Someone's loooooking!

Queer Eye for the Straight Guy's Jai Rodriguez I guess is looking for someone to cuddle with.

Here's his Match.com ad!

Thanks to Lahoma for sending me this shit!

Hot Slut of the Day!

Shauna Sands

Birthday Sluts

Joshua Jackson (27)
Matt McGrath (36)
Hugh Laurie (46)
Gene Wilder (72)

Jessica's Boot-ey!

Jessica Simpson's video for her cover of These Boots are Made for Walkin' has hit the internet. She looks hot and all, but she kind of bugs me. Her legs are a little too short and the whole car washing thing is a bit porn-ish. But it's still hot and I'm sure you'll salivate over this, shoes!

Click here to see Jessica in all her glory!

Starbucks has brainwashed our celebs!

Cityrag has uncovered the millions of dollars worth of product placement Starbucks is getting for free from our celebs! You know how many fucking times Britney, Paris and Nicole have been photographed with a fucking mochachinno? Like a million!

Read that shit here!

Gary Coleman lives forever!

Vh1 has named Gary Coleman star of Diff'rent Strokes as the number 1 child star of all-time! He still is a fucking child star. Here's the list:

#1 - Gary Coleman
#2 - Macaulay Culkins
#3 - The Olsen Twins
#4 - Jodie Foster
#5 - Drew Barrymore
#6 - Emmanuel Lewis
#7 - Ron Howard
#8 - Corey Feldman
#9 - Maureen McCormick
#10 - Danny Bonaduce

[source]

Fag Hags

Kathy Hilton and her skanky daughter, Paris will be the grand marshals of the Los Angeles Gay & Lesbian parade. That's hot.

[source]

TGIF!

From these fags and me!

So I went to see Batman Begins...

That shit was hot. So much better than all the other ones. You sluts would like it. Katie Holmes sucks though. At least she's got Tom.

Thanks Coco for the tix!

Shakira's looking rough!

Oooof!

This is a travesty!

The Spice Girls were set to reunite for Live 8 in England which is basically a huge benefit. But, the concert's organizer has shut them out! Bob Geldof said:"I can't afford to have bands who won't pull the crowds. This is a political event, not a cultural one.

"If I get people who are currently selling 15 million albums, then there's an audience of at least 15 million people for the concert. It's a question of who is popular right now; that's the way it is.

"The whole thing with the Spice Girls isn't about my personal taste - my kids sing their stuff. But there just aren't enough people out there who would want to watch them."

Oh hell no! It's war!

[source]

Kelly Monaco is so hot!

She was practically naked on Dancing with the Stars the other night!



[source]

Jack Osbourne is no longer a fat fuck!

Let's hope he's fucking giving his sister some advice! That bitch is still nasty!

[source]

Going over the deep end!

Madge is a fucking fanatic! Madonna has just bought a $3 Million London home which she plans to use as "Hotel Kabbalah." She plans to use the space as a hotel and center for fellow followers.

One resident is pissed and said:"Having a Kabbalah centre would be totally inappropriate It is a seriously manipulative sect which is very good at getting people's money, including Madonna's".

This bitch is crazy! I'm surprised she hasn't fucking given her children to the Kabbalah! That's next!

Ben's Fruit Basket

Kevin Smith was always on the lookout while filming Jersey Girl with Ben Affleck. It seems that Ben would constantly play a practical joke on him called "The Fruit Basket."

Kevin said: "I'd be sitting in the director's chair and I'd be watching a playback, and he'd stand behind me. Every once in a while I'd feel something on my neck. I'd be like, 'What the fuck was that?' And I'd turn around and he'd have his scrotum out and resting on my neck I was like, 'What the fuck is wrong with you, dude?'" .

GAY!

[source]

The Pink Panther? Eh, not so much.

Sony Pictures has pulled The Pink Panther from being released on August 5th. They have also pulled the trailer from theaters after the film received disappointing reviews from online critics. The flick which stars Kevin Kline, Steve Martin & Beyonce will now be released in February.

