Dlisted: 07/03/2005 - 07/10/2005

Saturday, July 09, 2005

My Dollywood

So I finally has some pics to post of my trip to Dollywood. The players are myself, Markus, Lookee, Dr. Jennifer & KK. Enjoy! Click on them to see bigger version.

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The Other Carey!

Here's Mariah's sister, Alison Carey's mugshot. Alison was arrested AGAIN for turning tricks. Mariah, help a bitch out already!



"god damn it! why can't i make a bitch come?" - cicelyfairfield

The MILF List

InTouch has put together a list of what they believe is the hottest bitches over 40. And lo and behold Sharon Stone has topped this list. Some of these people I agree with, but Sheryl Crow? Sheryl Crow looks like a vintage Louis Vuitton bag!

#1 - Sharon Stone
#2 - Marisa Tomei
#3 - Andie MacDowell
#4 - Sheryl Crow
#5 - John Stamos
#6 - Will Smith
#7 - Kristin Davis
#8 - Michelle Pfeiffer
#9 - Tom Cruise
#10 - Loni Anderson

[Contact Music]

Quote of the Day

"My son is in love with Africa, so he
has been asking for an African brother
or sister." - Angelina Jolie

Hot Slut of the Day!

Julie Newmar!

Birthday Sluts

Courtney Love (41)
Fred Savage (29)
Kelly McGillis (48)
Tom Hanks (49)
Jimmy Smits (50)
Chris Cooper (54)
John Tesh (54)
O.J. Simpson (58)
Brian Dennehey (67)

Friday, July 08, 2005

Zsa Zsa please don't die!

People I never ask you for anything. But I am finally going to do so. Please get your fat fucking asses away from this computer and go to your nearest TV and put on a copy of A Very Brady Sequel and pray to it. Pray with all your heart that Zsa Zsa Gabor who suffered a stroke in her home will survive! She is currently in critical condition.

Please Zsa Zsa don't walk towards the light! I know it looks like diamonds, but don't do it! I still have a couple of more years to make fun of your ass!!!


The Perfect Man

A German company has created my perfect man!

He is a beautiful creature with fur of real gold and eyes of saphire and diamonds. He is worth nearly $80,000!

And I will love you forever if you buy this for me!


Bennifer Wedding Pic!

Star Magazine has scored the first AWFUL pic of Jenny & Benny confirming their love and legitimizing their bastard child!

[Star Magazine]

Katie is really making me sick!

In the August issue of W Magazine which hits newstands July 22nd, Katie Holmes poses in a wedding dress. The things a bitch needs to go through just to make some dough! God, bitch would've been better off playing mega-millions!

Shatin Emerges!

As the world reported yesterday or was it the day before..anyway..Shar Jackson & Quentin Tarantino were photographed leaving the movies! This is seriously an odd couple. However, Shar has babies to feed so I ain't hating on her!


HoHan Eats!


Tess McGill!

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This is the hottest slut ever! I am moving into an office at my job, and as soon as I do I'm calling people and saying "Cyn, guess where I am?"

This Hotel's the Pitt's!

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"I Love You Brad"

George Clooney
and his husband, Brad Pitt are going into bidness with Cindy's mole. No, really with Cindy Crawford's hubbby, Rande Gerber. The three are planning to build a hotel and casino in Las Vegas.

The New York Post states: "George and Brad are not putting in any money, but they will be getting a percentage of the profits,"

George and Brad are to be the face of the hotel with Brad consulting on the design concept.

I'm thinking Hotel Keep it on the Down Low. This way, George and Brad have a beautiful and secret love nest they can share!


The Photoshop Awards: Mariah Carey


Vanity Fair's August Cover!!!

[Gallery of the Absurd]

Spot the Cock?!

Click here for a "bigger" version

[Oh No They Didn't]

Goodyear blimp watch out!

AOL is reporting that Mo'Nique is preggers with fucking TWINS! The baby daddy is not known, however Mo'Nique was dating Gerard Levert a few months ago. But it ain't his ass!

Mo'Nique already looks like she's pregnant! Can you imagine when she gets to be 7 months. She's going to fucking fly off into the sky!

But on a serious note..congrats to Mo'Nique. You are one of the funniest bitches around! Just please wear concrete shoes around your 6th month. I don't want to lose you!

[AOL Black Voices]

Together Forever!

"I hate your fucking ass"
Paris: "I hate your ass AND face!"
Honey-Child: "These bitches are stupid."
Tinkerbell: "I hope they drop our asses so finally this misery will end!"

gave Kimberly Stewart a screen test to star alongside Paris Hilton in the next Simple Life. However Fox doesn't think Kimberly has what it takes. And Fox would also have to up the budget since Kimmy's face would break so many lenses.

