Anna Nicole...

This HAS to be photoshopped..right?

[Pic: Aftonbladet]

Another one bites the dust!

Nicole Murphy has filed for divorce from her husband Eddie Murphy after 12 years of marriage. The two have 5 children and Nicole is asking for custody as well as spousal support. The reason for divorce, irreconcilable differences as always.

Remember when Eddie was caught with a tranny-hooker? That was some funny shit.

[Yahoo]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!

Following a secret "cleansing ritual", fellow Scientologists Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Giovanni Ribisi, & John Travolta consult the color coded Dianetics Map for their next assignment. - Pandemonium

Paula Abdul won't be dancing!

Paula Abdul was due to make several appearances on Fox's So You Think You Can Dance. But now she won't be, because she's too busy molesting Idol contestants. She's actually too busy promoting the Idol DVD and working on the new season. So she is back for more American Idol? Last time I checked there were talked about firing her ass.

Producers said: "respect Paula's decision to step away." "We wish her all the best and look forward to working with her soon,"

And they are breathing a sigh of relief, because all the boys in the cast are safe now. From her anyway.

[Yahoo]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Margaret Roach

For Miss Ginger

Birthday Sluts

Geri Haliwell (33)
Adrianne Curry (23)
Melissa George (29)
Soleil Moon Frye (29)
Asia Carerra (32)
M. Night Shyamalan (35)
Michelle Yeoh (43)
Catherine Hicks (54)

Spot the wax figure of Jessica Simpson!

I bet you can't!

Attack of the Clones!

Thanks to Renovatorbear!

Hot Slut of July: ANGELYNE!

With nearly 50% of your votes, Angelyne has won Dlisted's Hot Slut of July!

Visit her Website

Congratulations to Seth for Winning Kept!

Speaking of Faces of Death...

[HollywoodRag]

Paris Hilton drops it like it's hot!

Maybe she's picking up her dignity?



No, she's posing. As usual...




Mr. Paris got a dye job, I see. He so doesn't want to kiss her. You know she has stank breath.



Yup and Tara's still drunk...



And more drunk...



[Lime-Light]

Reese on Jessica: Grow up!

Reese Witherspoon is disgusted by Jessica Simpson's behavior. Being a fellow blonde she believes that whole dumb blonde thing is pathetic.

Reese said: "Creating a cultural icon out of someone who goes, 'I'm stupid, isn't it cute?' makes me want to throw daggers. I want to say to them, 'My Grandma did not fight for what she fought for, just so you can start telling women it's fun to be stupid.'"

Reese is also pissed about chicks who bare it for their art:
"What gets me is how many women - young women - give up their power and their sense of self.

"Thinking they're going to get more out of life if they take off their clothes and objectify themselves, instead of functioning on the principle that they're smart and capable, that you can be an actress and not be on the covers of T+A magazines. I'm flabbergasted by how many legitimate actresses do that. It blows my mind.'"

[Contact Music]

Damn, this sunglasses thing is out of control!

They are covering half of her face!



She should just get one of these already!

The Grim Reaper is coming for me!!!!

I know I'm sick, but now I know I must be near death... here comes the grim reaper! No Jesus don't take me!!! And in white shoes nonetheless! This grim reaper is tricky!

What is Jessica drinking?

And don't any of you say jizz! (But you know it is).

Sienna's Factory

The cast is shaping up for Sienna Miller's Factory Girl where she plays Edie Segwick. So far Guy Pearce seems quite likely to play Andy Warhol, Gwen Stefani is in talks to play Edie's lesbian roommate Richie Berlin and Gavin Rossdale will play Gerard Malanga.

I guess Gwen's horrendous Aviator reviews didn't stall her. Did anybody see her in that shit? I heard she was like a cartoon character. Shooting begins soon on this shit.

[Youthquaker]

Who would marry this bitch?

Jennifer Wilbanks aka The Runaway Bride strolled into her local Pottery Barn recently to update her bridal registry. Does this mean that poor sap she left practically at the alter is going to marry her after all. He's just as crazy as she is!

[Page Six]

Guess the Page Six Blind Items!

WHICH magazine editor nicknamed "the human speed bump" for his ponderous style is moving to L.A. to work for a TV channel? The married exec won't be missed by the co-worker who was horrified one Valentine's Day to receive a dozen roses with the message "Will you be my Valentine?"

WHICH closeted leading man is smitten with a very hunky — but sadly straight — production assistant on the set of his new movie? The star keeps meeting the poor aide at the door of his trailer dressed only in a small towel and visibly aroused.