[source]

Adam Brody offers you $100

The O.C. Star is offering $100 to anybody who can track down aTV commercial he did for an acne cream.

He said: "My first commercial was for a medication grade acne (treatment)... they had to put me in like two hours of make-up... I've never seen it, but my friends have seen it. They did a 'before' and 'after' in the commercial and I started out with a lot of acne. And then they go to 'after' and I was like, 'Well at least the audience will know that I really don't have huge boils on my face because we'll clean it off.' And they were like, 'Well, actually not so, buddy, because you'd have tons of acne scars.' So then (in my 'after' scene) I hug my mom and I'm all like pock-marked. That's in existence somewhere and $100 to whoever finds it! I've never seen it."

[source]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Cynthia McFadden!

Birthday Sluts

Shane West (27)
Tara Lipinski (23)
LeeLee Sobieski (23)
Hoku (24)
Faith Evans (32)
Gina Gersohn (43)
Kim Deal (44)

Ridiculous eBay Item of the Day

Is this fucking for serious? Somebody is fucking selling Angelina & Brad Pitt's air?! WTF!



You are bidding on
ONE
Jar of Celebrity Air
which was captured at the movie premiere of
“Mr. & Mrs. Smith”
starring
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt.

The jar is a wide mouth, one-quart sized mason jar, which was cleaned and sterilized prior to being brought to the collection site, the premiere of
“Mr. & Mrs. Smith”
which was held on June 7, 2005 in Westwood Village, California.



You know some motherfucking crazy bitch will buy this shit!

Special thanks to Dr. Jennifer for sending me this shit!

Nip Slip of the Day!

[source]

Dr. Durst

Our favorite piece of trash, Fred Durst has come up with the perfect cure for the common hangover! British TV host Vernon Kay said he met with Fred Durst in Miami and Freddy introduced Vernon to the miracle of this cure!

Vernon said: "I met Fred Durst in Miami and he told me about this baby drink called Pedialyte. I swear to God, half an hour later you feel as right as rain. Fred's favourite flavour is blackcurrant. Mine is apple."

Note to Self: Head to Rite-Aid and buy a six-pack of Pedialyte.

[source]

Don't Screw with Seal!

Oooooh...Seal got all pissed when a photog tried to get some pictures of him, Heidi and her baby while eating lunch. He was going to be some bitches down!











[source]

Beware of Monkeyboy!

Tom Cruise was on Leno and acted the fool, yet again...









[source]

Sonya "The Black Widow" Thomas strikes again!

10 boxes of popcorn in 12 minutes!







[source]

The Photoshop Awards: Pamela Anderson in Men Magazine

Damn, some retoucher was working overtime for this. She's looking like Lil' Kim!











[source]

Free Katie!

Everyone let's get together and save this girl! She needs us now more than ever! You can do your part by sporting these ugly t-shirts and saving America's sweetheart from the aliens of Scientology!

Jesus, is that you?

Rosalie Lawson of Florida was about to indulge in a delicious potatoe chip when she stopped and couldn't believe what she saw!

She said: "I said to myself: Oh my goodness I showed it to my husband Jerry and he was pretty amazed too."

Rosalie considers herself deeply religious and is currently deciding what to do with it. Six-months ago another Florida woman discovered Jesus in her sandwhich and sold it for $30k on eBay.

Rosalie, be a smart bitch and sell it to a dumb bitch!

[source]

Angie's in Mexico City!

She and Bradley are busy promoting in Mexico City. With that look on her face, I guess she just passed some gas!



[source]

Homeless Love

Garner & Affleck are in Vancouver while she's shooting a film. She looks cute, but damn does he have pink eye or something?



[source]

Madge will tear up your ear drums!

Madonna isn't a very good actress or singer, we all know this. What's she good at? Well, I think she's a good performer and an excellent business woman. With that being said, she has said that a future project she has in mind is to ruin the credibility of London theater by starring in an original musical which she is planning to star.

