster
is only 43 but says that she's growing used to getting old and her face/body changes. Jodie has also made a vow to herself that she will never go plastic surgery overboard and end up looking like Cher.

She said: "I'm starting to see all the funny changes. As an actor, you look at photos of yourself and go, 'Oh, what is that?!' "See it's an awkward period, between 40 and 50, and I don't want to go through it. I don't want to compete in a losing battle. I don't want to be Cher."

Damn, who does want to look like Cher? Well, maybe Jocelyn "The Cat Lady" Wildenstein. She'd give her fucking left arm to look as normal as Cher!

[Contact Music]

Brad's parents aren't fooled by Angie's hypnotic vagina!

Brad Pitt's parents are warning their son of Angie Jolie, because of her bad marriage record? Uh, doesn't have a bad record as well? Bill and Jane Pitt currently still have a relationship with their ex-daughter-in-law Jennifer Aniston and believe that Angie isn't marriage material, because the bitch has been divorced twice.

When the Pitts first met Angie they said they thought she was "nice." Angie is reportedly a bit sad about this shit. Yeah right! That bitch doesn't give a fuck. She's thinking "I will use my T-Rex claws to destroy those bitches!"

And that's the truth!

[Female First]

I think that's the last thing a bitch would be thinking about!

e.l.f. Cosmetics (has anybody heard of their asses) has decided that they must help Hurricane Katrina victims in their own way. These idiots have made 10,000 specially made Hurricane Katrina Relief Beauty Kits that contain pressed powder, shimmering facial whip, lip moisturizer, lip gloss and mascara.

In a press release they said: "e.l.f. Cosmetics would like to do as much as they can to provide relief to this devastating situation. Thousands of people are without any of their belongings. Although makeup is a secondary need, e.l.f. hopes to get people back on track. This is a small token, but it's a start."

What the fuck? What about food and water? I know some of you vain bitches would be wanting to put on some lip gloss, but please.. I think these people are thinking about bigger things than looking hot. I'm as vain as the next bitch, but water is the most essential beauty product!

[Page Six]

Xtina, implants and a broken finger!

Xtina seems to always be breaking something. Just last month she had a broken arm! Now this bitch has a broken finger? It was probably a finger banging accident! But damn I never noticed her fake ass boobies before. But, she still looks hot. Much hotter than Brit Brit!

Hot Slut of the Day!

Lori Davis

Birthday Sluts

Dominic West (36)
Jennifer Paige (32)
Charlie Sheen (40)
Eileen Brennan (67)

Friday, September 02, 2005

The skank level in this picture is off the charts!

Turning the Tables

Matt Damon is currently shooting The Good Shepard in Brooklyn with Angie and De Niro. Here he is taking a break from a wedding scene by taking pictures of the bitches that take pictures of him. Oooh Matt, you're so smart! Like nobody's ever done that before!


The Corset Queen

Damn, Kelly Osbourne's waist looks kind of small. I want to see this bitch without her girdle!



I'm going to go throw this hotdog down my hallway later. That's hot. - The Betsy

R.I.P. James from Big Brother 6

James' Bio

Hot Slut of the Day!

Mrs. Potato Head

Birthday Sluts

Keanu Reeves (41)
Aimee Osbourne (22)
Shauna Sand Lamos (34)
Camille Grammer (37)
Salma Hayek (39)
Tuc Watkins (39)

Max Harmon (54)

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Goin' to California

Brit Brit Spears
called and asked me to be there when she gives birth. So I'm flying to California tonight to be with that bitch. Actually, I'm going to Los Angeles tonight to visit my mom. I'll be there through Labor Day so my posting may be non-existent. We're going to go to Koi and then Spider so we can get our groove on. Check Lime-Light and you may see my ass at Kitson beating down HoHan with a Team Aniston t-shirt. So if you don't hear from my ass have a hot Labor Day!

xoxoxoMichael K

Orlando Bloom's got a pudge!

