Weekend Lovin'

Here's a picture of our favorite bottle blonde, Anna Nicole Smith at a wedding at The Hard Rock Hotel Seminole. She looks hot, but she's still trash.




I'm going away to the beach this weekend, so I won't be posting. See you bitches on Monday! Have a hot weekend. I leave you with some Debbie Harry!

Debbie Harry "Rush Rush"

Miss Piggy's Nip Slip

[JJB]

Idina Menzel can't hold her water!

A source has told me that Broadway star Idina Menzel can't hold her vagina! During her Broadway run of Wicked, Idina's dresser had to wait in the wings with kleenex in her hand. Why? Because during Idina's big number Defying Gravity she would occasionally pop her tampon right out of her vagina while hitting her high notes! So she would have to hand her dirty tampon to her dresser! That fleabag!!!

And during filming of the movie Rent, Idina would piss in her panties all the time! My source tells me that if someone made a joke, Idina would laugh so hard and have to squat down right there and relieve herself in her panties! She would then run to her trailer to change em.

Idina is married to Kevin Hill star Taye Diggs. I wonder if she pisses while he's fucking her?

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This Pic is AMAZING....and 100% real! It's Tyra Banks at a q&a for her new talk show. Bitch was probably passing some gas.

Sit on my face!

Who the fuck has their picture painted onto a fucking chair? Ben Affleck does! When I first saw this pic, I figured it was some crazy fan that really wanted to sit on his face. However, this children's chair was seen being moved out of Ben's own house. A children's chair?!? Please someone explain to me why you would paint your face on a children's chair?

Now, that's some Jacko territory we're moving into!

[Sky Showbiz]

Wrong on so many different levels...

Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx are currently shooting Miami Vice. Colin looks like he put on some poundage and also he's sporting a so not-cute mullett. That's just not hot, I don't care how you dish it, serve it, whatever..it ain't hot and it never will be!

Who the hell buys JLo's perfumes?

CZJ channels Marilyn!

What the fuck is Catherine Zeta-Jones wearing that blonde wig for? Does anybody know? At least I hope that's a wig.



[Lime-Light]

Marie Osmond was HOT in the 80s

Now she's just a fucking mess. But that hair, that outfit, that look...everything is hot!



Thanks to Karen as usual!

Leto in NYC yesterday!

Check out the package. Is it big like bitches are saying? I know there are some sluts that read this shit. So I need some expert slut opinions, here!

R.I.P. Michael from Big Brother

It's Punky Brewster peggo, drinking an OJ!

Where the fuck is Cherry? Remember that episode of Punky Brewester when that stupid bitch Cherry hid in the fucking refrigerator during hide & seek and almost died. What a dumb bitch!

T.G.I.F !!!

Beweave!

Askanky showed up to court with a fucked up weave and a nasty suit from JcPenney! Girl is channeling Lil' Kim in this ensemble.

Sienna is all smiles!

Sienna Miller returned to performances in As You Like It in London without her engagement ring. However, Sienna was smiley and looked happy. Sienna, get over that bitch! He's tainted dick!

Janelle is a Wanted Woman!

Big Brother contestant Janelle used to be a woman on the run! Days before she was due to turn herself into the Big Brother house, Janelle had to take care of a little legal matter. You see, there was a warrant for her arrest after she failed to appear in court for taking shit from Macy's. But Janelle showed up was ordered to pay $982 and ordered to stay at least 100 yards from the store.

Janelle was also arrested in 2000 in MN for drunk driving.

Fuck, she's a mess. And here I thought she was this sweet, little thing!

[Smoking Gun]

Courtney is a wreck!

Courtney Love was rushed to the hospital early Thursday morning after she fainted at a party at the Roosevelt Hotel in Los Angeles. Court was released later that day.

She said: "I don't quite know what happened It was very hot I had two Diet Cokes I started feeling really woozy I decided to go to the private cabana that they'd given me to use I must have fainted .

"A friend called an ambulance, and I woke up in hospital on a breathing machine They didn't keep me there long" .

Court assures us it wasn’t due to drugs. I’m not sure what to believe anymore! I really felt that the bitch was off drugs. Maybe she fainted, because she looked at her haggard ass in the mirror finally!

[Female First]

Bacon Bits

Kevin Bacon and his wife Kyra Sedgwick recently added a dog to their family, but Kevin has become paranoid that the dog will bite his nuts off! Kevin finds that Pauly’s love for chew toys is a bit concerning.

Kyra said: Sedgwick says, "(Pauly) loves to catch frisbees and catch balls and he loves rubber chew toys. And Kev, knowing this, whenever he's walking around naked, always says, 'This is not a rubber chew toy,' for fear that the dog might get confused.

"I've always thought, 'Honey, what is it with boys and that?' They think everyone wants it!

