Dlisted: 05/22/2005 - 05/29/2005

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Sayonara Sluts!

Dear Bitches,

By the time you read this, I will be on a fucking plane headed to paradise! That will be hot if it totally rains there all week and I'll be served! Anyhow, I'm going to be missing of all of you like I was Paris Hilton's pussy and you all were an STD. But my good friend Lahoma is going to entertain you bitches. I'm off to St. Maarten and will be back next fucking Sunday, the 5th. So with that being said, I have dedicated 3 of these lovely tunes to all of you to set off my vacation. Have a hot Memorial Day and a hot fucking week!

xoxoxoMichael K

P.S - That pic is of another Caribbean vacation..and don't make fun of my lack of chest! Actually, you can because I make fun of sluts everyday!

Paris Hilton "Screwed"

Emma Bunton "Crickets Sing for Annamaria"

Rupert Holmes "Escape"

Hot Slut of the Week: Leona Helmsley

I know all of you hate this bitch! But she was begging to be Dlisted's Hot Slut of the Week. And she deserves it! Why? Because she's a fucking bitch and she's taking names! She's probably like a million years old now, but she still is so hot.

The widow and heir of New York real estate tycoon Harry Helmsley (1909-1997) and one of the richest women in the United States, Leona Helmsley attracted national attention in the early 1990s when she was convicted of mail fraud and tax evasion and sentenced to 18 months in prison. Dubbed "the Queen of Mean" by the gossip sheets, Helmsley's apparent lack of contrition was summed up for most people in a quote attributed to her by a former housekeeper: "We don't pay taxes. Only the little people pay taxes." Helmsley's real estate firms own several posh hotels and prime real estate in New York City (including the lease on the Empire State Building), and Leona consistently makes the annual Forbes list of the richest Americans. In 2002 she was sued by Charles Bell, a former employee who claimed he was fired by Helmsley because he was homosexual. The jury originally awarded Bell $11.7 million, but a judge reduced the award in March 2003 to $554,000, leading observers to conclude that Helmsley's notoriously aloof manner in the courtroom turned the jury against her -- and that she still had a long way to go to escape the "Queen of Mean" label.

Thank you Leona! You are the hottest bitch in my eyes! And probably my eyes only!

Hot Slut of the Day!

Linda Georgian! (seen here with Dionne Warwick)

Friday, May 27, 2005

Birthday Sluts of the Week!

May 28th

Elisabeth Hassleback (28)
Patch Adams (60)
Gladys Knight (62)

May 29th
Scary Spice (30)
Noel Gallagher (38)
Lisa Welchel (42)
Melissa Etheridge (44)
LaToya Jackson (49)

May 30th
Idina Menzel (34)
Trey Parker (34)
Wynonna Judd (41)

May 31st
Colin Farrell (29)
Brooke Shields (40)
Tom Berenger (56)

June 1st
Alanis Morissette (31)
Heidi Klum (32)
Morgan Freeman (68)

June 2nd
Fabrizio of The Strokes (25)
Nikki Cox (27)

June 3rd
Anderson Cooper (38)

June 4th
Nikka Costa (33)
Noah Wyle (34)
Scott Wolf (37)

Get ready bitches!

While that slut Michael K is off whoring his ass on vacation, I'm going to be posting shit! Get ready sluts!

Senor Viggo

WTF is Viggo Mortensen thinking? Is he like fucking trying to get a role in Don Juan or something. Note to self: Bolero's are NOT hot!

Jessica Alba?

This doesn't even look like her fine ass!

Gay Love!!

Elton John and his fiancee David Furnish have set a date for their wedding. Mark it down sluts, December 21st. So if fairies suddenly fall from the sky and you see a poodle in a tutu cross the street, you know that today is the gayest day of them all! December 21st!


More evidence that I'm an old shit!

Disney Pictures has hired a writing team to remake 1987's Adventures in Babysitting. The original was Chris Columbus' first feature and starred Elisabeth Shue.

