Dlisted: 07/31/2005 - 08/07/2005

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Anna Nicole...

This HAS to be photoshopped..right?

[Pic: Aftonbladet]

Another one bites the dust!

Nicole Murphy has filed for divorce from her husband Eddie Murphy after 12 years of marriage. The two have 5 children and Nicole is asking for custody as well as spousal support. The reason for divorce, irreconcilable differences as always.

Remember when Eddie was caught with a tranny-hooker? That was some funny shit.



Following a secret "cleansing ritual", fellow Scientologists Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Giovanni Ribisi, & John Travolta consult the color coded Dianetics Map for their next assignment. - Pandemonium

Paula Abdul won't be dancing!

Paula Abdul was due to make several appearances on Fox's So You Think You Can Dance. But now she won't be, because she's too busy molesting Idol contestants. She's actually too busy promoting the Idol DVD and working on the new season. So she is back for more American Idol? Last time I checked there were talked about firing her ass.

Producers said: "respect Paula's decision to step away." "We wish her all the best and look forward to working with her soon,"

And they are breathing a sigh of relief, because all the boys in the cast are safe now. From her anyway.


Hot Slut of the Day!

Margaret Roach

For Miss Ginger

Birthday Sluts

Geri Haliwell (33)
Adrianne Curry (23)
Melissa George (29)
Soleil Moon Frye (29)
Asia Carerra (32)
M. Night Shyamalan (35)
Michelle Yeoh (43)
Catherine Hicks (54)

Friday, August 05, 2005

Spot the wax figure of Jessica Simpson!

I bet you can't!

Attack of the Clones!

Thanks to Renovatorbear!

Hot Slut of July: ANGELYNE!

With nearly 50% of your votes, Angelyne has won Dlisted's Hot Slut of July!

Visit her Website

Congratulations to Seth for Winning Kept!

Speaking of Faces of Death...


Paris Hilton drops it like it's hot!

Maybe she's picking up her dignity?

No, she's posing. As usual...

Mr. Paris got a dye job, I see. He so doesn't want to kiss her. You know she has stank breath.

Yup and Tara's still drunk...

And more drunk...


Reese on Jessica: Grow up!

Reese Witherspoon is disgusted by Jessica Simpson's behavior. Being a fellow blonde she believes that whole dumb blonde thing is pathetic.

Reese said: "Creating a cultural icon out of someone who goes, 'I'm stupid, isn't it cute?' makes me want to throw daggers. I want to say to them, 'My Grandma did not fight for what she fought for, just so you can start telling women it's fun to be stupid.'"

Reese is also pissed about chicks who bare it for their art:
"What gets me is how many women - young women - give up their power and their sense of self.

"Thinking they're going to get more out of life if they take off their clothes and objectify themselves, instead of functioning on the principle that they're smart and capable, that you can be an actress and not be on the covers of T+A magazines. I'm flabbergasted by how many legitimate actresses do that. It blows my mind.'"

[Contact Music]

Damn, this sunglasses thing is out of control!

They are covering half of her face!

She should just get one of these already!

The Grim Reaper is coming for me!!!!

I know I'm sick, but now I know I must be near death... here comes the grim reaper! No Jesus don't take me!!! And in white shoes nonetheless! This grim reaper is tricky!

What is Jessica drinking?

And don't any of you say jizz! (But you know it is).

Sienna's Factory

The cast is shaping up for Sienna Miller's Factory Girl where she plays Edie Segwick. So far Guy Pearce seems quite likely to play Andy Warhol, Gwen Stefani is in talks to play Edie's lesbian roommate Richie Berlin and Gavin Rossdale will play Gerard Malanga.

I guess Gwen's horrendous Aviator reviews didn't stall her. Did anybody see her in that shit? I heard she was like a cartoon character. Shooting begins soon on this shit.


Who would marry this bitch?

Jennifer Wilbanks aka The Runaway Bride strolled into her local Pottery Barn recently to update her bridal registry. Does this mean that poor sap she left practically at the alter is going to marry her after all. He's just as crazy as she is!

[Page Six]

Guess the Page Six Blind Items!

WHICH magazine editor nicknamed "the human speed bump" for his ponderous style is moving to L.A. to work for a TV channel? The married exec won't be missed by the co-worker who was horrified one Valentine's Day to receive a dozen roses with the message "Will you be my Valentine?"

WHICH closeted leading man is smitten with a very hunky — but sadly straight — production assistant on the set of his new movie? The star keeps meeting the poor aide at the door of his trailer dressed only in a small towel and visibly aroused.

[Page Six]

Charlize Theron set to become a wife!