"I thought he was unduly paranoid about it and then one day he was playing with the dog - thankfully he had on a bathing suit - and at one point the dog put his head in his lap and I heard Kev scream and say, 'That is not a rubber chew toy!' I guess he got a little confused."

I can feel his pain, it’s just weird being naked around a dog period! You feel like they are staring at you with disgust or lust. One of those and it’s just creepy!

[Contact Music]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!!

Psycho Chick: Lindsay, please please dye your hair back to deep tomato red like this sweater I am wearing! I am speaking on behalf of the Herbie Fan Gurls and we will follow you around until you ditch the blonde do! Don't you recognise me? I am your biggest fan. See my bracelet? Its made from all your baby teeth...I won them on E-bay! I care about you!

Lindsay (interior to herself): Just looking at this bitch is appetite suppressant enough and beyond that her breath smells like corn dogs. Just gotta play it cool til my security team rolls up. Plus I told my dad if he wanted to tag along tonight cuz we're trying to work things out, he should lay low and blend into the walls. Didn't know he take the wallpaper motif so literally...gah...where is my dealer??! This sucks. - Orchide

The Dlisted Report

Mel Gibson will go action in his next feature which he plans to direct. He will begin production on Apocalypto this October in Mexico to be released next year. [Variety]
Guy Pearce will play famed magician Harry Houdini in Death Defying Acts for director Gillian Armstrong. Rachel Weisz is in talks to play Houdini's mistress. Shooting will begin next year. [Variety]

Natasha Hendstridge has joined the cast of the upcoming ABC drama Commander-In-Chief starring Geena Davis and Donald Sutherland. Natasha will play assistant to Donald's character. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Rumor has it that the list for the next James Bond has been whittled down to four actors. And the actors are now being asked to do a screen test on their love making skills. Stand-In Bond girls have been hired to perform a scene from From Russia With Love with each candidate. [Dark Horizons]

R.I.P. Maurizio from Kept

Hot Slut of the Day!

Melissa Sue Anderson

Thanks to Jadair for the hot suggestion!

Birthday Sluts

Rufus Wainwright (32)
Rhys Ifans (37)
David Spade (41)
John Leguizamo (41)
Rob Estes (42)
Keith Sweat (44)
Albert Brooks (58)
Don Henley (58)
Danny Glover (59)
Terence Stamp (66)

What a tangled web...

A hot source e-mailed me something that we've been speculating. Apparently, Jude Law cheated with Daisy the Nanny (above left in pink) while he was still married to Sadie. When Sadie found out she fired Daisy! Then Jude left Sadie for Sienna Miller. My source said Sadie is crazy in the brains and hates Sienna with a passion, so she hired Daisy back knowing for a fact that Jude would sleep with Sienna again. When her children found Daisy in bed with Jude back in March, Sadie fired her yet again! Because, I guess Sadie had no use for Daisy anymore since the damage was already done.

If all this is true, it would be hot since Sadie went public and said she would be there for Sienna if she needed her. What a bitch!

I really couldn't find any info on how long Daisy worked for Jude and Sadie. Does anybody know?

Who is the skankiest skinny bitch?

The results are in and you bitches are traitors! Paris and I were head to head, but I outskanked her and ran away with 52% of your votes!

Thanks for voting!

I see Alien nipples!

At Hustle & Flow last night...

Bareback Mountain: Hot Cowboy Lovin'

Attack of the Clones!

What the hell kind of GD outfit is that?

Poor Marcia Gay Harden. She's usually dressed so elegant. But she looks like a fucking beatle in that shiny, green shrug. And what's with that little, itty, bitty purse. She totally got that at the Barbie store.

BREAKING NEWS!!

HoHan buys Trident AND Ciggies!

Who is Jack Osbourne's newest girlfriend?

R.I.P. Jeff from The Cut

Our Prayers worked for Zsa Zsa!

Tammy Faye Messner could be one of the nicest woman in the world. On The Surreal Life, she was honestly the most normal and down-to-earth one there. She was completely not judgemental and tried to respect everyone. This is why she needs our prayers, just like Zsa Zsa did!

Tammy Faye's battle with cancer is not over! It has returned for a third time. She said: "I'm not worried, I'm not afraid.By the third time you have cancer, you begin to think about your mortality."

"I thank God, I'm truly one of the lucky ones. There's always people that are worse off than you are, and that's what I look at to give me strength."

[Washington Post]

Halle Berry is just like Michael K!

We both have those hideous wire screens for our dogs!

[JJB]

Jessica Simpson so wants it bad!

Here's our favorite Queen of Denial, Jessica Simpson with her personal trainer. Look at the body language. She wants him bad or she just had him, one or the other. His body language totally shows that he's hiding something. OMG I'm a body language expert! Actually not, I just know hungry vagina when I see it! I've seen a lot of straight porn folks!