This is because of the gays!

This group calling themselves Columbia Christians for Life are happy Hurricane Katrina has struck New Orleans! Ya see Southern Decadence was supposed to happen this weekend in New Orleans. Southern Decadence is one of the biggest gay events in the country bringing in nearly $100 Million to New Orleans. So, this one group doesn't think it's a coincidence that Katrina struck when she did.

They said: "Although the loss of lives is deeply saddening, this act of God destroyed a wicked city. From 'Girls Gone Wild' to 'Southern Decadence,' New Orleans was a city that had its doors wide open to the public celebration of sin. May it never be the same."

These bitches are sniffing Courtney Love's air. They are wacko! I hope a hurricane strikes their asses soon!

I haven't talked about Katrina at all except for calling Courtney Love, Katrina. But this shit sucks and even though I have a stone cold heart I feel for all those people that are suffering. Some of the pictures are funny, but I'm insensitive. So I apologize for that, because there's really nothing funny about it.

OMG, it's official. I'm a Lifetime watching woman!

[Blog Critics]

Guess the Celebrity?

UPDATE - Click here to see the owner of this snout!

Jordan the children's designer!

My current favorite Jordan is planning to design her own children's line for big kids. Why? Because her son Harvey suffers from a hormone imbalance that makes him grow faster than usual. He currently wears clothes for 12-year-olds. Harvey is hot shit and you bitches better not talk bad about his ass! Ok you can.

Jordan said: "Harvey is really hard to buy for because he needs stuff for 12-year-olds. The problem is, a lot of it isn't suitable for him. So I have to do a lot of hunting around. We're not the only family with this problem, which is why I'd like to have a go at designing some clothes. I think it's something that could really take off."

Yes Jordan is to blame for Harvey's condition, because she drugged and boozed her way through pregnancy but she's still a saint! Viva Saint Jordan!


Christina Ricci is a hunchback!

Christina Ricci spent a day at the beach with some chocolate cake and a diet coke. Because if you indulge on cake, you totally need to have a diet coke instead of a regular! Stand up straight bitch!


Vivica is Star's bitch!

Did anyone catch Vivica Fox on Jimmy Kimmel last night? Apparently she went ape shit on his ass when he joked about her friend Star "The Body" Jones. Jimmy made fun of Star in his opening monologue targeting her weight and her marriage to Gal Reynolds. But when Vivica sat down for her interview, things turned ugly. Vivica was one of Star's bridesmaids at her wedding to Gal. Jimmy continued to make fun of star at which Vivica responded with:

"We're off to a bad start... Maybe this will be on one of those DVDs 20 years from now. Great uncomfortable moments. We usually have really great comical moments, but that's my friend and I love her... It's not funny to me, so let's start over."
When Jimmy suggested that Vivie, Star and Gal should get together that's when Vivica turned ugly:

"You would get your ass kicked... I would have to take off my shoe and beat you down, brother!"

Vivica then walked off the set and the camera focused on her empty chair. Damn! Who saw this shit!?

[NY Daily News]

Mimi almost burned alive!

was taking a lil' nap last week in her Bel-Air home when a fire broke out unbeknownst to the beautiful songbird! According to sources Mimi was wakened by firefighters and rushed from her burning home before being burned alive!

A source revealed: "The firemen had to wake Mariah from a deep sleep to get her out of the burning room. .

"Fortunately the fire was quickly extinguished before it could spread to other rooms and do serious damage." .

But others are saying the story has been exaggerated and only a small fire broke out due to electrical problems and nobody was hurt.

I can totally see Mimi fleeing from her mansion in a marabou robe and silver slippers!

[Female First]

Battle for Lana!

Sharon Stone is raving mad because she insists Lana Turner wanted her to play Lana Turner before she died! But a new film has Catherine Zeta-Jones playing Lana Turner opposite Keanu Reeves. Sharon ain't having that shit!