[Page Six]

Charlize Theron set to become a wife!

Rumors are that Charlize Theron will marry her longtime beau Stuart Townsend this summer. Those two have been dating for 4 months solid. It looks like they will wed at Charlize's Malibu mansion.

Remember when she dated Stephan Jenkins? He was so weird!

UPDATE - 4 years sorry, I'm sick!

[Female First]

This one's gonna suck...right?

Under the Weather

Hi Y'all,

I'm feeling under the weather today. I will be posting but on and off so bear with me. I think that sneaky bitch Naomi Campbell poisoned me again!

Hugs and Gagging,

Michael K

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!!

Britneys underwater birth instructor shows her the birthing pool she'll be using, Y'all. - Joy Division

R.I.P. Kaysar from Big Brother

Kaysar's Bio

Hot Slut of the Day!

T'Keyah Crystal Keymah

Birthday Sluts

Loni Anderson (59)
Johnathan Silverman (39)
Tawny Kitaen (44)
Pat Smear (46)
Faith Prince (48)
Maureen McCormick (49)
Erika Slezak (59)

Knoxville, Howard Stern & The Lie Detector

• Is your real name Johnny? Johnny said yes, but that was a lie. He was actually given the first name Philip.

• Are you married? Johnny said yes, and he was truthful

• Are you happily married? Again, Johnny said yes, and again he was truthful.

• Did you have sex with Jessica Simpson? Johnny denied this, and he was truthful.

• Did you tongue-kiss Jessica Simpson? Johnny said no, but that may be a lie.

• Have you ever had sex with a farm animal? Johnny said no and that was the truth.

• Do you think Jessica Simpson’s an idiot? Johnny said no, but that was a lie.

• Have you ever used the term “nigger”? Johnny said yes and that was the truth. He explained he only uses the word when telling stories or jokes.

• Have you ever pleasured yourself thinking of Jessica Simpson? Johnny said no, but that was a lie.

[Oh No They Didn't]

We Belong Together!

Congratulations to Mimi for her 10th week at #1!



But if I hear that song one more fucking time I'm going to have to beat you down, lamb.

Santa, I'd like a Ryan Phillipe for Christmas this year!

Sluts on Parade!

Jessica Simpson and her soon-to-be-ex-husband Nick Lachey are still in NYC. Jessica and her tits made an apperance outside their hotel. And there's those ugly hooker shoes again! Even Nick hates those shoes!





[Lime-Light]

When oral herpes touch!

This kiss look seriously akward. She's totally thinking about what she should wear tonight.

Aniston does the Fair

She's not the best looking girl out there. But she's got class and has a hot body...

Here's some pics of her in the September issue...










[Jen-Fan]

Club Hepatitis

Pamela Anderson will open a club in Las Vegas completely devoted to hepatitis..

OH I WISH! Half of that is true. Pammy is talking with her friend, photographer Dave LaChapelle about possibly putting together a night club in Sin City.

She said: "It's not a done deal, but Dave LaChapelle and I are probably opening up a club in Las Vegas.

"I've invested with a few friends."

Hmm...looks like mama needs new implants!

[Ananova]

Posh is just like us!

Posh hates her body as much as all of us do. Actually, she doesn't. She is just saying this to get public sympathy!

She said: "There are loads of things I don't like about my body. I don't like my hair, my belly button, my stomach or my fingernails.

"Also I have no definition, probably from having babies. I could go to the gym but I haven't got the time or the energy."

She doesn't like her fingernails? Who the fuck says that? What's not to like about them. OMG, poor thing. She's crazy!

[Ananova]

Either Chocolate, Charlie or Cheeto!

Brit Brit Spears was so inspired by watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory that she wants to name her baby Charlie if it's a boy. But Kbaby wants to name him Kevin Jr. if it's a boy. Brit Brit would love to name her kid Charlie if it's a boy or a girl. I must admit Charlie is a cute name for a girl, but telling you kid "We named you after this Johnny Depp movie" is pretty sad.

Brit Brit darling, I much prefer Cheeto! Or even Chocolate. We already have an Apple, let's get a chocolate and Brit Brit you're the one to do it! Because you could easily do it and get away with it. When somebody relatively smart would be chastised!

[Female First]

Anna Nicole's message to Colin

Anna Nicole Smith is apparently desperate to view the private sex tape of Colin Farrell, because she's heard he has a big schlong.

She says, "I can understand you don't want the world to see your tape. But what about a private screening for me?. "I'd like to find out if you really are Hollywood's biggest leading man. If you're interested, you know where to find me." .