[Lime-Light]

Popbitch Blind Item

Which pretentious LA white-trash art-house actor/director, and wannabe musician, is
handing out White Supremacist literature and bumper stickers, decoratively designed
in red white and blue, which say, "WORK, IT'S A WHITE THING"?

Vincent Gallo

[Popbitch]

Sadie: "Bitch, I told you!"

Jude Law's, ex-wife Sadie Frost feels very sorry for the woman that helped to break-up her marriage. Jude cheated on Sadie with Sienna and has now cheated on Sienna with his ex-nanny. What goes around comes around.

Sadie said: "I just want to say publicly that I feel for her. I feel very sorry for her. I think she is young and has a great career ahead of her - but I do feel very sorry for her. "I have all sorts of advice for her but I do not want to go into that publicly. If she phones me I'll have a long chat with her. "I can only give her advice if she asks for it really. Otherwise. I have to stay out of it. This is something they really have to sort out together."

That is very nice of Sadie to say. If it was me, I'd be really ghetto and say "That fucking homewrecking bitch deserved that shit!"

Remember when Sadie played Lucy in Dracula? That bitch was hot!

[Ananova]

Karl's Spit not Swallow Technique!

Remember when Karl Lagerfeld was a fat cow and now he's basically another skinny skank. Well, Popbitch is reporting that Karl practices the spitting technique:

Karl Lagerfeld works hard to maintain his super-skinny dieted body. He was spotted at his office recently, sitting at his desk, pulling out a jar of Nutella and spoon from a drawer. Karl then took a huge spoonful, swished it round his mouth for a while... then spat the chocolate spread back into the jar, which he then locked back into the drawer.

Yeah, food is the only thing that Queen spits out!

[Popbitch]

Diane Lane loves Golden Showers!

While doing press for her new film Must Love Dogs, Diane Lane recalled one of her first dates and how disastrous it truly was.

She said:"I was at a rock concert and it was in Texas. They had these Texas-sized beverages. I didn't go the restroom in time, and the whole amphitheatre (was) pouring into the parking lot. "I said (to my date), 'Look, I still have this container. I think I can go in your car,' which is fine. It was a success story, until I had to pull the leather pants back up - and I knocked it over! "We had the T-shirts from the concert so we (dried it up with those). It was terrible but I was a kid. "My grandmother set me up with him, bless his heart. He was a very nice man... I'm sure the paint peeled off after that Texas beer!"

[Contact Music]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!!

Oprah makes another attempt to get past the Hermes security guard. - Anonymous 2:02pm

The Dlisted Report

Tom Hanks will play a rogue Texas congressman for Aaron Sorkin in Charlie Wilson's War. A director has not been set and shooting is tentatively scheduled for next spring. [Variety]

Annasophia Robb who plays Violet in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory will join Hilary Swank in the horror/thriller The Reaping. [Variety]

Kathleen Turner's Who Afraid of Virginia Woolf will play its last performance on Broadway on September 4th. The play also stars Bill Irwin who won a Tony Award for his work. [Playbill]

R.I.P. Neal from Rock Star: INXS

Hot Slut of the Day!

Erin Gray!

Thanks to Cicelyfairfield for this suggestion!

Birthday Sluts

Justin Bartha (27)
Josh Hartnett (27)
Ali Landry (32)
Charlotte Gainsbourg (34)
Robin Williams (54)
Cat Stevens (57)
Janet Reno (67)

Isn't she lovely?

Zahara is gorgeous!!!! Here are the first good pictures of Angie's new daughter taken today in Los Angeles. Angie and family are currently staying at Brad Pitt's Malibu manse.

Help me out here..

What is Goldie Hawn trying to do? Is she trying to fly away? I love the frozen smile on her face. Goldie is showing us that you can look hot at 60! From far away, that is.

A new pic of Angie & Zahara!

Scotty is dead!!!!

That totally sucks!

There is no way this bitch is skankier than me OR HoHan!

Look at this bitch! She is the skankiest of them all! There is no way in hell she can out skank, slut or whore anybody! Don't look at these pics too closely or you'll get an STD!









[A Socialite's Life]

Nanny Nanny Boo Boo

Jude Law was photographed with the "nanny in question" the day before yesterday. Jude and his family enjoyed a lovely day at the horse farm! The nanny came along. Pun intended.

Do you think Jude's hung?





[Lime-Light]

I don't care what you bitches say!

Kiki Dunst is rancid!!!





[Lime-Light]

Live Stank!

Calvin Klein decided that he needs some PR so he's put together a live billboard in New York's Times Square for his stinky scent CK One. This looks pretty dumb if you ask me.



[A Socialite's Life]

Kate Moss' Man is Sooo Gross!

Holy Hell!! Look at Jack Osbourne!

Knoxville talks to Elle

ELLE: If your life depended on you sleeping with one man, who would you bed?

JK: David Geffen—you might as well hump your way to the top.

ELLE: Have you ever used sex to get something you wanted?

JK: The only thing I’ve used sex for is to get more sex.