She said: "I met Lana in her final years and liked her a great deal. She was every inch the great movie star and we got along really well." . "She said if there was a film to be made on her life, then I was her choice." .

Sharon, that bitch was probably drugged up! She wasn't in her right mind! She probably thought that you were Betty Rubble! Now that would be a hot Lana Turner!

[Ireland On-Line]

Scarlett Johansson is either blind or disgusting!

This is Scarlett: "Woody Allen is sexier than my boyfriend Josh Hartnett. He is the sexiest man in Hollywood."

This is Me: "You have a grandaddy complex"

This is Scarlett: "Duh!"

This is Me: "Ewww"

Can you believe that stupid cunt said that Woody Allen was the sexiest man in Hollywood?!? Maybe Hollywood BLVD, but that ain't saying much. I hope she's joking, because Woody Allen looks like a snail who has had too much salt poured on it!

[Female First]

Madge hawking Motorola

Madonna has begun filming a new commercial for Motorola hawking a new phone with a built in iPod. Madge apparently received $2 Million for the commercial which also includes Iggy Pop and possibly some other rock stars. The commercial features Madge riding a horse and breaking every bone in her body while rocking to an iPod! Just kidding, it features her in some box, blah blah blah..

Hmm, looks like Little Miss English Riding Lady is well enough to film a commercial. I thought this bitch was supposed to be in pain. I guess $2 Million can knock the pain right outta ya!


HoHan's Dickmatized!

Jared Leto's band 30 Seconds to Mars played NYC's Hammerstein Ballroom on Tuesday night and Miss Slutty herself HoHan was there. HoHan forced her bodyguard to push his way through the crowd of people so she could get to the front and gaze at Jared. After they finished playing, HoHan rushed backstage to be with Jared and then they left for the after-party and were together all night.

Damn, first Scarlett can't keep away and now HoHan. He must be packing large like people say or have some really good coke connections.

[Page Six]

When are these bitches finally going away!

Destiny's Child seems to be performing every GD day in some fucked up dress with some cheap ass hair! When are they finally breaking up? Didn't they announce that shit ten years ago or something? They are fucking with us, I know it! This is all a gimmick to get more fags and more 12 year-old girls to see their "Farewell Tour." Yeah farewell in a Cher kind of way!

P.S. - I think Beyonce wore this same dress at the VMAs on Sunday. They must be broke, so they had to butcher that dress to make 3. How embarrassing!

A 45 Year-Old Brit Brit does Elle

World renowned photographer Gilles Bensimon (according to Tyra Banks) shot a preggers Brit Brit for Elle. I don't know about you, but this looks like shit. She straight up looks like she strolled into the mall and got some glamour shots for $20 a sheet. And she totally looks like a soccer mom! And not in a good way!


Timberlake thugs out!

Alpha Dog

When a young drug dealer by the name of Johnny Truelove kidnaps Zack Mazursky, the fifteen-year-old brother of a man in debt to him, things don’t go according to plan. As he desperately tries to get the money owed to him, Johnny’s crew looks after Zack. Though a hostage, Zack is enjoying the excitement of his situation, blissfully unaware of the despair of his parents, the rage of his brother and also of the fatal conclusion that awaits him.
Inspired by a true story, ALPHA DOG is a moving and tragic drama centred on the three fateful days when the lives of a few suburban kids were turned upside down forever.