Yeah please invite me to this screening as well. Anna Nicole and I are so shameless! Not to mention desperate!

[Female First]

If I call you daddy...will I get more stuff?

Apparently Maddox Jolie has started calling Brad Pitt "Daddy." Brad and company were in Lancaster, CA filming a commercial for Edwin Jeans when Maddox started screeching "Where's my daddy!?!" Um, maybe he was talking about Angie? She's more of a daddy than Brad. He has zero balls. There are also rumors that Brad was only left off of adoption papers for Zahara because his divorce to Jennifer Aniston is not yet final.

I give Angie & Brad, one year and then DONE!

[Page Six]

The Dlisted Report

Warner Bros. will remake the French comedy Apres Vous for Billy Crystal. The original comedy revolves around a headwaiter of a Paris bistro who happens upon a stranger who is about to commit suicide. After intervening, the waiter befriends the saved man -- who promptly turns the waiter's life upside down. The French version is currently out in theaters. [Variety]

Greg Grunberg who plays Eric on Alias will leave the show this upcoming season. He wants to get more into comedy. Greg says that his exit from the show will no doubt be dramatic. [TV Guide]

According to comedian Charlie Murphy, The Chappelle Show is over and isn't coming back. ‘‘Chappelle’s Show is over, man. Done,’’ comic Charlie Murphy told TV Guide. ‘‘It took me a long time to be able to say those words, but I can say it pretty easy now, because it’s the truth.’’ [Brandon Sun]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!!

Samantha looked at her sister with hatred in her eyes. Her sister was the first in the family to make it to the tenth grade and the first to get a trailer. Now the bitch had a crown! - Anonymous 2:21pm

R.I.P. Tara from Rock Star: INXS

Tara's Bio

Hot Slut of the Day!

Janelle from Big Brother 6

Birthday Sluts

Cole & Dylan Sprouse (13)
Lauren Tom (44)
Billy Bob Thornton (50)

Someone shouted "FREE COKE"

And guess who looked up...



[Pic: Best Week Ever]

Sand in the Coochie

Jessica Alba was on the beach and looks like she got some sand stuck in that snatch. I must say, she's a bitch but so fucking hot. Look at her body, she's like perfection. I'm a fag and I'd still eat that cooch. Ewwww!!! Seriously, she's a tease. She knew they were taking pics of her, so she decided to show some crack. Even if it's sandy crack. Damn, I think I'm in love.

Bitches fly away and never come back!

Here's Brangelina getting in a plane and heading for heaven. You know Angelina wears the pants in that duo. She has him by the nuts. He will do whatever she says. I'm telling you between Angelina's vagina and Naomi Campbell's temper we are all in danger!

Charlie's Skanks

Damn, can you imagine the amount of coke that was snorted between these three. They are keeping some Colombian village alive!

Damn look at those knockers!

"Hey Kbabe, it's Bitty Bee, y'all they ran out of hot fries. You want tos instead? Ok Kbaby, I'll try Circle K. Like Circle Kevin, ehehhee...get it? Hello? Kbaby?"



"Y'all we gotta go to Circle Kevin. Damn my coochie be burning, I hope it ain't those damned warts again. Let me air that shit out."

Josh Duhamel makes Fergie wet her panties!

And me too!



[Lime-Light]

Get your finger out of my face you crazy bitch!

[Lime-Light]

MK and the Thong

Is this hot? Poor MK she can't go anywhere without some photog getting a pic of her ass hanging out. However she's like a zillionaire. So no I don't feel sorry for her!

Carmen and Max

Carmen Electra is the new face of Max Factor. She ain't looking fresh-faced to the world. Oh that's Cover Girl. Anyway, there's always been something off about her to me. I know some of you cunts like her so here she is...










[Oh No They Didn't]

Gisele shows her true latin roots!

Gisele Bundchen is convinced she has some kind of disease as she's obsessed with cleaning. You and me both, sweetie! Gisele and I are both the same in we love to clean and are obsessed with keeping things clean and spotless. But the difference is, I'm telling the truth and this bitch is lying!

She says, "I'm obsessed. I think I have a disease, actually... I always fire housekeepers. I don't even have one because I always have to clean after them because they always move things out of place and I get really like upset about it.
"I like everything clean. You can actually eat off the floor of my house, that's how clean my floors are. They're so clean because I clean them myself, so I know. "I've learned in life how to be a bit more patient with cleaning because in the past I used to go to people's houses and start like cleaning their dishes and organizing their house. People get offended. You arrive in their house and you're like cleaning everything. They're like, 'What's wrong with you?' "Now I've learned, with time, age... (that) I should leave people's houses the way they are because that's the way they like it. I'm just gonna clean my own house (now)."

