Dlisted: 08/21/2005 - 08/28/2005

Saturday, August 27, 2005

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!



As part of her USO show Hillary Duff brings a troop up on stage with her and allows him to ride her bareback. - Lori

Hot Slut of the Day!



Butterbean!

[For Liz]

Birthday Sluts



Jonny Moseley (30)
Alexa Vega (17)
Sarah Chalke (29)
Mase (31)
Mario (33)
Downtown Julie Brown (42)
Yolanda Adams (43)
Peter Stormare (52)
Pee Wee Herman (53)

Friday, August 26, 2005

Romjin Lettuce and The Klum

What the hell is Klum wearing? Flapper's were never pregnant! And Romjin Lettuce looks puffy. God I'm bitchy, I need to take a nap!

Guess the Celebrity?



UPDATE - Click here to see the owner of this mouth!

She probably sucked on something else later that night!

That Knoxville is a slut! He left with that slut and another chick!

This is the hottest couple in Hollyweird!

Jordan Wedding Watch: 15 Days to go!

My new favorite piece of trash Jordan and her equally trashy fiancee Peter Andre are getting married on September 10th in Berkshire, England. This is set to be the wedding of the year! Or something like that. The latest gossip is who is going to be one of Jordan's bridesmaids! I could only hope for Posh, but I'm not going to hold my breath!

Jordan has already asked Girls Aloud singer Sarah Harding and also Atomic Kitten's Kerry Katona. I know we don't know who any of these sluts are, but I can surely envision their Euro trash asses!

Jordan and Peter also don't want to break their six-figure deal with an unknown magazine, so all guests will be frisked for camera and cell phones!

This wedding is going to out trash Brit Brit's in so many ways! Harvey better be flower boy or there's going to be hell to pay!

[Ananova]

People from Texas don't get eating disorders!

Jessica Simpson is a Grade A dingbat! She has slammed rumors that she's anorexic, because she insists people from Texas don't get those types of problems.

She said: "I'm not anorexic. I'm from Texas."

"Are there people from Texas who are anorexic? I've never heard of one and that includes me."

[Contact Music]


Wood gets Wood watching Lost

This is Elijah Wood:

"I watched the Lost series in the US and it's great.

"I'm proud of Dominic. We're good friends."

This is Me:

"Jigga please! You bitches are fucking!"

[Contact Music]

MK is CK

Calvin Klein has put out an offer to Mary-Kate Olsen to be the new skeleton of Calvin Klein. She would follow in the steps of another waif, Kate Moss. Mary-Kate isn't sure she's going to take the offer?

Why not Ashley? Ashley is soooo much hotter than MK!

[Female First]

Mos Def is Mos Slutty

Who knew that Mos Def has 5 kids from 5 different women?! That he knows of. Damn, that's ghetto! That reminds me of some of my family members! They so ghetto, they have 3 kids from 4 different fathers! Anyhow, not only that but Mos may be married to 2 different chicks!

Apparently, Mos married his second wife only a few days after knowing her ass. Well, at least she's getting paid!

[Page Six]

Just stick your finger in a bit!

Xtina and her beau Jordy are getting a little afternoon squeeze in at a recent visit to a park. Damn, she has some nice buns.



Now let's eat some pizza!

You stupid bitch, they're still getting pictures of you!

What in all that is Whitney is going with HoHan?! She looks like a straight-up 56yo woman from the 1970s and folks that isn't cute! And straining your hand by lifting your bag in front of you goes to waste when there's photogs on either side of you. But you know she loves it as much as we do :)



Rock Star

Portman's got a mohawk! Not so fucking bad, I guess. Here she is in Madrid with the very delicious, Javier Bardem. They aren't screwing, not with that mohawk anyway.







[JJB]

R.I.P. Rachel from Big Brother



Rachel's Bio


Hot Slut of the Day!



Shirley Bassey

Birthday Sluts



Macaulay Culkin (25)
Thalia (33)
Shirley Manson (39)
Wanda De Jesus (45)

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Surprise Surprise...

Tom Cruise used to love to dress in women's clothes. Used to? Yeah right. Apparently when Tom was younger he used to love to dress in gorgeous gowns and make-up for his friends. His childhood friend said: "He would startle people by dressing up as a woman for costume parties at Halloween.

"Even when we just got together to goof around he'd put on make-up and a dress just to shock everyone." .

Tom also loved running down the street nekkid. He added: : "One night we dared him to take off his clothes and streak down the street. "He could run as fast as anyone in those days and he was doing well until a police patrol car caught him in his headlights."

He forgot to mention that Tom also used to love being the bukkake bucket at parties!

The Sun posted pics of Tom dressed as Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz in this morning's edition, but they aren't online yet!

[The Sun]

UPDATE!

Thanks to the super hot What the....? here are the pics! God, he makes a gorgeous girl. What kind of Dorothy is that? He doesn't even have the right oufit. He's a shameful drag queen!

[Pics: A Mind is a Terrible Thing]


Guess the Celebrity?



UPDATE - Click Here to see the owner of this beautiful smile!

