Dlisted: 05/29/2005 - 06/05/2005

Saturday, June 04, 2005

Thanks bitches!

Michael K is back from vacation tomorow and will be back to posting for you bitches! Thanks for letting me post here and for everyone's kind words. Bye! XOXOX

Hot Slut of the Day!

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XUXA!

Friday, June 03, 2005

Nintendo!

Everyone go to this fucking website....you can download movies of Nintendo games being beaten in like three minutes! Super Mario Brothers and Ducktales is on this shit!

Small Wonder!

Look at this ad for the TV show Small Wonder. Why hasn't Tiffany Brisette been hot slut of the day? Michael K, we have to change that!

Hot Slut of the Day!

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Vicki Lawrence!

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Hot Slut of the Day!

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Marsha Warfield!

12 Questions with.....George Alley

Philadelphia based George Alley is a dancer, choreographer, musician and icon. I recently sat down with him to discuss some important issues revolving around his life and work.

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1. Who is your style icon and why?

My style icon would be clearly Pete Burns, due to his ability to combine all sorts of Westwood throughout the ages with transgendered themes of glamour and weaponry. His looks cut like a knife and stab people in the throat.

2. If you were about to die and could have dinner with only five people, who would they be and what would you eat?

First of all, I would invite my hairdresser because the most important thing you can have, after talent, is a good hairdresser. Secondly, I would invite Imelda Marcos because if I am going to walk that long lonely road to hell, I would need the appropriate shoes. Thirdly, I would invite a cinematographer who is experienced with older women of the silver screen so that I could be photographed beautifully and show that the light picks up my face perfectly from every angle. Fourth and Five would of course be the Olsen Twins and I don’t need to explain why. I would eat glamour, glitter, fashion and fame! I would also invite my boyfriend Phillip because I need sex for a healthy complexion. (When informed he could only invite five people, George replied, “He can sit on my lap.”)

3. You are a dancer and choreographer. Do you feel that Nancy Reagan needs to start dancing?

No.

4. Please explain the significance of Susan Lucci pills moves to your sense of aesthetics.

Susan Lucci allowed herself to become vulnerable both as a person and as an actress by allowing others to drive stars like her over the edge! And showing us her personal psychosis and drug addiction problems via pill moves via spilling pills in front of RuPaul with large pitchers of water. In effect, Lucci's plight can be compared to the seven Stations of the Cross. Like Jesus, with the Lucci martyrdom, she in effect spilled pills on the floor so that we didn’t have to. Long live The Cutting Edge with Erica Kane! Why is not on television right now?

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5. How would you solve the political problems in Djibouti?

Djibouti should really contact Jennifer Lopez’s people as if you have noticed in the past few years, J Lo’s booty has dramatically decreased and firmed. I’m sure that if the people of Djibouti signed up via infomercials for Windsor Pilates they might be in better shape today.

6. What were your favorite subjects in school?

Blackmail and secrecy and communist plots.

7. How would you compare or contrast She-Ra to Condoleezza Rice?

Condoleezza Rice hates all women except those who can help her, and if I ever see her again I will strike her in the face.

8. Who would play you in the movie of your life, and who would direct?

The only person that could have possibly played me, besides myself, was Joan Crawford. We are not actresses, but sluts. I am what I am, and like me she was just a cheap flapper who liked to get laid.



9. Tell us about your recent trip to the Vatican to discuss edible paste with the Pope.

I wear make up but I don’t need to. I can be photographed from any angle.

10. Please explain your recent obsession with Chewbacca.

I love the strong silent hairy type.

11. If you were to give birth to a two -headed baby, one with the head of Joan Collins, the other with the head of Madeline Kahn, whose head would you cut off?

The body is a sacred garment and in bed I only wear the most expensive people and outside of bed only the most expensive designer clothing so I would have to say, judging by their net worth, Madeline Kahn.

12. What do you think of diapers?

I am an artist. I think of diapers like I think of anything else: If I see it before me I’ll use it. If you don’t want me to steal it, don’t show it to me.

13. What would you like to tell your fans?

Misery is a communicable disease.

Breastfeeding Star Jones!

Read this shit! It's a press release about how a bunch of mothers are going to go outside the studio of the View and breastfeed in protest of the View! Everyone go to the View tomorrow and see the breasts!