ELLE: When you first see a woman, where do your eyes generally go?

JK: Face, shoulders, ass, the nape of the neck, and then breasts.

ELLE: Does your wife generally believe you or the press?

JK: Aw, she knows I’m just a big flirt.

[Goldenfiddle]

Josh & Stacy not engaged!

Stacy Ferguson has slammed reports that she's engaged. Rumors circulated last week that Josh Duhamel proposed to Fergie with her accepting.

However Stacy said: "No, no, no. I'm not engaged. That's all a rumour it's crazy. I can entirely dismiss that right now. I'm not engaged - there's no time to have a wedding right now."

Yeah, he probably dumped her ass. I won't be surprised if we hear in two weeks time that these bitches are over!

[Contact Music]

From the Horse-Hung's mouth!

There was speculation yesterday as to if the rumors were true that Tommy Lee and Pammy Anderson were going to get married for a third fucking time. Tommy Lee has confirmed that the two are indeed getting married.

He sent an e-mail to Access Hollywood:

"Yes, I love Pamela. That's my girl. As for a date for the big day, he added, "No date yet, baby. Soon!".

Whatever happened to taking it slow? You know, going out on a few dates, getting back into the swing of things? I give them 6-Months tops!

[Access Hollywood]

Suggestions?

Sean Combs aka Diddy aka P. Diddy aka Puff Daddy aka Who Gives a Fuck has said that he's about to change his name, yet again! When asked why he's planning on changing it, he said:
"Why, because I can"

Now, I'm asking you bitches to help a Sean out and come up with a few suggestions for him.

I'm thinking maybe "Buy Diddy" or "Punch Diddy"?

[Female First]

Rose, this is the best thing for your career!

Are Rose McGowan and Al Pacino an item? Rose is 31 and Al Pacino is 65, however Page Six is reporting that they've been out on a date and Rose is actually into his shit even though he's old enough to be her pepaw! Al apparently has also recently romanced Elle Macpherson.

What is up with these old dudes who are into bitches that are old enough to be their daughters! I don't understand it. I guess since you're going into the twilight of your years, you want to go with fresh pussy on your arm. I still don't get it!

[Page Six]

Scarlett's Dickmatized!

Scarlett Johansson was dating Jared Leto, until he dumped her ass because she was too young. Jared then moved on to the younger, Ashley Olsen while Scarlett moved on to Josh Hartnett. However, Page Six reports that Scarlett has been secretly seeing Jared again. Why? Because the bitch is dickmatized! Apparently, Jared is packing!

Porn Star Corina Taylor who has slept with Jared said:"I've been a porn actress for three years, and Jared was the most I ever had to work with. There's definitely a second career available for him if he ever runs out of mainstream work."

Damn, break me off a piece of that!

[Page Six]

A Flop for Chrissy Snow!

Suzanne Somers one-woman show The Blonde in the Thunderbird opened to mostly negative reviews on Sunday. The show was due to run until September, however the show will now close this sunday July 24th after only playing for a week!

Suzanne had this to say about the reviews and closing: "I put my show out there with the cleanest of hearts and the best of intentions and getting reviews like that hurt. . . Barry Manilow said Broadway would break my heart, and it has. The fighter in me is back today. Even though I only have [seven] performances left, they're going to be great performances."

[Playbill]

The Dlisted Report

The official teaser website for the Jack Black movie Tenacious D has officially launched. The film is due to hit theaters next year. [Coming Soon]

Antoine Fuqua is in talks with Fox Searchlight to direct a biopic of famed rapper The Notorious B.I.G. The script is currently being written and is being produced by B.I.G's mother Voletta Wallace. [Variety]

And yet another horror film remake is in the works. This time the film is the 1976 The Omen. A script is currently being written and director John Moore will direct with an October 3, 2005 start date. [Variety]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!!

Traditional Song, Head and Shoulders, Knees and Toes, as performed by the Sea World Underwater Dancers.

Head is the pair in the front.
Shoulders is the pair in the back.
Knees is the swimmer by the "D".
Toes is the pair of fishies on the right. Fishies have no toes? Go figure.

Not shown: Eyes and Ears and Mouth and Nose.

-MadMoHam

R.I.P. Latricia from I Want to be a Hilton

Hot Slut of the Day!

Mrs. Butterworth

Birthday Sluts

Simon Rex (31)
Gisele Bundchen (25)
Judy Greer (30)
Josh Holloway (36)
Carlos Santana (58)

Who is the skankiest skinny bitch?

I have created a very special poll! Please decide who is the skankiest. You can vote at the right, top sidebar.

So far, HoHan has an overwhelming 74% of your votes!



UPDATE - Someone brought up a good point. Skanky is not necessarily slutty. The urban dictionary gives this defintion of the word "skank"

Derogatory term for a (usually younger) female, implying trashiness or tackiness, lower-class status, poor hygiene, flakiness, and a scrawny, pockmarked sort of ugliness. May also imply promiscuity, but not necessarily. Can apply to any race, but most commonly used to describe white trash.