She said: "My last play sold out within hours. I never missed a performance and above all, I loved it so much. I'm planning on hooking up again with a musical mentor who I admire so much."

I got news for you, the reason why your play sold out is because people needed a fucking good laugh!

[source]

Scary Spice needs your sperm!

Melanie Brown's biological clock is ticking again! The 30yo Spice Girl already has a daughter by her ex-husband. But she's getting the itchin' again and she's ready to get turkey basted in order to have a baby!

She said:"I definitely see myself having more children. But I'm single. I've got to find the right guy yet, or the right donor!"

Everybody's doing it Mel, why not? And you may get a better orgasm from the baster!

[source]

And the groveling begins...

Russell Crowe is deeply upset he threw a fucking phone at someone! Russell was on Letterman last night in which he explained why he assaulted an innocent man! If you don't know already, Russell was arrested for throwing a telephone at an employee at The Mercer Hotel in NYC where he was staying. He told the Daily Telegraph:

"I am in a lot of trouble. I'm at the bottom of a well. I can't communicate how dark my life is right now. I will spend the rest of my life, if it takes it, trying to make it up with my wife. I'm very sorry for my actions. I know it's my fault. We flew over and back again in 20 hours. Not being able to tell your wife you're safe and OK is frustrating... I'm not trying to be pessimistic I'm just looking at what the situation is. It's a seven year jail sentence."

"The only hope I've got is to rely on his good graces. I wouldn't imagine he feels any obligation to do anything nice and I can understand that position completely."

You know, I've been fucking lonely too but you don't see my ass throwing a payphone at some bitch at the Holiday Inn! Who does he think he fucking is!

[source]

Beyonce's hairy chocha!

Damn girl, take a razor to that shit! Unless Jay-Z likes pulling hairs out of his teeth!



[source]

Finger Fucking!

When I read this I nearly died. Bobby Brown's new reality serious Being Bobby Brown premieres June 30th. World of Wonder has a very funny clip of it. And Popbitch posted a little tidbit of an episode.

Being Bobby Brown, starts end June: The couple's drugged-up ghetto lifestyle in full glare. One episode has Bobby describing how he helped his wife with her constipation, by inserting his fingers to massage it out. Whitney says, "When I told my girlfriends about it, they said 'That's real love, baby. That's real black love.'" Bobby then holds up four fingers and wiggles them in front of the camera.

I love black love!

[source]

K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

Scarlett Johanssen & Josh Hartnett are Hollywood's new boring couple of the moment. I think they met while filming The Black Dahlia or some shit. She's a slut! I guess she dumped Jared Leto for this stick-in-the-mud!



[source]

Hot Slut of the Day!

Jane "I Don't Wanna Fall in Love" Child!

Birthday Sluts

Johnny Depp (42)
Freddie Highmore (13)
Natalie Portman (24)
Gloria Reuben (41)
Michael J. Fox (44)

BREAKING NEWS!!!

A reader just e-mailed me this:

I heard through a friend that Lark Voorhies' (Ms. Lisa Turtle herself) family had to stage an intervention for her bc she's apparently been cracked out for quite some time. Kinda funny - yet, somehow, oddly expected.

Get better Lisa Turtle! Remember Dlisted loves you!

Big Brother wants Paris!

The German version of Big Brother is trying to lure Paris Hilton to join their cast of misfits. They have offered the skanky heiress $1.6 Million dollars to basically lay around and do nothing, kind of like what she does now.

Paris has confirmed she's considering their offer.

[source]

R.I.P. Dewberry from Hell's Kitchen

Is Paris buying another fucking dog?

And is that HUGE ring her engagement ring? That's costume jewelry!



Ewww, her feet are straight up gnarly! That's some skeletor shit!

The Pope Doll!

$200 for this piece of crap! But I still want one!



[source]

Madonna is plastic!