I think it's a latin thing. We have maid blood running through our veins. But you know this bitch doesn't clean her house. Come on. I bet you if I asked this cunt what her favorite cleaning product was, she'd say Dream Angels by Victoria.

[Contact Music]

Jenna Jameson has lowered her standards

Jenna Jameson is a hot bitch and my 3rd favorite porn bitch of all-time. But this bitch is hitting an all-time low even for her. She's apparently going to make a porn movie with Mike Tyson! Ack! Mike Tyson is broke as a joke and needs fast cash!

Mike said: "I've talked to some people, I just talked to a gentleman named Jimmy, whose involved with Club Jenna, you know Jenna Jameson," said Tyson. "They said they were interested in getting me involved in that kind of business as well."

Apparently Mike is a sporting a 14incher. I don't give a fuck if his dick is 20-inches long and can do the ramba, that bitch is crazy! Mike Tyson and Naomi Campbell should do a porn together. Now that's something I wish. They'd be like two beta fishes in the same bowl!

[Softpedia]

Sienna Miller preggers with Jude spawn

Star Magazine is reporting that Sienna Miller is six weeks pregnant and Jude Law is her baby daddy. Two days before Jude's nanny fuck hit the papers, Sienna and Jude told their families that she was knocked up and they were going to be proud parents. Sienna is refusing to comment on claims that she has a bun in the oven.

The two have reportedly been on several secret meetings to discuss the future of their relationship. Eh, how does Sienna know Jude is the baby daddy? She's a hoochie as much as he is. Damn I hope it's Sean Penn's baby that will make for some good shit! You know Robin Wright is ghetto and will issue a beat down Naomi style on Sienna!

[Ireland Online]

Someone must stop her!

pictured above: Quincy Jones, Superbitch & Yvonne Scio

This is a note to anyone who comes across Naomi Campbell. Either run for your life in the opposite direction or shoot to kill! The megabitch has struck again! And this time she's struck Italian actress Yvonne Scio putting the bitch in the hospital! Yes, I can't make this shit up. Reports are that Yvonne and Naomi were getting ready in a Italian hotel room when Naomi flew into a fucking rage after seeing what Yvonne was wearing. The two got into a fight and Naomi put the beat down on Yvonne leaving her with a badly cut lip.

Yvonne filed a report with the police and now they want to speak with Crazy Naomi.

Yesterday a police spokesman, Domenico Condello, said: "I can confirm that an allegation of assault against Naomi Campbell has been made by Yvonne Scio. "She came to the police station and she had cuts to her lip and had been treated in hospital. She said that Naomi had insulted her and attacked her after an argument over some clothes she was wearing. "We have taken a full statement from Ms Scio and we will be checking her claims with Naomi Campbell."

This bitch is for real! Fuck Al Quadea, this bitch is the real threat!

[Scotsman]

7th Heaven

Mega-creep Robert Evans will wed yet another woman! The 73-yo producer is set to wed Lady Victoria White. I couldn't find any information on this bitch. The two are set to wed this Saturday in Cabo San Lucas. The two have only known each other for 3 months but that hasn't stopped Evans in the passed. He was famously married to Catherine Oxenberg for only 10 days.

Oooh the gossip I have on this bitch. He's crazy! And pictured about with him is director Brett Ratner who used to live in his guest house. These two have a strange bond and Brett will most likely become his 8th wife.

[Page Six]

Jacko gets the OK!

Michael Jackson has apparently sold his first post-trial story to the upcoming US version of Britian's celebrated OK! Magazine. And the price? A cool $2 Million. The first issue of Ok! with Jessica Simpson on the cover will hit newsstands today.

The Michael Jackson interview was conducted in Bahrain where he is now living with his 3 children. Jacko was given full approval over his interview which will hit next week.

How much is Jacko in debt? Like a zillion dollars? Well, that's $2 Million down. Fuck an interview, I want pictures! Scandalous ones! I want to see Jacko dressed up as child icons like Mr. Rogers and Willy Wonka! Get Annie Leibowitz on the line, we've got something for the Fair!