[Latino Review]

The Dlisted Report

Geoffrey Rush and Clive Owen have officially signed up for The Golden Age which is a sequel to 1998's Elizabeth. Cate Blanchett will repeat her role as Queen Elizabeth and Shekhar Kapur will again direct. Shooting begins April. [Variety]

Jessica Alba will go the indie route in Awake. The story focuses on a man who suffers "anesthetic awareness" and finds himself awake and aware, but paralyzed, during surgery. His young wife (Jessica) must wrestle with her own demons as a drama unfolds around them. Hayden Christensen and Sigourney Weaver will also star. Shooting begins this October in New York. [Variety]

Michael Ball will repeat his London role in The Woman in White on Broadway this fall. Michael will again don a fat suit and tons of make-up for the role of Count Fosco. [Broadway]


"I'm a rootin tooting cowboy,
from Harvard and Yale I come
I've never done,
a day's work in my life
Them Iraqi's- I got me some.
Your vote doesn't count,
Religion's my game
Dibold helped me out.
First the country,
Then the world.
All you liberals sit and pout." - Mike V

Hot Slut of the Day!

Snow Urbin

Birthday Sluts

Scott Speedman (30)
Tempestt Bledsoe (33)
Lily Tomlin (66)
Yves Saint-Laurent (70)
Yvonne De Carlo (83)

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Free at Last!

Martha Stewart will get to take off that super hot, but annoying ankle bracelet at 12:05am tonight! The poor thing has been confined to her luxurious 153-acre estate for 5 months plus 3 extra weeks. Martha will hand over the bracelet to authorities tomorrow.

Watch out world, Martha is now free to bitch you out on YOUR turf!


Top 15 Hot Cartoon Sluts of the 80s!

Lahoma00 here to take you through the top 15 hot cartoon sluts of the 1980s!

Click here to see the list!

#15 Madame Razz (She-Ra: Princess of Power)

Madame Razz always reminded me of Valerie Harper or Madge, the Palmolive lady who told you how well Palmolive cleaned your dishes AND your hands. Razz was that stupid bitch who was always fucking up her spells and talked like an old lady from New York. Here Madame Razz is seen causing disaster, as well as with her lovable companion Broom, who was a homosexual. Madame Razz was a fag hag!

Image hosted by TinyPic.comImage hosted by TinyPic.com

#14 Lady Jaye (GI Joe: A Real American Hero)

Image hosted by TinyPic.com

Lady Jaye was fucking hot! This bitch could kick your ass with her fists, a gun, or her javelin. In one episode she beat somebody with a purse! My favorite episode was where she and the Baroness got kidnapped; they beat a bunch of robots while Lady Jaye was wearing business casual and Baroness was in a bikini!

Image hosted by TinyPic.com

Here is Lady Jaye with her boyfriend Flint, but it was all a cover because we know she was a dyke. That’s why she was little boys favorite because she was basically a guy herself! She wanted to fuck Cover Girl!

#13 Woolma Lamb (The Get Along Gang)

Image hosted by TinyPic.com

Woolma was the snotty bitch of this group, always acting prissy and coming her hair. Once I was in a green room of a talk show and Joan Collins was there, primping and looking in the mirror. She reminded me of this bitch.

#12 Melodia (Silverhawks)

Melodia was one in a long string of MTV inspired cartoon characters. All Melodia did was shriek a lot and play really shitty guitar in outer space. But her hair was hot! Glynne Headley would play her in the movie.

#11 LaLa Orange (Rainbow Brite)

Image hosted by TinyPic.com

Look at this slut! She thought she was a fucking French lady with her beret but she’s nothing but a Parisian whore! She was always winking and trying to suck Red Butler’s dick!

#10 Carla (Kidd Video)

Kidd Video was seriously one of the hottest cartoons around: Four kids (including Cousin Oliver from the Brady Bunch) get sucked into a cartoon where they play rock n’ roll and run away from Master Blaster and his psycho cats! Carla was the Apollonia/Sheena Easton/Vanity wannabe. She was so hot because she said was from East L.A.. and always wore her t-shirt with the shoulder exposed. I think she was a shitty singer!

#9 Jacqueline Stallone

Image hosted by TinyPic.com

She wasn’t in a cartoon but look at this bitch! She’s cazy!