Madonna has released her final children's book Lotsa de Casha. She had some kind of book reading at Borders in New York City. She looks so weird to me for some reason!









[source]

HoHan becomes BlowHan!

TVGasm is reporting that a "source" close to them and HoHan is stating that she is skinny due to blow and Dexetrim.

Rumors have been circulating the Hollywood party scene for quite a while about Lindsay's bathroom stall antics with other celebutants such as Nicole Richie and even an Olsen twin, though TVgasm didn't really care on account of the fact that it was Lindsay Lohan and even in a vacuum, she sucks.

But once an acquaintance of mine, and part of the Lohan elite, agreed to give me some confirmation information on conditions of anonymity, suddenly it peaked my journalistic interest. Crazy Blowhan's "partying is getting out of control," the source reports. "She's gone from occasional coke use to a full on fiend; it's scary."

Black guys love HoHan!

HoHan told the July edition of Elle Magazine: "Black guys love me- Damon (Dash), P. Diddy. 50 cent called my agent for my number. He said he was watching Mean Girls and loved it. I was freaking out! The first thing I thought was, Where's Eminem? I'm in love with him!"

[source]

Angie & Brad do the W

Here's some shoddy images of the forthcoming 60-page spread of Angelina and Brad in W Magazine. That shit is hot.
















[source]

The Mr. and Mrs. Smith Premiere

This shit was last night and HoHan decided to skanktify the mood! I love the tension between Angie and Brad. A love like theirs cannot be denied!

Here's Nicolette with her creepy boyfriend!


Cindy Crawford's not aging too well!


Kimberly Stewart makes HoHan looks like a prim and proper lady!


Angie is all woman!


Oops Brad just got herpes!


Yes, Angie his penis is still the same size. But you're hot for checking!


Don't ever take a picture with Angie! You will be washed out!


[source]

Madonna album title revealed!

Madonna's newest album will be called Defying Gravity. Kind of like her face. The album is about to be released later this year.

Also being released will be another Madge documentary which she filmed during her last tour. MADONNA: I'M GOING TO TELL YOU A SECRET, based on THE SECRET, by MICHAEL BERG, a guru for Madonna's Kaballah faith.

Madge hopes that this flick will inspire other sluts to get spiritual. Listen Madge, I'm all for you being into that shit. But hell no am I giving 10% of my income to anybody, including the IRS! Just kidding IRS!

[source]

Hawaii 5-0 the Movie?

When will these Hollywood sluts stop?! Soon, we're going to see fucking Small Wonder the Movie. Anyhow, it seems that Ben Affleck is interested in bringing Hawaii 5-0 to the big screen. George Nolfi (Ocean's 11) is currently writing the script.

Stop them! Something must be done!

[source]

Nicky gives Tom a warning!

Tom Cruise's ex-wife, Nicole Kidman has given a warning to Tom. Nicole thinks that the publicity stunts TomKat has been displaying all over the world is doing nothing to legitimize their relationship. She tells style magazine Vanity Fair, "In terms of your life, if you start to exploit it, then what's real, and what's not? What's yours, and what isn't?

Duh Nicky, that's because it is fake! You stupid bitch!

[source]

MI3 gets date and cast!

Mission Impossible: 3 starts filming July 18th in Italy with a release date of May 5, 2006. JJ Abrams of Lost and Alias fame will direct. The cast has been confirmed as Tom Cruise, Ving Rhames, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Michelle Monaghan and Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Michelle Yeoh has been rumored to join the cast, but nothing has been confirmed.

Filming will take place all over Europe, US and Asia.

[source]

Mrs. Robinson is dead!

This is sad!

Hot Slut of the Day!

Wilford Brimley!

For Liz!