[Page Six]

The Dlisted Report

Looks like CBS' Rock Star: INXS isn't doing so well. The network has moved the Monday show to VH1 and the reality mess will now show twice a week on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. They are also speeding things up by moving the finale up two weeks. [Cynthia's Cynopsis]

Haven't seen Richard Gere in a while. He's on board to star in The Flock for HK director Andrew Lau. The film follows a hypervigilant federal agent (Gere) who, while training his young female replacement, must track down a missing girl who he is convinced is connected to a paroled sex offender he is investigating. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Billy Bob Thornton and Napoleon Dynamite's Jon Heder will topline a remake of 1960's School for Scoundrels. In the new version, Heder plays a down-on-his-luck meter reader who enrolls in a confidence-building class so he can win the love of his dream girl. The class turns out to be something quite different once it becomes clear to the young man that his professor (Thornton) has set his sights on the same woman. Shooting will begin this October in New York and Los Angeles for a 2006 release. [Variety]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!!

Mariah shits a ribbon of excitement as she visits the Magic Kingdom, where she's considered thin and giant mice hit on you. - Anonymous 2:05pm

R.I.P. JW from I Want to be a Hilton

Hot Slut of the Day!

Miss Sharon Mitchell

for Markus

Birthday Sluts

Tom Brady (28)
Evangeline Lilly (26)
Michael Ealy (32)
Martha Stewart (64)
Martin Sheen (65)

Do the Doo

One of my new favorite blogs FourFour has the funniest fucking screencaps from Being Bobby Brown. The best one is below, when I saw that shit I nearly spilled over. Whitney has given me a whole new set of phrases to use!



[FourFour]

Love is in the Air!

For all your Big Brother watchers, here's some screencaps of Beau (the openly gay personal shopper) and Howie (the boobie-freak) getting a little close. Howie is "comfortable with his sexuality" and claims he just likes to play with Beau and is also using him a little for game purposes. If I was a betting man, I'd put money on Beau and Howie becoming the new Rob and Amber.







[Towleroad]

Furby is back and here to take over the world!

Yup and they are still creepy. Don't let this bitch sleep in your room or it's curtains for your ass!

Attack of the Clones: Thanks to Jenny Aniston!

Billy Idol called - he wants his look back! - Jennifer Aniston to Vanity Fair

She really said that!

[Mercury News]

Who's Hotter?

Mischa's lil' sister, Mischa or that creepy guy with the long hair in the background? I vote creepy guy.

Stephen Dorff goes Pussy Hunting!

Yesterday The Dorff thought he'd scour the beach in front of his Malibu pad for a little action. He looks so short! IMDB credits him as 5'8.5''. I guess every inch counts. Literally. He didn't hit any runs, but later that dog in the background joined him for a romantic dinner.

EXCLUSIVE! A Production Still from A Bug's Life 2: Material Bugs

[Lime-Light]

For the love of GOD...

Somebody get both of these bitches a new stylist! Paris is fine, skany as always. But Damn her man buys his fucking clothes at Gymboree!



[Lime-Light]

Brit Brit throws Kori a Birthday Party!

Britney's thunder thighs made Kori blind!

Angie & Maddox buy toys!

You know Maddox sat that bitch down and was like:

"Listen bitch, that bitch Zahara is hot and everything but things are not about to change. You know that whole Michael Jackson thing? Well a similar situation could easily be set up involving your new boy toy Bradley. So don't F with me sister. Gotcha? Now let's get our shop on! And by the by, please change your license plate. Diva09? That's just embarrassing!"

Naomi Campbell: NOT DICKMATIZED!

Tommy Lee and Uberbitch Naomi Campbell dated briefly last year. And Tommy says that it didn't go anywhere, because Naomi is a typical supermodel.

He says, "She was lovely but she's like a supermodel diva. She doesn't travel anywhere without 500 pairs of shoes and 82 dresses. It was too much. "I have minimal requirements. Good music, family, food, sex."

Naomi must be fucking nuts! If this bitch thought more about which shoes goes with which dress instead of jumping on Tommy's 9ner.. she's a fucking freak! But seriously, you know this bitch beat his ass down. That's why he left. He's the one that's supposed to giving the beat downs in a relationship! Not the woman!

[Contact Music]

That's a skanky therapist!

Jessica Simpson said that if she wasn't a superstar she would be a therapist. Jessica insists that bitches are wrong when they think she's just some dumb blonde, because she wanted to pursue a career in psychology.

She says, "If I wasn't doing what I'm doing, I'd be a therapist. I grew up being analyzed, that makes me analyze everything. "I love when the outside is so different from the inside."

I think our poor, poor Jessica has gotten therapists mixed up with hookers. I think when she said "I love when the outside is so different from the inside" she meant she likes guessing a dude's dick size before she opens up his pants.

Jessica, a hooker does that sort of thing not a therapist!!! Well, not my therapist anyway!