Rumors are that Charlize Theron will marry her longtime beau Stuart Townsend this summer. Those two have been dating for 4 months solid. It looks like they will wed at Charlize's Malibu mansion.

Remember when she dated Stephan Jenkins? He was so weird!

UPDATE - 4 years sorry, I'm sick!

[Female First]

This one's gonna suck...right?

Under the Weather

Hi Y'all,

I'm feeling under the weather today. I will be posting but on and off so bear with me. I think that sneaky bitch Naomi Campbell poisoned me again!

Hugs and Gagging,

Michael K


Britneys underwater birth instructor shows her the birthing pool she'll be using, Y'all. - Joy Division

R.I.P. Kaysar from Big Brother

Kaysar's Bio

Hot Slut of the Day!

T'Keyah Crystal Keymah

Birthday Sluts

Loni Anderson (59)
Johnathan Silverman (39)
Tawny Kitaen (44)
Pat Smear (46)
Faith Prince (48)
Maureen McCormick (49)
Erika Slezak (59)

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Knoxville, Howard Stern & The Lie Detector

• Is your real name Johnny? Johnny said yes, but that was a lie. He was actually given the first name Philip.

• Are you married? Johnny said yes, and he was truthful

• Are you happily married? Again, Johnny said yes, and again he was truthful.

• Did you have sex with Jessica Simpson? Johnny denied this, and he was truthful.

• Did you tongue-kiss Jessica Simpson? Johnny said no, but that may be a lie.

• Have you ever had sex with a farm animal? Johnny said no and that was the truth.

• Do you think Jessica Simpson’s an idiot? Johnny said no, but that was a lie.

• Have you ever used the term “nigger”? Johnny said yes and that was the truth. He explained he only uses the word when telling stories or jokes.

• Have you ever pleasured yourself thinking of Jessica Simpson? Johnny said no, but that was a lie.

[Oh No They Didn't]

We Belong Together!

Congratulations to Mimi for her 10th week at #1!

But if I hear that song one more fucking time I'm going to have to beat you down, lamb.

Santa, I'd like a Ryan Phillipe for Christmas this year!

Sluts on Parade!

Jessica Simpson and her soon-to-be-ex-husband Nick Lachey are still in NYC. Jessica and her tits made an apperance outside their hotel. And there's those ugly hooker shoes again! Even Nick hates those shoes!


When oral herpes touch!

This kiss look seriously akward. She's totally thinking about what she should wear tonight.

Aniston does the Fair

She's not the best looking girl out there. But she's got class and has a hot body...

Here's some pics of her in the September issue...


Club Hepatitis

Pamela Anderson will open a club in Las Vegas completely devoted to hepatitis..

OH I WISH! Half of that is true. Pammy is talking with her friend, photographer Dave LaChapelle about possibly putting together a night club in Sin City.

She said: "It's not a done deal, but Dave LaChapelle and I are probably opening up a club in Las Vegas.

"I've invested with a few friends."

Hmm...looks like mama needs new implants!


Posh is just like us!

Posh hates her body as much as all of us do. Actually, she doesn't. She is just saying this to get public sympathy!

She said: "There are loads of things I don't like about my body. I don't like my hair, my belly button, my stomach or my fingernails.

"Also I have no definition, probably from having babies. I could go to the gym but I haven't got the time or the energy."

She doesn't like her fingernails? Who the fuck says that? What's not to like about them. OMG, poor thing. She's crazy!


Either Chocolate, Charlie or Cheeto!

Brit Brit Spears was so inspired by watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory that she wants to name her baby Charlie if it's a boy. But Kbaby wants to name him Kevin Jr. if it's a boy. Brit Brit would love to name her kid Charlie if it's a boy or a girl. I must admit Charlie is a cute name for a girl, but telling you kid "We named you after this Johnny Depp movie" is pretty sad.

Brit Brit darling, I much prefer Cheeto! Or even Chocolate. We already have an Apple, let's get a chocolate and Brit Brit you're the one to do it! Because you could easily do it and get away with it. When somebody relatively smart would be chastised!

[Female First]

Anna Nicole's message to Colin

Anna Nicole Smith is apparently desperate to view the private sex tape of Colin Farrell, because she's heard he has a big schlong.

She says, "I can understand you don't want the world to see your tape. But what about a private screening for me?. "I'd like to find out if you really are Hollywood's biggest leading man. If you're interested, you know where to find me." .

Yeah please invite me to this screening as well. Anna Nicole and I are so shameless! Not to mention desperate!

[Female First]

Michael K on MySpace

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