Yay or Nay?

Jack Osbourne has been out and about lately now that he's not a fat fuck anymore. He's probably getting a lot of action with the ladies. I can't decide whether I think he's hot or not. I mean he's def hotter than before, but that ain't saying much!

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!



Kitty thinks to herself, "Why must he insist on cuddling after sex? I'm gonna miss Animal Planet if he doesn't let me go soon." - Anonymous 1:37pm



[Thanks to Lookee for pic]

A real star remembers the model of her car even in panic mode!



Scarlett's call to 911 after a car accident occurred involving the paparazzi near Disneyland.

Dispatcher: 911
Johansson: Hi, we've just gotten into a car accident, um, we're way in Disneyland Drive.
Dispatcher: You're at Disneyland Drive and where?
Johansson: Uh, Disneyland Drive right on the entrance to the 5 Freeway.
Dispatcher: Are you actually on the on-ramp or are you right before...
Johansson: No, actually we pulled off to the side but, unfortunately, we have a bunch of paparazzi cars also following us.
Dispatcher: Why?
Johansson: I'm Scarlett Johansson, an actor. They've been following me all the way here. But we've gotten into an accident - not with the paparazzi but with a woman behind us.
Dispatcher: Ok. Are you actually...so everyone's on the right shoulder?
Johansson: Yeah, we're on the shoulder.
Dispatcher: And no one's hurt?
Johansson: I'm sorry? No one's hurt - no.
Dispatcher: And, Miss Johansson, what kind of vehicle are you in?
Johansson: I'm in a Mercedes CLK 500.
Dispatcher: What color is it?
Johansson: Black.
Dispatcher: And the other vehicle - do you know what it is?
Johansson: I'm sorry?
Dispatcher: The other vehicle - do you know what it is?
Johansson: The other vehicle is a [calls to other driver] what kind of a vehicle do you have? A green [to other driver] what is it? [to dispatcher] A Daewoo.
Dispatcher: Daewoo - ok. And about the media - are they starting to, are they starting to cause problems?
Johansson: They're pulled all around is, waiting for us to...
Dispatcher: Gotcha. Ok, I'm going to go ahead and start a unit - and I'm going to roll a couple of them out there, ok Miss Johansson?
Johansson: Thank you very much.
Dispatcher: You're welcome, ma'am. Bye.
Johansson: Bye bye.

Wouldn't you just say..I'm in a black car?

[Pic: JustJared]

I see London, I see France...

[Click on pics to see larger]





[Oh No They Didn't]

Ghost Writers Unite



Richie's debut novel The Truth About Diamonds is due to hit stores August 30th. This bitch didn't write this, come on! It's basically some fiction novel about her life, blah, blah, blah...! Boring, we want to see the cat fight with Paris Hilton not this shit!

[Harper Collins]

Neither is Singing bitch!

Remember I posted an article about how Posh was offered a role in Michelle Pfeiffer's new flick I Could Never Be Your Woman? I posted that producers offered to build a role around her and that Posh claims Michelle begged her ass to be in the movie! Well, Posh has decided that acting isn't for her.

A source closed to her said: "Victoria was extremely flattered when the producers said they were desperate to sign her up.

"Tom Cruise always said he planned to make her a huge movie star and he's obviously been having words in influential ears."

They offered her any part she wanted or said they would write her into the script. The source added: "To say that it was an incredible opportunity is an understatement.

"But she came to the conclusion that, nice as it was to be asked, putting herself up against Hollywood heavyweights wasn't something she was interested in."

Please, they never offered her shit! But Posh is a smart bitch. Why work if you don't have to? Just like Angie, Posh wears the dick in that family. I say, just sit by the pool and spend your husband's money. That's the way life should be!

[Ananova]


You got to have a J-O-B if you want to be with me!

Has dead beat dad of the year, Kevin Federline finally got off his lazy ass and got himself a job? Apparently, Kfed is working as a dance instructor at Darrin Henson's dance studio in Los Angeles. Kfed is also currently working on his debut album.

He didn't get no job. He's not stupid. Now that he has federfetus, he never has to work again in his life! He's got Britney whipped, the way Angie's got Brad whipped!

[Ananova]

Jealous Much?

Rachel Hunter is hating on Teri Snatcher by saying she looks old, because of her weight loss. Rachel is just jealous, because she wants to be that thin!

Rachel said:"Catherine Deneuve once said that as a woman gets older, she has to choose between her face and her bottom - I'd choose my face within two seconds.

"When women get too skinny, like Teri Hatcher, it shows on their faces and ages them."

Rachel is also jealous, because Teri Snatcher is a hit show and she doesn't have to humiliate herself by dancing around in a dress that is 3 sizes too small! Or dress as Ginger from Gilligan's Island!