[Contact Music]

The Bargain Bin

Remember when Donald Trump was hot shit and he came out with all these products, because of the success of The Apprentice? Well, The Don launched a doll of himself that when you pressed a button would blurt out several phrases like "You're Fired" and "Melania's a Dude.". It was originally selling for $25. But now, one can be yours at the rock-bottom price of $2.49!

That's just fucking embarrassing! However, a spokesperson says his shirts and ties are still selling well.

I wonder how Regis Philbin's clothing line is doing? I seriously almost bought one of his ties!

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!!

Once again Sean realizes why he likes dick so much. - Satire

The Dlisted Report

George Lucas is already at work on the Star Wars TV series. It will be a 3D animated series being put together completely in Singapore. George is already looking for Asian talent and can't wait to dabble into anime. He's also planning to shoot the series on a regular Sony camcorder that anyone can buy. [Variety]

Wild Reeds star Elodie Bouchez will join the cast of Alias this fall. She will play an International criminal that has been working with SPOILER Michael Vaughn for many years. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Brittany Murphy has confirmed that she's been signed to the sequel to Sin City. She will reprise her role of Shellie. The sequel is set to hit theaters next summer. [Moviehole]

Congratulations to Michael for Winning Hell's Kitchen!!!

Hot Slut of the Day!

Chaka Khan!

Birthday Sluts

Edward Furlong (28)
Kevin Smith (35)
Mary-Louise Parker (41)
Victoria Jackson (46)
Anthony Crivello (50)
Joanna Cassidy (60)
Wes Craven (66)

Charlize Theron as Pussycat Doll?

Damn, she looks like a dude! At least she keeps the kitten area clean...







[A Socialite's Life]

Joan Collins: Shark Swimmer!

There's a new reality show on the horizon. It involves feeding sharks with celebs. Quick, get HoHan's agent on the line! Ruby Wax and Richard E. Grant have agreed to be lowered in a cage into the waters of Shark Alley in South Africa, while they use dead fish to lure the sharks to the cage. Oh fuck no! The show called Celebrity Shark Bait will air in the UK.

Producers of the show asked Dynasty Grand Damme, Joan Collins to appear but she scoffed at their offer! She said: "Thank you, but I already know how to swim with sharks."

This will be a perfect installment for The Simple Life. All you have to do is tell Paris Hilton: "Ok, remember in that sex tape where Rick Soloman ate you? It's going to be like that, but instead we're going to get this really hot grey man to do it. Cool?" You know she'd be into that.
On a similar note. For all you shark lovers out there, please visit my boyfriend's new blog about sharks. If you like seeing fucked up pictures of bitches arms bit off by those sea predators, that's where you would go.

[SwimAtYourOwnRisk]

Usher wants it bad!

Damn, he's always showing us the ass. Don't show us, unless you wanna do something about it!

JLo knocked up?

It seems that every week we hear of some celeb-bitch that's knocked up. Now it's JLo's turn, AGAIN! People are saying that Jennifer Lopez is 6-7 weeks preggers. They are saying they know this, because Jenny from the Block has asked several designers to put together baby baskets for her ass. Apparently, JLo has a bit of baby envy now that her ex, Ben Affleck and his chick are baby expecting.

I'll believe it when her pr bitches deny it. This slut is so obsessed with her career now, unless she thinks that having a baby will help her career. And Jlo please divorce your hubby and find someone that will actually make your baby hot. Because he's kind of on the creepy side.

[Q100]

Lauren Bacall rips Tom Cruise a new one!

Outspoken Lauren Bacall has unleashed hot words onto TomKat. She basically called Tom Cruise disgusting. Which I totally fucking agree. Lauren told Time Magazine: "When you talk about a great actor, you're not talking about Tom Cruise."

"His whole behavior is so shocking," she says. "It's inappropriate and vulgar and absolutely unacceptable to use your private life to sell anything commercially, but I think it's kind of a sickness."

I love Lauren! This bitch tells it like it T-I-S !!! However, if this bitch ends up being zapped up into a UFO. You fucking know who was responsible! And I ain't naming names!

[AP]

Happy August!

From Tara Reid and her dirty, dirty cooze!

Drunk Bitches: Orlando Bloom

Is he hot, I can't decide. Sometimes I think so and other times, he's just normal. Anyway, here he is drunk and chatting it up with fans. It also looks like he's making out with Steve from The Jerry Springer show.

Posh Returns!