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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE



MAD MOMMIES PLAN TO NURSE IN PLAIN "VIEW"
Lactating Women Staging A "Nurse-In" As A Response To Comments Made On ABC's "The View"



A Nurse-In is set to take place at 11AM on Monday, June 6, 2005 outside of ABC's studios at 67th Street and Columbus Avenue in New York City, where taping of the daytime talk show "The View" takes place.



Lactating mothers and their supporters from the Greater New York Metropolitan Area, including Long Island, Westchester County, New jersey and Pennsylvania will all be converging on ABC's studio to protest comments made by cast members of "The View." The breastfeeding mothers are protesting the general anti-breastfeeding attitude of the co-hosts of "The View" and comments made concerning their opinions that breastfeeding and nursing in public is "gross and disgusting" in nature. The mothers are also upset about the celebratory nature of an announcement made concerning the first bottle of formula given to the infant daughter of Elisabeth Hasselbeck, the youngest and newest cast member who also gave birth recently.



The activists will be promoting breastfeeding and emphasizing its positive benefits for both mother and child, including lower rates of breast cancer, reduced incidences of childhood obesity and asthma, as well as stronger immune systems in breastfed infants and toddlers.



The World Health Organization recommends formula only as a fourth option for feeding infants, behind breast milk, expressed breast milk and donor breast milk (from humans, not animals). Even formula companies include disclaimers in their advertising that breast milk is the best source of nutrition for infants. As well, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that "pediatricians and parents should be aware that exclusive breastfeeding is sufficient to support optimal growth and development for approximately the first 6 months of life and provides continuing protection against diarrhea and respiratory tract infection. 30, 34, 128, 178-184 breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child. The Nurse in has been coordinated completely by volunteers.



For more information about this event or topic or to schedule interviews with participants, please contact Ashley Clark by email at anniej83@hotmail.com.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Hot Slut of the Day!

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Nichelle Nichols! Hailing frequencies open!

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Mu: The New Hottest Band!

This Japanese group Mu is the weirdest shit ever! Mu is producer Maurice Fulton and his fucking insane wife Mutsumi Kanamori. She is the hottest bitch ever! They just released a song called "Paris Hilton." The song makes no fucking sense. It's just Mutsumi dancing around like a clown and acting like a chicken. Watch this shit!

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Aloha Sluts!

Dear Bitches,

I hope all you dumb whores are doing well! The weather here is amazing, although the food fucking sucks! Our trip started off shitty, because Markus got his iPod and camera stolen from his stupid ass! So it started out sucky, but now we're having a hot time. We just sit by the beach and fucking drink beer and act trashy. So I hope all of you are staying hot. Although, I haven't seen any sharks. I'm praying I get bitten by one so I can sue for fucking millions of dollars. I hope you cunts are staying hot. I'm going to go and pass out now. I'll check in again if I can, if not...you'll hear from me on Sunday!!!!

Love and Kisses,
Michael K

Hot Slut of the Day!

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Pamela Springsteen from Sleepaway Camp 2 and 3! She's fucking nuts!

Brenda from Adventures in Babysitting!

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Spike your mom's Tab with Drain-O!

Zsa Zsa!

Zsa Zsa Gabor is the hottest woman on the planet. Her birthday should be a national holiday. She's too high class for hot slut of the day! Here are the top ten reasons why Zsa Zsa Gabor should be made queen of the earth!

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1. She wrote a book called "How to catch a man, how to keep a man, how to get rid of a man" that was printed on powder blue paper. This is one of the hottest reads out there. Zsa Zsa gives great advice. For example, on page 52 she advises readers, "the best way to attract a man immediately is have a magnificent bosom and a half-size brain and let both of them show." There's also a chapter on Scandinavian men!

2. Zsa Zsa was once married to Conrad Hilton (Paris's grandfather) and almost burned down the hotel they were staying at when she tried to cook a Turkish dinner on an indoor campfire in the living room.

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3. In the 80s, Zsa Zsa released a workout video that my Grandmother had called "It's simple darling!" Basically it was Zsa Zsa in a sweat suit surrounded by buff men. She didn't do shit, just had the buff men carry her around and do the exercises for her!

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4. Speaking of her origins, Zsa Zsa claimed, "I wasn't born, I was ordered from room service."