Birthday Sluts

Joan Rivers (72)
Kanye West (28)
Julianna Marguiles (39)
Sonia Braga (55)
Nancy Sinatra (65)

Dlisted Jukebox

The new Black Eyed Peas album Monkey Business ain't so bad. It's not better than their last one, but it's ok. Fergie is such a slut! Here's some of my favorite tracks:

The Black Eyed Peas "Don't Phunk with my Heart"

The Black Eyed Peas "Don't Lie"

The Black Eyed Peas "My Humps"

The Black Eyed Peas "Going Gone" (Ft. Jack Johnson)

Hot Slut of The Week: The Baroness!

Baroness Anastasia DeCobray
(possible alias)

Birthplace: somewhere in Europe

First Appearance:
G.I. JOE #1 (July 1982)

Anastasia DeCobray was born somewhere in Europe in 1953 to wealthy aristocrats who spoiled her. Her brother, Eugen, had been part of a humanitarian effort to bring medical supplies to the natives of Vietnam during the Vietnam War. The supplies were to be distributed to the people regardless of their political affiliation. During the Tet offensive, Eugen had been in Saigon and Anastasia, only 15 years old, came along since she was on Christmas break from her boarding school. When they arrived, a warehouse which was supposed to be filled with the supplies was empty. He discovered that his contacts were selling the supplies to buy weapons. When DeCobray found out, the two men shot him dead. At that moment, a young soldier -- Snake-Eyes -- arrived and killed the two men. Anastasia rushed into the room and saw Snake-Eyes there, believing he killed all three men. Taken away before Snake-Eyes was cleared, Anastasia became angry, bitter and disillusioned. She soon became a radical student activist and eventually an international terrorist.

[source]

Congratulations to The Baroness for becoming Dlisted's Hot Slut of the Week!

Paris Hilton a Thespian?

I remember about a year ago that there was talks about Mariah Carey trying to land a role in a revival of The Prince and the Showgirl (there was a film version starring Marilyn Monroe) in London's West End. Pamela Anderson was also tipped to star at one point. But now it seems that producers are interested in fucking Paris Hilton. This bitch can hardly speak english, how is she going to do a play 8 times a week?!?

Paris said: "I've auditioned and they loved me. It's all about dates and contracts now."

Oh and by "auditioned" she means gave everyone head.

[source]

Keanu Reeves married?!?

Britian's tabloid The Daily Star is reporting that Keanu Reeves got hitched LAST MONTH. I don't believe this!

A source told Britain's Daily Star newspaper: "Keanu and Autumn wanted something really low-key so opted for a quiet civil ceremony with only family and friends.
"They don't like causing a fuss. It was at a small restaurant in Los Angeles and was very simple and chic".

I'm so confused, because I thought he was dating Lynn Collins. I refuse to believe this!

[source]

Nicky Kidman is a fucking bore

Nicole Kidman hates going to clubs, because gets bored. God, she's dull!

She said: "To be honest, I'm not out that much. I went to a nightclub the other night and I was sitting there and a guy said to me, 'So, do you do this a lot?' And I said, 'Actually, no... because I really don't get a lot from it.'

"You're sitting in a nightclub and you're going. 'Hello! And you are?' I can't hear, don't bother talking. Okay, I'm gonna go now, it's 1am and I've got to get up early!' What's the point?

"I mean, when you're in your 20s maybe, but I feel a bit ridiculous."

This bitch is fucking for real!

[source]

HoHan and Ashlee will kill eachother!

HoHan is still furious over the fact that Ashlee stole her man, Wilmer Valderrama. Well, HoHan threw a party at The Standard hotel in Los Angeles after the MTV Movie Awards.

A source says: "Jessica and Ashlee pulled up, and as hotel employees were clearing a table for them at Lindsay's party, Lindsay supposedly found out and said, 'No way — they are not coming to my party.' And the guy at the door told the Simpsons that [Lohan] said to go away,"

At Jimmy's party, Jessica was fucking pissed and said that if HoHan showed up to this party, she would beat her ass!

Another source said: "She was screaming how she was going to kick her butt, and had to be separated from Lindsay. Ashlee wasn't so upset, but Jessica was furious because she says she is a star and should be let in everywhere."