I haven't heard from Posh that much lately. Posh and her husband hit London's Ivy restaurant and well, Posh wore something she probably should've left in the bargain bin at Filene's. Posh and I really do have a love/hate relationship. I think she's super hot and the fact that she has ZERO talent makes her even hotter. However, I must say she has some of the worst implants I've ever seen. She's almost like a UK version of Tara Reid without the getting plastered part. She's over tanned and over enhanced. On that note, she's still in my top 3 hottest bitches ever! Posh, just please cover up those nasty silicones!





[Lime-Light]

What is going on here?

Did Fergie piss her pants or did she get a little too excited and drop the ladyjizz in her panties? That just ain't right!!!





[Oh No They Didn't]

Jennifer Aniston speaks!

When photos of Brangelina in W Magazine hit the world, many people were shocked. I wouldn't say I was shocked, but I was kind of disgusted. What an asshole Brad is to fucking pose like a family with a woman who helped to tear apart his marriage. Think about it... if your man dumped your ass for a hotter chick and then posed with her as a family (with kids) in an international magazine, you know that would be bringin' on the tears.

Now, Jennifer Aniston didn't fight back or say shit. Ghetto Michael K would've posed for Penthouse showing my private business to the world. But she has class and is now speaking out for the first time to Vanity Fair.

"The world was shocked and I was shocked. I'd be a robot if I said I didn't feel moments of anger, of hurt, of embarrassment."

Jen also sets rumors straight that her marriage ended because she didn't want to start a family just yet. "That really annoyed me. I've never in my life said I don't want children. I did and I do and I will. I would never give up that experience for a career. I want to have it all."

She said that her and Brad are no longer speaking. But she did go on to say: "We will be talking at Angelina's funeral when I beat that bitch down!" Ok, she didn't say that.

[Ananova]

Don't mess with Jake!

Jake is a 65-pound golden retriever and is hot shit! Jake took part in the 10th Annual Alcatraz Invitational which is a 1.2 mile swim from Alcatraz to shoreline in San Francisco. There were 499 human swimmers and 1 dog swimmer which was Jake. And you know what? That bitch Jake won that shit!

"It was colder and rougher than we thought it would be," said Jeff Pokonosky, Jake's owner and swim partner. "Jake amazed me. He was very focused. He started out really fast. I was trying to slow him down. He increased his pace to stay with the pack."

Jake has become the first dog to win the race. Jake's owner went on to say: "This swim is about personal challenge. Whether you are dog or human, it's whatever you can achieve that counts."

Do you really think Jake cares about achieving goals? The only goals he wants to achieve is licking his nuts and taking an uninterrupted nap!

[Yahoo]

All in the name of ratings!

Pamela Anderson has revealed the reason why her and ex-husband, Tommy Lee, have been out in public so much. She's helping him promote his new reality show. Pammy and Tommy were spotted in Hawaii fueling speculation that the two were back together. There were also rumors that Tommy popped the question and they were going to get married for a third time.

But Pammy insists that she's just helping out an old friend by boosting his public image. Tommy's show drops in August and focuses on Tommy going to college. I've got news for your ass, Pam, not even you can save this show. The only way you can save this show is by actually appearing on the show, nude while balancing a poodle on your head. And even then you'll probably only come in 3rd for your time slot.

Oh and she didn't actually mean she was just helping a friend out. She meant "I'm dickmatized!"

[Contact Music]

Sienna's back to Edie!

Sienna Miller was reportedly dumped from playing Edie Segwick in Factory Girl after producers didn't think she was a big enough name. They awarded the role to Katie Holmes. But Katie recently dropped out after Tom didn't think the role would look good on her image. But since the whole Jude Law cheating scandal has broke, Sienna Miller has become a bigger name.

So now producers have decided to give her the role back which is fine by her.

A source revealed: "This is not the way Sienna would have liked to have won the role of Edie Sedgwick or a big action role. But she is not going to kick a gift horse. Professionally speaking, being so badly treated by Jude is the best thing that's happened to Sienna. "Now she's deemed A-list famous. If you're in the papers you've made the grade and American movie producers want you."

I fucking agree! Use this shit to become a huge star and then destroy Jude Law. Pretend you're in a Jackie Collins novel. Success is the best revenge, oh and fuck his best friend. That'll help.

[ITV.Com]

Joan Rivers will pay!

Joan Rivers has attacked the perfection that is Victoria Beckham! Oh no she didn't!

Joans told a magazine: "David Beckham is a national treasure because he cheated on his wife, who I understand is very, very rude. "I've never met her, but I always ask taxi drivers, limo drivers and airport cleaners and always the same names come up - and she is right up on top of the list. I think if he's got that kind of arrogant shrew, I hope he screws everything that's not tied down.".