The Rob Thomas/Katie Holmes Connection

We all know by now that TomKat is a total lie and Katie Holmes is on contract. We also heard about Tom Cruise and Rob Thomas being caught in bed together. Both camps denied it with Rob even joking that he'd rather have Brad Pitt.

Well, a source told me that the whole reason TomKat was even created was because of the whole Rob Thomas scandal. You see, my source tells me that Tom Cruise was caught in bed with Rob Thomas by Rob's wife, Marisol. She was livid of course and about to go public with the news. Tom's people quickly intervened and offered Marisol enough money to shut her up. And in order to cover this up even more, they invented TomKat!

My source tells me that they put out hush/hush offers to 4 other actresses; Kate Bosworth, Jessica Alba, Scarlett Johansson & HoHan. Katie Holmes was their 5th offer and she took the bait and the rest is history.

My source also adds that this story will unfold in the next few weeks.

I must say that it makes sense about the TomKat and Rob Thomas connection. Both stories broke around the same time. I hope that my source is right and Marisol writes a tell-all entitled "My Husband loves Top Gun" and blows the lid on TomKat!

When HoHan goes wild!

Don't fuck with HoHan or she'll throw a bottle at your ass. Is that a bottle of lube? Anyway, she threw a bottle at photogs. Tsk, tsk...looks like someone's off their anti-depressants!

It was bad enough the first time..

BAM has a new girlfriend and she is NO Jessica Simpson!

The Conners

Roseanne and the cast of her sitcom reunited to celebrate the first season of Roseanne on DVD. Roseanne darling, blonde's not working...







Click here to see the rest of the cast, DJ is sooo old now!

Angie's Family!

The Sun got the first sort-of picture of Angelina and her new baby, Zahara. Here they are arriving in Los Angeles from Ethiopia!



[The Sun]

Glitter and be Gay!

Dustin Hoffman and Robin Williams are currently pursuing the same role. Both are keen to star in the biopic of Liberace. Reportedly, producers have their eye on Dustin Hoffman to play the flamboyant performer. The family of Liberace reportedly favors Robin Williams to play Liberace.

I have a good suggestion. Just paint Star Jones white and that bitch can play him! She's in a gay relationship, so she already has a heads up!

[Contact Music]

Lonely Lamas

Lorenzo Lamas was due to walk down the aisle this past Saturday with Playboy model, Barbara Moore. However, that morning the wedding was called off! OH NO! Poor Lorenzo decided to surprise Barbara at her bachelorette party and caught her in a comprising position with a male stripper. What does he expect?! Has he ever been to one of those things. It's all dry humping and tea-bagging! Get with the program, Lorenzo!

Lorenzo issued this statement: "Barbara and I would first like to thank our family and friends who have expressed concern at this time. It is comforting to have their love and support. The two of us have chosen to take different paths, but will continue to support each other in the spirit of the goodness and light that brought us together."

Didn't Lorenzo beat the shit out of his ex-wife? He's a terd!

[Page Six]

This isn't fucking Dynasty!

Pamela Anderson is a crazy bitch. We all know this girl likes dick and there's nothing wrong with that. But don't let yourself get dickmatized! What is dickmatized? I'll break it down for you:

• When a man beats your ass, but you still want to pounce on it. You're DICKMATIZED.
• When a man beats your children, but you still want to pounc on it. You're DICKMATIZED.
• When a man steals money from your ass, but you still want it. You're DICKMATIZED.
• When a man fucks your girlfriend behind your back, but you still want it. You're DICKMATIZED.

Not that I'm saying Tommy Lee did any of this shit to her, but we all know they aren't right for each other! When you keep breaking up with a bitch, but still fucking him..obviously the only thing that's working is his dick!

Which brings me to this. Apparently on Friday night, Tommy Lee asked Pamela to be his wife for a third fucking time! Who the fuck gets married to the same bitch, three times! Anyway, Pamela said YES! Of course, because he was probably fucking her good when he asked her.

He did give her a black diamond though, so I would've said yes too. A rep for Pammy didn't think this story was true, but didn't know for sure.

[Page Six]

Page Six Blind Items

WHICH cable show host had more than fireworks explode on his Fourth of July weekend? He arrived at his East Hampton abode to find his estranged wife in a nasty argument with his current busty girlfriend, whom the ex had caught sunbathing naked. The host sent his pneumatic nymph to a pal's house for the weekend so he could smooth things over with his enraged ex.

Howard Stern

WHICH pregnant star's husband is cheating on his wife? At the recent wrap show for "That '70s Show" at a Meatpacking District lounge, the bad boy hubby was spotted dirty dancing and kissing a lovely Latina.