A rep for Lohan said, "Maybe their names got misplaced on the list."

A rep for Ashlee said, "Ashlee and Jessica had a great time at Jimmy's party, which was the hottest one of the night."

Oh hell yeah! It is on!

[source]

Do blondes have more fun?

Brad Pitt I guess is trying to get over Jenny Aniston by going blonde. He's sporting a lovely new look. That shit looks like he used some chlorox with a little Sun-In. Ghetto!

Ahahaha!!

Russell Crowe got served!

Not a day goes by without news about Posh!

Yes sluts, my favorite Posh Beckham is on a news roll these days! Well, it seems that she has been chosen as one of Liz Hurley's bridesmaids. Liz is expected to wed Arun Nayar later this year.

Victoria said: "Elizabeth said when she gets married I will be her bridesmaid. I said I bet she's going to put me in something really frumpy - and with flat shoes."

Vicky is the kind of bitch that she will wear and look better than Liz. I guess that's not that hard.

[source]

Britney Jr.

Is Britney Spears having a girl? Brit was seen buying some little girl shit at an L.A. clothing store. She bought her some baby uggs, a baby shirt with the words "Future Milf" and a bong.

Spederline have yet to disclose the sex of the baby.

[source]

Message to Katie, this isn't going to win you an Oscar!

I guess it's Katie's turn to gush. The herpes-ridden slut has been gushing about her love with midget Tom Cruise. She said:"love that, I think that's great. He's such a bright light and he's such a wonderful, kind person. I miss him when he leaves the room. I love him.

"We're happy, why not share it. I'm so happy. I'm so thrilled and I want to tell the whole world. He's amazing. I met Tom one special day in April and I'm so in love... I'm the happiest I've ever been."

What she meant to say was: "He's actually a fag, but my career is in the dumps since First Daughter so I really need this shit right now. Don't fuck this up for me!"

[source]

Another bad horror film remake!

Yup, it's true they have decided to remake 1978's Piranha. Oooh, I used to watch this shit when I was little and it scared the shit out of me!

In the original Piranha, a prehistoric strain of the feisty fish is unleashed by a subterranean tremor in Arizona's Lake Havasu just as the college crowd shows up to frolic in the lake.

Production begins sometime this fall. Damn, why can't Hollywood come up with something original. Like Trout? Perhaps? Or Angel fish? Or Seahorse?

[source]

Worst movie idea of the day!

I don't know why this got me laughing, but Will Smith & Nicolas Cage have signed on to a film called Time Share.

The comedy concerns two fathers who lock horns when they discover their families are booked into the same time-share residence during what should have been their dream vacation.

Time Share? What the fuck. Next there's going to be a movie called Duplex, oh there is already one. Shit!

[source]

MK strikes again!

I'm not sure if she gets dressed in the light. I'm all for teen rebellion, but this is fucked up! Bitch get yourself together! If you're not going to put your money to good use then give it to me bitch!

Hot Slut of the Day!

Carol Kane!

Birthday Sluts

Prince (47)
Anna Kournikova (24)
Liam Neeson (53)

Deep Throat!

Jessica Simpson wasn't shooting a porno, she was actually shooting the video for her remake of "These Boots Are Made For Walking" for her upcoming Dukes of Hazzard flick. Girl, work it out! Shoes, I know you would tear that ass up!

White Trash Graduation!

Britney played good wife and attended the graduation of her brother-in-law. Damn that shit looks ghetto. You know they went to the White Castle to celebrate after this shit. Oooh and Federline's brother is so going to be a serial killer one day. He's creepy!

What the hell is Goldenballs?

Posh Spice, the most gorgeous woman on this earth has lashed out against reports that her man is cheating on her skanky ass! She says: "I know some people don't want to believe it but we really are very happy. Everything about my life is good. I'm so proud of David. He's still Goldenballs."