OH HELL to the NO! This ain't right. Victoria Beckham is a perfect woman that never did anything to hurt anybody! Except Jordan. But she doesn't count. Joan Rivers needs to mind her own business! She's just fucking jealous, because Posh is rich as shit!

And furthermore, Becks is ONLY a National Treasure because of Posh! She's the Lady Macbeth behind his Macbeth!

[Female First]

Baby Kabbalah

Brit Brit Spears has apparently booked The Kabbalah Center in Los Angeles for a special ceremony in September. 9 days after her baby is due. Brit Brit hopes to have her new kid blessed by the religion. Brit has become more and more intrigued by the religion after Madge introduced her to it.

Brit said that she believes the Kabbalah helped her to steer her life around and focus on more positive things. Bitch, you mean to tell me that the Kabbalah told you to eat bags and bags of cheetos all day. And to drink loads of caffeine while you are preggers?

I know the Kabbalah didn't tell you to wear that awful hefty bag out in public!

[Female First]

Sean Connery is done!

Sean Connery is fed up with the Hollywood game and is sick of the idiots that run the joint!

He said: "I'm fed up with the idiots the ever-widening gap between people who know how to make movies, and those who green light them."I don't say they're all idiots - I'm just saying there is a lot of them.

It would almost need a Mafia-like offer I couldn't refuse to do another movie" .

Duh, he's 74. I'd be retiring my ass too! I'd be sitting on a beach somewhere, getting boozed up every afternoon. There's no point in working when you are that old! Besides, he's paid his dues!

OMG, remember that movie he did with Catherine Zeta-Jones. Entrapment? That shit was so hot! It was one of the worst movies I've ever seen!

[Ireland Online]

The Dlisted Report

Wedding Crashers was the #1 movie of the weekend bringing in $20.5 Million. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory came in at #2 with just about $16.4 Million. Stealth flopped this weekend bringing in only $13.5 Million for its first week. [Box Office Mojo]

Haley Joel Osment is returning to movies. He will star in Home of the Giants. Set in an Indiana town that lives for basketball, the story follows a teenager (Osment) who idolizes one of the town's basketball stars. The teen and his best pal are befriended by the player, who ends up being anything but the hero they thought he was. Shooting begins next month in North Carolina. [The Hollywood Reporter]
The Cut is proving to be a huge flop for CBS. Tommy Hilfigger's reality show debuted on Thursday but then was pushed to Wednesday and will now find itself on Fridays at 9pm. [Cynthia's Cynopsis]

Stage veteran Debra Monk will return to Broadway in September. She will play Mama Morton in Chicago going until the end of the year. [Playbill]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!!

Go forth my green ninjas and purge the land of male children! Princess Aiko WILL be Empress! - madmoham

Hot Slut of the Day!

Allyce Beasley!

Birthday Sluts

Coolio (41)
Tempest Bledsoe (32)
Sam Mendes (40)
Chuck D (44)
Dom DeLuise (72)

A little Beckham for your Sunday...

From Details Magazine..

This Could be Hot!

Hot Slut of the Week: Pebbles

Age: 38
Birthday: November 6, 1966
Birth Name: Perri Nixon

Original Date of Hot Slut of the Day: July 26, 2005
Claim to Fame: R&B singer with such songs like Mercedes Boy and Girlfriend. Also went on to help create TLC and stole dough from their asses!

Where is she now? Perri is now Sister Perri and helped found a female-oriented church organization called Women of God Changing Lives Through Christ.

Why is she Hot Slut of the Week? Because stealing money is hot and also having songs like Mercedes Boy is extra hot! You also get big points for turning to God after your career flops!

Damn that's one lucky dog!

Do you think this dog knows that his owner is the hotness that is Jake Gyllenhaal? Do you think Jake has a hard time keeping the dog from humping his leg, because of his hotness. This dog doesn't look too excited. Shit, I'd be on that like Star Jones on a fag! Wait! Maybe that's not a dog at all, maybe it's Maggie!

What the hell kind of GD outfits are these ?!?

Destiny's Child is currently touring the country with their Destiny Fulfilled tour. They always look like drag queens to me. Like fucking drag queen superheroes. Tina Knowles needs to be fired, ASAP!

[Lime-Light]

Hugh Jackman and his mom, errr..wife

Hugh Jackman's wife Deborah Furness is hardly old, but she looks like Judi Dench! She looks like she could be at least 50! Hugh looks hot though.





[Lime-Light]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Maya Rudolph

Birthday Sluts

Ben Chaplin (35)
J.K. Rowling (39)
Dean Cain (39)
Wesley Snipes (43)