#8 Pizzaz (Jem)

Image hosted by TinyPic.com

How can this slut not be on it? Pizzaz was always trying to fuck with Jem’s career, causing destruction and chaos wherever she went. She was especially hot because her birth name was PHYLLIS GABOR. I loved when this bitch would try to steal Jem’s boyfriend, Eric. She thought she was so fucking sexy, but she looks like an alligator on crack!

Image hosted by TinyPic.com

#7 Nanny (Muppet Babies)

Image hosted by TinyPic.com

Nanny had the hottest legs in show business! You never saw this slut, but you know that she resembled Polly Holliday or Barbara Billingsley.

#6 Brittany (Alvin and the Chipmunks)

Image hosted by TinyPic.com

Brittany was hot because she wore Danskins and acted like a bitch all the time! What few of you sluts realize is that Brittany is single handedly responsible for the creation of Brittany Spears! Look at how Brit Brit was influenced by her.

The only difference was, Brittany was never pregnant white trash!

#5 Crasher (Challenge of the GoBots)

For so many years I thought Crasher was a gay guy. Then I realized he was a she! But it’s a thin line anyway, isn’t it bitches? Anyway, Crasher sort of looks like Pete Burns and has a British accent. She always would laugh hysterically after stepping on people and causing destruction, like she was having an orgasm. She was the first 80s cartoon character into S&M!

Image hosted by TinyPic.com

#4 Cheetara (Thundercats)

Aside from beating people’s asses with her hot staff, Cheetara was a fucking porn star! Look at this picture from the first episode!

You can see her tits! I remember this freaked me out as a kid. It was the same sort of fascination and feeling when you’re doing something you are not supposed to, like looking at a copy of your brother’s (or mother's) issue of Hustler. I think her tits freaked so many kids out that they became fags! Holy shit, the right wing needs to start blaming Cheetara for gay marriage!

#3 Catra (She-Ra: Princess of Power)

How could we not include this bitch? She was always trying to defeat She-Ra but would always end up in a puddle of water or something. Catra was so hot because, despite being able to turn into a cat herself, she used to get carted around by her cat Clawdeen. The bitch is so self-entitled!

Image hosted by TinyPic.com

When you’d buy the action figure it described her as a “jealous beauty.” A few years ago some friends and I were going to start a band called CATRA: JEALOUS BEAUTY! Our first album was going to be called “Anxiety and Falcon Crest.” How hot would this whore be on the cover?

Image hosted by TinyPic.com

#2 Evil Lyn (He-Man and the Masters of the Universe)

Image hosted by TinyPic.com

The mother of all bitches! Every little boy was scared of her, unless they were gay in which case they wanted to be her! Evil-Lyn was Skeletor’s bitch but she really ran the roost. She always reminded me of Linda Dano. Look, isn’t the resemblance clear? Actually, Linda Dano sort of looks like Gozar from Ghostbusters.

Evil-Lyn is the only person on our list to be featured on the big screen in form of none other than the extremely scary MEG FOSTER. Meg, of course, is best known for her creepy eyes, Beverly D’Angelo wannabe look and for getting her ass fired from the Cagney and Lacey pilot! She’s so hot in the Masters of the Universe movie because she is a galatic conqueror and at one point kicks Courtney Cox’s ass!

#1 Bianca Dupree (Beverly Hills Teens)

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Holy shit! The choice was clear—Bianca is #1! Beverly Hills Teens was a ridiculous cartoon from 1987 about super rich teens that all hung out at a country club and dated each other. Despite being loaded, they all wore the same fucking clothes everyday! Bianca was the rich bitch of the group and was so hot! She had a dog Fifi and a chauffeur Wilshire that loved her ass but she treated him like shit!

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Bianca was always scheming to break up supercouple Troy and Lark and get Troy for herself. Seen her is that trifecta of power, along with some irritating short kid.

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When I first met Michael K, one of the first things we talked about was how hot Bianca was! It bonded us forever. This is for you Michael K—long live Bianca!

Michael K on MySpace

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