Fox also asked Paris if she had any other girlfriends that could possibly star and Paris couldn't come up with anybody. Duh, Kimmy was a safe bet because she's ugly as shit and will make Paris look perfect!

So word is now that Nicole Richie is in talks to return to the show. Who watches this shit anymore? I know I don't. So if I don't watch this shit, it must be like sooo terrible. Because I seriously watch anything. If there was a show that involved a monkey washing a cat, I could watch that shit over and over again. And sober!

[Oh No They Didn't!]


Herbie Hancock recently recorded a track for Christina Aguilera's upcoming album and said he was "blown" away by her singing abilities.

The Jazz Legend said: "I knew she could sing. I knew she could really sing. But I didn't know she could sing like that. She knocked me out. She did her first take and I said, 'Well, you nailed it."

I think since he's like 120 years old, his quote was miscommunicated. I think he meant to say: "I knew she could blow. But I didn't know she could blow like that. She knocked me out. She blew me. I
nailed that."

[Contact Music]

Cheeto & Redbull

The NY Daily News is reporting that Brit Brit is expecting twins! Brit's rep has not confirmed or denied this shit.

I hope Brit Brit is having twins, only because the names of those two are going to be so hot. Since she's southern, I'm thinking like two-names each. Here are my thoughts:

Cheeto-Lynn & Redbull-Bryan
Pickle-Lane & Toxic-Jean
KFC-James & Mickey-Dee

[New York Daily News]

That's one way to get a girl!

Tommy Lee has revealed how he got Pammy Anderson into his bed! He licked her face! Like a fucking dog!

Tommy said: "I licked her face! It's right to the point. In general, people like to get licked.I absolutely would recommend it."

The only place I like to get licked is where the sun don't shine! And he could've punched Pammy and she probably would've pounced on that! Wait, didn't he punch her ass?

[Female First]

Crack Baby!

Is Whitney Houston really going to ruin another bitches life? Bobby Brown said: "We're trying for another baby. She wants a boy, and I want her to be happy."

It's so gross because on their reality show Bobby is always asking Whitney if he can impregnate her. Like is that supposed to be romantic?

This is not right! Two crackheads can have a baby, but if two men or two women have a baby suddenly this kid is Satan's spawn!

[Female First]


"Hey, Mariah...I heard you took a picture with some old homeless guy. Imagine the publicity you could get if I just followed you around everywhere and looked hungry and poor? I promise, I'm cheaper than your sister!" - Anonymous 6:25pm

The Dlisted Report

Please not a 9/11 movie! Please! Oliver Stone will direct and Nicolas Cage will star in a movie about the rescue of two police officers from the rubble of the World Trade Center. Awful Awful! [Variety]

Joely Fisher has joined the cast of Desperate Housewives for multiple episodes. She will play Lynette's new boss. [Variety]

Suzanne Somers one-woman show The Girl in the Thunderbird starts performances tonight on Broadway. This bitch is hot. I love to watch her on HSN when I'm drunk! [Playbill]

R.I.P. Devonric & Jon from Kept

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Hot Sluts of the Day!

The Fantanas!

Thanks to Karen E for suggestion!

Birthday Sluts

Billy Crudup (37)
Sophia Bush (23)
Milo Ventimiglia (28)
Kathleen Robertson (32)
Joan Osborne (43)
Toby Keith (44)
Kevin Bacon (47)
Angelica Houston (54)
Janice Pennington (60)
Jeffrey Tambor (61)

Dakota Fanning is an alien!

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So last night, Michael K, Markus and I went to see War of the Worlds. That bitch Dakota Fanning is a fucking alien! She's so fucking freaky. That's why all the aliens kept chasing her ass---because she's their queen! She's such a stupid bitch in this movie. She's supposed to be ten but she acts four, and she dresses like a hooker. There's one part where she sings. Everyone is so mesmerized by her talents that they are probably going to give this bitch an Oscar, Golden Globe, Tony, Grammy, Emmy and GLAAD Media Award for her performance in War of the Worlds. We have to stop this insanity!

Thursday, July 07, 2005


Here's MK Olsen and her giant boyfriend spending a beautiful day in Hawaii by jumping on a trampoline! MK looks very happy and hopefully she stopped puking her guts out and is finally going to find happiness just like she did as Michelle Tanner!

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Alison Carey is the black sheep!

older sister Alison has been arrested again for turning tricks! Alison Carey, 43 and HIV+ tried to turn tricks with the wrong dude, an undercover police mans!

A police source said: "She offered to engage in sexual conduct for $250 in cash,"

Alison is no longer close with her sister Mariah nor any one of her other family members. Can't Mariah help this bitch out? That's a cold! Why you gotta do your sister that way?

[The Washington Times]

Michael K on MySpace

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