Somebody fill me in...what is goldenballs? Does that mean she's into piss?

[source]

NEWS FLASH! Liz Taylor's dog bites the big one!

Elizabeth Taylor has a reason to act crazier than usual, her prized pooch Sugar has kicked the bucket! She said earlier in the year: "I've never loved a dog like this in my life. It's amazing. Sometimes I think there's a person in there. There's something to say for this kind of love - it's unconditional."

Liz is a crazy bitch! You know Sugar was a stuffed animal and the bitch didn't figure it out until last week in which she figured he'd died!

[source]

R.I.P. Mike from Kept

Chloe Sevigny is a walking Fashion Don't!

As YoMammy would say "Got-Dayum!"

Gwen Stefani looks to' up from the flo' up!

MK Olsen hates you!

The MTV Movie Awards

Who the hell would want to touch Sandy Bullock?


Samuel L. Jackson tells HoHan that he'd like his snake to venture into her cave.


Jessica Simpson demonstrates the oral techniques she used on Johnny Knoxville.


Dakota Fanning is so old now! I bet you SHE was Tom's first choice as his new girlfriend, but his lawyers weren't into that shit!


Mariah Carey attempted to take a dump on stage. When you gotta go, you gotta go!


Ewww she so envisions Dollar signs on him just to get through this!


The Breakfast Clubbers reunited! Damn they are older than Jesus!


Nicole Kidman couldn't make it, so they just used a wax figure of her instead.

Damn, even I'd do her!

Jessica Alba has hot tits!


[source]

The Poseidon Adventure gets 4!

The remake of the 1972 cult classic The Poseidon Adventure has cast 4 characters. Kurt Russell, Richard Dreyfuss, Emmy Rossum and Mike Vogel have joined Wolfgang Petersen's remake.

The Hollywood Reporter says Russell is playing an ex-fireman and mayor who is traveling with his daughter (Rossum) and her boyfriend (Vogel). Dreyfuss plays a gay man whose relationship breaks up just before departure.

Shooting begins June 18th in Los Angeles.

[source]

Angelina Jolie will sue yo ass!

I guess Angie and Brad really don't want to tell the world they are fucking, just yet. Both are set to begin press for Mr. And Mrs. Smith and they are laying down the law with reporters. Angie's lawyer sent out this statement: "Interviewer will not ask Ms. Jolie any questions regarding her personal relationships. In the event Interviewer does ask Ms. Jolie any questions regarding her personal relationships, Ms. Jolie will have the right to immediately terminate the interview and leave. The interview may only be used to promote the Picture. In no event may Interviewer be entitled to run all or any portion of the Interview in connection with any other story . . . The interview will not be used in a manner that is disparaging, demeaning or derogatory to Ms. Jolie. If an interviewer does not comply, he or she can be sued for an undiclosed amount."

[source]

Madonna thinks she's so witty and so fucking English!

She's from Michigan for fuck's sake! Oh, these pics are taken from some shithole magazine she was in, recently.

Will Russell ever learn?

Russell Crowe tries so hard to be Colin Farrell, but he's too fat! Well the idiot was arrested for pulling a Naomi Campbell and throwing a telephone at an employee at a New York hotel he's staying at. At 4:30am this morning Russell was arrested at The Mercer Hotel after he threw a phone at an employee during a fight.

For the employees sake, I hope it wasn't one of those fax/phones that would suck. That would hurt.

[source]

Becks is sick of Posh Pussy!

David Beckham is at it again! Apparently, he was photographed kissing another chick that wasn't his gorgeous wife, Victoria Beckham. The photographer that took the pics said: "They kissed for 15 to 20 seconds and it looked full frontal on the lips. His wife Victoria would not have been happy."

I bet you they have an open marriage, because Posh cannot be bothered with sex! She didn't even carry those kids, she bought them! She hates sex! That's my guess!

[source]

Meanwhile...MK Olsen continues to look like trash!

HoHan's looking better!