Kevin Federline

[Page Six]

A few days ago we learned about a sex tape featuring Colin Farrell and some bitch currently making the rounds. The sex tape featured Colin and Playboy model Nicole Narian going at it. Well, Colin is mad as hell and he ain't going to take it! He's suing that bitch Nicole! He's trying to block her from shopping the tape around and going public with it.

Colin's suit claims that the tape was made for their private use only. Nicole Narain has teamed up with two men to try and sell the tape.

Isn't anything sacred anymore? Can't a bitch make a sex tape without the world seeing it! Besides, the way Colin boasts he's probably terrible in the sack!

[Page Six]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!!

Having just arrived from England, Robert was confused when the party invitation said to "Bring Your Own Rubbers." - DSC

The Dlisted Report

Paramount has purchased the film rights to The Smurfs and plan to turn them into a CG feature. Producers have in mind to turn it into a trilogy with the first film to debut on The Smurfs 50th Birthday in 2008. [Variety]
Steven Spielberg and Drew Barrymore are currently talking about coming together for a sequel to their film E.T. With MK Olsen as E.T. this time around. Just kidding! The project will see Gertie grown up trying to save E.T.'s family from extinction. Jesus Christ! [Dark Horizons]

Is Johnny Depp playing a woman in Tim Burton's next flick? Tim Burton is planning to make the life story of legendary stripper Gypsy Rose Lee into a feature film and Johnny Depp is anxious to come aboard to play Gypsy herself. [Dark Horizons]

R.I.P. Elsie from Hell's Kitchen

Hot Slut of the Day!

Trini: The Yellow Power Ranger!


For Lahoma

Birthday Sluts

Topher Grace (27)
Jared Padalecki (23)
Vinessa Shaw (29)
Clea Lewis (41)
Anthony Edwards (43)
Campbell Scott (45)

Attack of the Clones: Brit Brit & Courtney

Jude the Cheater, Part II

This bitch publicly apologized for cheating on his girlfriend. He issued this statement:

"Following the reports in today's papers, I just want to say I am deeply ashamed and upset that I've hurt Sienna and the people most close to us," the 32-year-old actor said in a statement I want to publicly apologize to Sienna and our respective families for the pain that I have caused,"

Sienna who is performing in a play in London, showed up to tonight's performance without her engagement ring on. Oooh drama! And because they are both English, it's so much more dramatic.

[E! Online]

Note to Kelly Osbourne:

Bitch, you aren't Bjork!

The Ugliest Man in the World

A Croatian lawyer claims that he's made 5,000 marriage proposals and turned down for each of them. He now says he feels like the ugliest man in the world. He's placed many ads in local papers claiming his wealth, yet he's still unable to find a wife.

He said: "I've got to the point where I have even been asking women I am meeting in the streets to marry me, but they always say no."

He went on to say: "I've tried placing all kinds of different ads, but not a single woman I've met through my adverts has accepted my offer. What else is there to believe, other than that I must be the ugliest man in the world."

He's not that ugly. I've slept with worse! OMG, Croatian lawyer ring me up! I'll marry your ass for the right price! Or better yet, call Anna Nicole! That bitch is a sure thing!

[Ananova]

Attack of the Clones: Nicole Richie Edition

Elisa came up with this shit and it's genius! Our blogs are totally in sync on the whole Simpsons/Celebrity-morph shit!

[Elisa]

Cameron Diaz doesn't know how to testify!

Cameron Diaz testified Friday in the trial against a photographer who apparently tried to get dough out of Cameron in exchange for not going public with nude pictures he had taken of her earlier in her career. Cameron was all giggles when she took the stand. What's so fucking funny?!?

She also said that she loves her breats! She testified: "The photos themselves were not offensive to me. I thought my boobs looked good - at least I had that going for me. I didn't think of it as pornographic. I was 19 and exploring the possibilities of my body. I wasn't ashamed of it."

I like your breats too Cameron. That's the only part of your ass I like!

[Chicago Tribune]

Only in the world of Bai Ling...

Can a drag queen look more fucking demure!

My Thoughts on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory..

The Bad News:

• The ending was horrendous!
• The Oompa Loompa songs were terrible!
• The Oompa Loompa themselves were gross!
• Johnny Depp was disappointing!

The Good News:

• Missi Pyle was hot shit!
• The squirrels made me smile!
• The special effects were entertaining!
• Freddie Highmore has got to be the cutest little boy ever. He could just stare at the camera and I'd still bawl like a fucking baby!
  

Something tells me Kidman's days are numbered!

While being married to Tom Cruise, Nicole Kidman became so immersed in Scientology that she achieved a high-level of the cult called "OT II". Only a select few are given this elite status and Nicky was one of them. This information was not made public, because Scientology leaders feared that it would look bad if such a high member of the group suddenly bolted.