5. In 1945, Zsa Zsa and sister Eva got into the hottest of catfights: Zsa Zsa got pissed at Eva and threatened to expose the fact that Eva was living in sin with some guy named John Perona. The two got into a big public fight, and Zsa Zsa claimed that Eva had her thrown in a sanitarium as revenge, where was forced to undergo shock treatments and get insulin injected in her thighs!

6. After her divorce from Conrad Hilton, Hilton's lawyers claimed that they had grounds to bust Zsa Zsa for "reasons that would result in her deportation as an undesirable alien."

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7. While still married to Conrad, she appeared on a dating show where she shot off such brilliant lines as "Men I can do without, but not for long" and "These? These are just my working diamonds."

8. Zsa Zsa and her rival for men Corinne Calvet once challenged each other to a duel to see who had the bigger bust!

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9. Zsa Zsa once showed up at 21 with a bandaged nose, which she claimed she got while fighting a duel (another one) with some slut. In reality, she had just had plastic surgery, but when everyone started laughing at her, she threw champagne on the bitches!

10. At the post arrest press conference for slapping the cop, Zsa Zsa demanded that she be called Princess Zsa Zsa, proclaimed herself a Hungarian freedom fighter and said that her birth date and weight on her license had been altered by Mexican vandals!

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Monday, May 30, 2005

Hot Slut of the Day!

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The Baroness from G.I. Joe! She'll kick your ass!

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Creepy Faye Dunaway

These are pictures of Faye Dunaway in the Eyes of Laura Mars. She looks crazy!


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She looks like Piper Laurie from Carrie here! Watch out or she'll come kill you or something.

Hot TV show: Models, Inc

Since I am calling the shots around here this week rather than that slut Michael K, it's time to start writing about really important things. Namely, which TV shows of yore are hot! The first in our ongoing series looks at the bastard Spelling stepchild, MODELS, INC! Models, Inc is best remembered for being a spin-off about Melrose Place, having Linda Gray, and for being a piece of shit! But still it was one of the hottest TV shows of all time.
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The hottest thing about Models, Inc was Austrailian sensation Kylie Travis. Image hosted by TinyPic.com Kylie played appropriately named Julie Dante, a scheming model who had dreams of becoming the next Kate Moss. Julie was supposed to be the bitch of the show, but she never really did anything bad except say "go to hell" a lot and spiking some girl's shampoo so her hair turned green! Still, she drove a hot car and had a romance with surfer Craig Bodi (played by three named wonder Don Michael Paul). Image hosted by TinyPic.comSoon Julie Dante found out that Craig was really romance novelist BLAINE TUDOR and was writing a book about her and her skank model housemates. This led Julie to utter the classic line "You're busted Blaine Tudor!"

Models, Inc dealt with really topical issues for the mid 90s. Over the course of its 29 episodes it tackled getting pregnant by a priest, not being able to be a spokesperson because of your porno past, models that moonlight as call girls, psycho receptionists and stalking William Katt.

Models, Inc was knowing for it's smart, sharp dialogue. For example, when put upon Monique DuBois (!) confronted her paramour Adam Louder, she summed up their irreconciliable differences with this zinger: "Your name's Louder, mine's DuBois."

Models, Inc tried to save itself by bringing on forest nymph and Dynasty star Emma Samms as evil Grayson Louder, hoping she'd have a Heather Locklear-like affect on the show. Who the fuck hires Emma Samms to boost ratings? That's like bringing Susan Anton to shore up Desperate Housewives.

Still, Models, Inc had one of the hottest series finales ever! In it, Emma Samms hires a hit man to kill Monique, but Emma's son almost gets shot so she jumps in front of the bullet. But the best is Carrie Anne Moss (remember who you were pre-Matrix, bitch!) pisses off her pimp, so she gets sent to some brothel in South America called "Hooker Hell" with no escape!

My favorite episode is "Clash of the Super Vixens." I knew when I was fourteen that this show was fucking gold so I saved the episode. Long Live Models, Inc!

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Pete Burns is insane!

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Pete Burns is the lead singer of Dead or Alive. He looks more like a fucking woman every day. Here is Pete on vacation. WTF is with his boots? He looks like Janice Dickinson!

Hot Slut of the Day!

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Maud Adams! AKA Octopussy!



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