I usually think she looks skanky, but she was looking good when she went out a few nights ago.

Posh & Becks stateside!

And she's still perfection, I don't care what you skanks say!

X3 gets a pilot!

Since Matthew "Layer Cake" Vaughn has jumped shipped, Brett Ratner has officially been announced as his replacement. Also, Maggie Grace of Lost fame has been confirmed as the role of Kitty Pryde. Shooting will begin this August for a Memorial Day 2006 release!

[source]

R.I.P. Jose from Popularity Contest

Bitch gets Lost!

It's official! There was much speculation on Michelle Rodriguez's whole role on the season finale of Lost. Well, the bitch will be back full-time next season as a regular. She will play some kind of mysterious, latina bitch!

The Tony Awards blow!

So, I made Markus sit and watch the Tony Awards last night. God they sucked! Anyway, but Chita Rivera was there and she straight up looks like a turnip! Put her out to pasture, y'all!

Hot Slut of the Day!

Jessica Sierra from American Idol, got she's such trash!

Birthday Sluts

Robert Englund (56)
Uncle Kracker (31)
Max Casella (38)
Paul Biamatti (38)
Colin Quinn (46)
Sandra Bernhard (50)
Harvey Fierstein (51)

The Gossip that I Missed!

So much gossip, so little time! Here's a recap of everything I fucking miss while I was gone!

Stupid bitch, Kelly Osbourne is back in Rehab! Bitch get yourself clean and get to a fat farm not a drug clinic!

Jack White married model Karen Elson in some weird tribal Amazon wedding. Bitch had to go and outdo Renee!

Rachel Weisz went and got herself engaged to Darren Afronsky.

Ozzy Osbourne is writing a musical. Write? He can barely talk.

Paris Hilton has decided to limit her STD's to one person for the time being. The slut got engaged!

Christian Slater got his stupid ass arrested for grabbing some booty on the street. Bitch the world ain't your personal strip club! Keep your hands to yourself like they taught your ass in kindergarten!

The News that I missed!

Since I was gone a whole fucking week, I missed a lot of hot news. So here's just a recap of the past week's event which most of you have probably already heard!

Rent the Movie's trailer debuted. Yeah it's gonna suck!

Michelle Yeoh has joined Mission Impossible III as Tom Cruise's ex-wife. China has been confirmed as a location. At least he'll be the tallest one for once!

Matthew Vaughn has left the director's chair for X-Men 3 due to personal problems. Brett Ratner or John Moore will take his place to bring us yet another piece of Hollywood crap that I will no doubt buy a ticket for!

Martha Plimpton will take over for Parker Posey in Off-Broadway's Hurlyburly. Parker's off to Australia to film Superman!

Behold sluts!

I have returned! First of all, thanks to Lahoma00 for being a hot bitch and writing some hot fucking articles. That shit made me laugh and he is a doll for taking time out of his busy schedule to help me out. That cunt is a class act in my book. Anyhow, so let me discuss my vacay with you fucking bitches. First of all, it was all fine and dandy till we land in St. Maarten and my boyfriend Mark notices that some things are missing from his fucking bag. Such as: iPod Shuffle, Digital Camera, Sunglasses and his cell phone charger. Some ghetto ass bitch stole shit from his bag! So that kind of dampered the trip just a bit, but I fucking got over it. I didn't bring my camera, because his is better so we didn't get much pics. We had to buy some cheap ass disposable one, how fucking embarrassing. Anyway, when I get those developed and scanned I'll show you some of the better ones. Basically, the rest of my vacation was spent laying in the sun, getting bit my mosquitos and reading Hollywood Divorces.

So, to make a long story short I'm back sluts...you are hot cunts and I love you all. I need to go unpack now, but once I'm done I'll write some hot shit.

xoxoxoMichael K

Hot Slut of the Day!

Julie Chen!

Birthday Sluts

Marky Mark (34)
Chad Allen (31)
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