This makes sense. I think art is imitating life here. The real Nicole Kidman is gone, those Scientologists turned her ass into a robot! No wonder she's been making such terrible movies! They are forcing her to do this! They are ruining the name that is Nicole Kidman!!!

[Page Six]

Tell US!!

Rebecca De Mornay's career is basically in the toilet, so me thinks she should write a tell-all on her ex-boyfriend Tom Cruise. When asked about Tom's recent crazy behavior, Rebecca responded with: "Tom Cruise was a boyfriend of mine. We lived together. I can't comment on that stuff publicly 'cause it doesn't help anybody. I could tell you more if you weren't a journalist."

Bitch just tell us! You basically will never work in this town again, so you really aren't going to lose anything!

[Page Six]

Richie's Sunglasses are getting out of control!

Hey Y'all, it's my mom cut!

Since Brit Brit is going to be a mommy very soon, she thought she would get a jump start by getting a mom haircut! I feel bad, because no matter what Brit does she still looks like trash! She was starting to look good and then she fucks it up by doing this! You know Brit, I try to be in your corner, but you just push me away!







[JJB]

Gawker VS Page Six

The gossip world is an ugly, ugly business! Page Six started it!

Page Six wrote about Gawker:

THIS is the face of snarkiness incarnate. Unknown outside the dork-infested waters of the Blogosphere, her name is Jessica Coen, and she's the co-editor of Gawker.com, where she regurgitates newspaper and magazine stories and slathers them in supposedly witty sarcasm. Every time we bump into Coen, 25, who likes to accessorize with a stuffed dog poking out of her handbag, she smiles and showers us with sycophantic praise. But her every mention of PAGE SIX on her Web site is snide and snarky. Word to Coen: Next time you see us at a party, keep walking. Or slithering. You can't be a boot-licker and a back-stabber at the same time.

Jessica Cohen of Gawker fired back with:

This is the face of hard newsiness incarnate. Unknown outside the skeeve-infested circles of gossip-mongers, its name is Page Six, and it serves as the gossip column for the New York Post. (Incidentally, the Post is owned by Rupert Murdoch, who isn’t even American.) Page Six, which eats only the kittens they choose not to drown, loves to set fire to your furniture while wearing last season’s skeevy H&M. Page Six hates Live 8 and was thrilled to hear about what happened in Iraq this weekend. On their way to a vacation in North Korea, Page Six tried to kill a recently adopted Ethiopian baby. Word to Page Six: Watch your step, ‘cause Brad Pitt ain’t gonna have none of that.

Meow! Things are going to get ugly. I love it when the ones who dish it turn on each other! But if any of you gossip bitches turn on me, I'll get ghetto and cut your asses! And Jail doesn't scare my ass. Trust me, I'll be really popular! Sore, yet popular! Raw, yet popular! Holla!!!

Lost in Translation

Pamela Anderson is apparently reaching out to Courtney Love. Pammy is helping Court lose the weight she's gained since getting off drugs.

Court said:"I'm working out.

"Pamela Anderson runs with me up the steps of Pepperdine University. She's like my personal trainer. I'm a size-30 jeans now."

SIZE 30?!!!! Inches or fucking feet? Court, you are no size 30 jeans. Maybe size 30 dress, but there's no way you fucking have a 30-inch waist!

And I think what she meant to say was "Pamela Anderson does lines with me. She's like my coke friend. I'm up to 30 lines a day now."

Ok that's enough Court bashing for today, it's just sooo easy!

[Ananova]

Mischa's Shark Fascination

Mischa Barton is so fascinated with sharks, she can't stop watching documentaries on them. She says she has been obsessed with the sea animals for years and can't stop learning more and more about them.

She says, "Whenever I watch TV it tends to be an Animal Planet documentary. It's relaxing and you learn the most random facts. "I'm fascinated by anything shark-related. Did you know their teeth continuously regenerate?"

That's funny you should bring that up Mischa. Whenever I think of you, I think of sharks as well. But more specifically, a shark eating your ass!

[Contact Music]

Depp Denies Jacko

Johnny Depp has denied that he based his Willy Wonka on Michael Jackson.

Johnny said: "It never entered my mind, Michael Jackson loves children but Willy Wonka doesn't."

Johnny claims his inspirations were Captain Kangaroo, Mr. Rodgers and Uncle Al.

I got more of an Anna Wintour meets Marilyn Manson type vibe.

[Contact Music]

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER!!

Captain Crunch explains to a first-time sailor that the term "crow's nest" isn't to be taken literally. - Jennifer30309

Jude the Cheater

Jude Law just can't keep his dick in his pants! He's currently engaged to Sienna Miller, but while filming All The King's Men earlier this year, Jude had an affair with his nanny Daisy Wright. Jude, however has blamed it all on Sienna. He claims her partying ways drove him into the arms of Daisy.

A friend of Sienna said: "Rather than feeling guilty and contrite he has turned the whole thing against Sienna. He said if she is not partying, she is sleeping and he completely blames her for what he has done."