[Contact Music]

The Dlisted Report

ER Star Goran Visnjic has been confirmed as a possible contender to play James Bond in Casino Royale. Production is set to begin very soon and casting should be announced shortly. Martin Campbell will direct. [TV Guide]

Sandra Bullock has signed on to star in Premonition. The film revolves around a woman who has a premonition that her husband will die in a car crash and sets out to prevent it. Shooting begins this January in Louisiana. [Variety]

Anthony Hopkins has signed on to Bobby, a political drama directed by Emilio Estevez. The film, written and to be directed by Estevez, revisits the night Robert F. Kennedy was gunned down at the Ambassador Hotel in 1968. The story is about how the lives of those at the hotel that evening intersected. Demi Moore is in talks to join the cast. [Variety]

For all of you that have been waiting. The Brokeback Mountain trailer is finally online! Let the jacking begin! [Dark Horizons]

This bitch is whipped!

Brad Pitt is temporarily moving to the East Coast for two months after Labor Day so he can be closer to that man-eater Angie Jolie! Angie is currently filming The Good Shepard around NYC and Brad of course wants to be close to his hubby! He is renting a mansion in Southampton.

Damn, Angie is honestly spending zero dollars! She moved into Brad's house in Malibu and now even though SHE'S filming a movie in the East Coast, he's renting the house!

This bitch needs to quit movie-making and teach a class on how to be a successful home-wrecking, gold digging vixen!

[Page Six]

Page Six Blind Items..You Guess...I Guess..

WHICH sexy songbird is getting much more than security from her two massive bodyguards?

I say: Xtina

WHICH hip-hop producer's wife discovered him having a torrid affair with a man-eating indie actress? The rap royal's wife has been phoning in death threats to his mistress for weeks?

I say: Russell Simmons & Kimora Lee Simmons

WHICH cable star has a gambling problem? The youngster, who has had brushes with the law in the past, is a regular at several illegal, all-night poker tournaments around town?

I say: Robert Iler

WHICH skirt-chasing actor recently performed a lewd act in front of a comely young lass he met at an L.A. nightclub?

I say: Colin Farrell

[Page Six]


The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!!



Ayy thank god for this joint. Is no easy being Britney's maid. Her husband is berry berry dirty. - JPonline

R.I.P. Deanna from Rock Star: INXS



Deanna's Bio

Hot Slut of the Day!



Karen Black

Birthday Sluts



Sean Connery (75)
Rachel Bilson (24)
Cameron Mathison (36)
Blair Underwood (41)
Billy Ray Cyrus (44)
Tim Burton (47)
Elvis Costello (51)
David Canary (67)
Regis Philbin (74)

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Where has this crackhead been hiding?

I have been missing one of my favorite crackheads. But here she is and looking hot! Brittany Murphy has actually never looked better with this hair color. Even with those fake eyelashes.





[Lime-Light]

A shitty way to go!

A Hollywood movie producer and his young daughter were found dead in their car at a gas station in Clearlake Oaks, CA. The case has puzzled investigators for over a month, but it looks like the truth has finally been revealed!

Terry Carr, the movie producer was found hunched over his daughter in the car. And after an autopsy it was revealed that Terry died of cardiac dysrhythmia, or an irregular heart rhythm, brought on by an enlarged heart. Investigators say that during his heart attack, his daughter was asleep. He then fell onto her and died. Terry was 212 pounds and his daughter was only 57 pounds, so she was suffocated and died!

Oh shit no! I would never forgive my father if he did that to me!

[Record-Bee]

This bitch next to Mandy Moore is seriously hot!

Guess the Celebrity?



UPDATE - Click here to see the owner of this smile!

Victoria Gotti just got her one-way ticket to Hell!

A few days ago Victoria Gotti said she had breast cancer and was battling it and doing fine. And now comes news that the bitch lied! How the fuck do you lie about having cancer. I've done some low things in my life, but that takes the cake! She apparently also lied about having a heart attack and getting a law degree.

What a GD lying bitch!

Matthew Rich, Victoria's publicist, quit because his best friend's mother died of breast cancer and he refused to lie for her. A source says that Victoria came up with the lie to help promote the 3rd season of her reality show Growing Up Gotti.

Victoria was quoted as saying: "The day I got my mammogram and the doctor told me I had breast cancer, it was in mid-November. I had a little pity party for myself and I cried all day . . . I lost 25 pounds . . . I was so exhausted, I could barely lift my arms."

But on Monday night's The Big Idea she changed her tune and said:
"What I had can be described as a scare,"

This bitch is nuts and I hope her career plummets! OMG, I think a hit was just put on my life! Cement shoes here I come!

[Page Six]


Another GD Celebrity Clothing Line!

Justin Timberlake is looking to make some extra bucks by starting his own clothing line with friend Trace Ayala. The brand will be called William Rast after both of their grandfathers.

Justin said: "This clothing is representative of where we come from - it's sort of country, but it's also got a little edge and a little chic to it."

Actually, I think the working title Wigger didn't fly with executives.

[Ananova]

MILFs on Vacay!

These pics are a few weeks old, but I can never get enough of Posh! Here she is on vacay in St. Tropez. I think Paris Hilton learned to pose from Posh.



Quick somebody push her!



And introducing Louis Vuitton's latest bag....



[Lime-Light]



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