"He told her, 'I told you I was unhappy. I told you I needed you to be there for me. Why didn't you listen to me?'"

Sienna has moved out of Jude's pad. Is this beautiful love affair over? Me hopes so!

[Contact Music]

Big Brother Producers ignore their own rules!

It's a law on Big Brother that if you get physical with somebody, you are kicked off the show. And by physical I mean, hit someone, not fuck them. Anyhow, a fight between Eric (the little Napoleonesque guy) and Michael (Kaysar's partner) broke out on Saturday night. Here's the transcript:

Eric: You got a fucking problem?
Michael: I don’t have a fucking problem, You got a problem?
Eric: Not a fucking thing, but ya know what…..
Michael: That’s what I thought…..
Eric: But, go ahead….
Michael: Ya fucking talk a lot,
Eric standing up: ….talk about my fucking family….
Michael: ….you can’t act on it and you have a small penis.
Eric chair falls over, begins walking towards Michael, pointing at him: ….ya fucking piece of shit. Talk about my family. Ya piece of shit.
Michael: [inaudible]
Eric: You’re a piece of shit.
Kaysar pushing Michael: Shut the fuck up.
Michael: You fucking midget.
Eric: You’re going home, You’re going home.

Here's a clip of it, if you care to see.

[Reality Blurred]

The Dlisted Report

Ben Foster who is best known for playing crazy Russell on Six Feet Under has scored the role of Archangel in X-Men 3. Brett Ratner is helming the sequel with the regulars back on board. X3 will hit theaters next summer. [Variety]

The Weinstein Co. will team up with Warner Bros. to distribute the all CG-animated Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Production is already underway with the film to be released in 2007. [Variety]

Harry Potter and the Quest for Your Cash sold 6.9 Million copies in only 24 hours. Goddamn! [Yahoo]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Omarosa

Birthday Sluts

Vin Diesel (38)
Kristen Bell (25)
Audrey Landers (46)
James Brolin (65)
Paul Verhoeven (67)

Attack of the Clones!

Thanks to thisisforspam for sending me this shit!

Page Six Blind Items

WHICH soulful character actor is causing whispers in a leafy N.J. suburb? Neighbors are shocked that this middle-aged thespian splits his time between two "wives" and two families in the same town

Dan Akroyd?

WHICH starlet knows how to score drugs wherever she goes? On location, she called the local college drug dealer, ordered $600 worth of cocaine and told him to bring his friends over. But when the crowd got there, she grabbed the coke, and kicked everyone out.

HoHan! She's currently on location in MN!

[Page Six]

It's a Chocolate Weekend!

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is the number one movie this weekend. Bringing in a total of $55.4 Million. Owen Wilson's Wedding Crashers opened in at number two with an impressive $32.2 Million. Fantastic Four dropped to number three bringing in an extra $22 Million.

I'm going to go see this Charlie shit today. Did anybody else see this shit?

Hot Slut of the Week: Angelyne

Age: 47
Birthday: 1958
Birth Name: ?

Original Date of Hot Slut of the Day: July 12, 2005
Claim to Fame: Promoting herself all over Los Angeles by reserrectuing billboard with her image and also driving around in her pink corvette.

Where is she now? She ran for the Governer of California in 2003

Why is she Hot Slut of the Week? Was Paris Hilton before Paris Hilton. Known for doing absolutely nothing!

What the hell kind of GD outfit is this?!

Kelly..Kelly..Kelly....no words!

Sandra James!

Sandra Bullock married Jesse James yesterday in Northern California. Yup, that's about it. Pretty boring, right?

[ET]

The Blonde in the Thunderbird!

Suzanne Somers one-woman show The Blonde in the Thunderbird opens tonight on Broadway and in honor of this, I would like to share with you one of my favorite Suzanne quotes.

One night, my friend and I were watching HSN and Suzanne was on hawking some of her tacky jewelry. One of the items was this hideous butterfly toe ring. And Suzanne had a delightful story for it:

"I went to visit ground zero a few weeks after 9/11. A group of us were standing in the middle of it all, watching the firemen clear the debris. And all of a sudden, a large group of butterflies flew past and around us. It was really beautiful. I really believe these butterflies were the spirits of the lives that were lost in 9/11. So, if you get my butterfly toe ring it will be like the spirits of the loved ones that you have lost will be with you forever."

You mean if I buy this cheap piece of crap, my fucking grandmother will always be with me? She was definitely on crack and I loved every minute of it! Now that ladies and gents, was good television!

Hot Slut of the Day!

Susan Clark!

Thanks to Liz!

Birthday Sluts

Carey Hart (30)
Mike Vogel (26)
Molly Parker (33)
Mark Burnett (45)
David Hasselhoff (53)
Lucie Arnaz (54)
Camilla Parker-Bowles (58)
Donald Sutherland (70)