It was basically about a suburban high-school senior whose dull night of babysitting is interrupted by a call for help from a friend stuck downtown.

When they remake Titanic, that's when I jump out the window.


Electra is cheap!

Carmen Electra has joined the cast of Crappier by the Dozen 2. She will play Eugene Levy's new girlfriend. She joins Levy, Steve Martin, Bonnie Hunt & Hilary Duff. Shooting begins this summer in Los Angeles.


Christina Ricci to tame the black snake!

Christina Ricci
, her forehead and Samuel L. Jackson have joined Black Snake Moon.

The film centers on a white nymphomaniac who must be "cured" of her disorder by an older black bluesman.

John Singleton will produce.


Paul Bettany goes albino!

Paul Bettany
(aka Mr. Jennifer Connelly) will play albino fanatic, Silas in The Da Vinci Code. He joins Tom Hanks, Audrey Tatou, Ian McKellen, Jean Reno and Alfred Molina.


Fuck you too, Ashton!!

And you too Charlize!

My dream come true!

Elton John's book 4 Inches has been released with proceeds going to AIDS research. Damn Posh is perfection and I don't care what you sluts say!

See some other nude celebs here, like Pammy Anderson, Nicky Hilton, etc...


Glittery Wreck!

Bobby Trendy e-mailed this photo today. I think we're in love!

Twiggy stole my job!

Janice Dickinson
will be replaced by Twiggy on the 5th season of America's Next Top Model. A statement was released: "We would like to thank Janice for bringing her talents to the show and for everything she did to help us build 'America's Next Top Model' into its current success," executive producer Ken Mok said in a statement Thursday. "We wish her well in all of her future endeavors."
Also Nole Marin will not be coming back and he will be replaced by runway diva, Miss J. Alexander.

You know Tyra and Janice hated each other!


Hot Slut of the Day!

Peggy Fleming!

Birthday Sluts

Paul Bettany (34)
Andrew 3000 (30)
Jamie Oliver (30)
Joseph Fiennes (35)
Lee Meriweather (70)

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Angie speaks!

Angelina Jolie
claims that her and Brad Pitt never fucked. Angie told Marie Claire: "To be intimate with a married man, when my own father cheated on my mother, is not something I could forgive," she says. "I could not, could not look at myself in the morning if I did that."

She also said she wasn't dating anyone, but is just friends with Bradley and thinks the world of his fine ass.

Ok Angie, but I'm sure you sucked him off once or twice.


Separated at Birth!

It's in the pout darling! Y'all got some hot ones, but I thought this one was hot!

Thanks to Anonymous!

Here chicken chicken...

She's nasty! And it's totally HoHan!

Pig racing is hot shit!

And it's huge in Russia!

Julia Roberts' twins are hot!


Remember Austin Scarlett?

From Project Runway? Well, he's a woman now:

Somebody e-mail me and give me a good separated at birth for this one!

As YoMammy would say "Got-Dayum!"

Ryan Phillipe is looking really hot these days. Too bad Reese ain't giving it to him good! She's a bitch. And look at that bubble butt! Work it out Ryan!


Britney pulls a Madge!

A few years ago, Madge dumped her gorgeous chihuahuas after she was sick of their asses! And now Britney is doing the same thing. Apparently, Britney's chihuahua is fucking scary. He tries to bite people and shit. As a chihuahua owner myself, this is what you get bitch! What did you think? That chihuahuas are sweet? They aren't slut! I bought a chihuahua, because they are evil (yet hot) sluts!

Who knows what Britney did with her dog, it's probably at the bottom of the Angeles river!

P.S. - The dog in the pic isn't the one she sacked, that's Bit-Bit!


Mariah is seriously hot!

Remember I posted an article about how Mariah had some bitch keep track of her gum chewing and also deposing of her used gum when need be? Well, it seems that our dynamic Diva also has some South American bitch on her payroll whose only job is to make sure Mariah's skirts don't touch the ground while carrying a huge bag full of water.

Damn, Mariah is honestly my idol. What did I do so badly in a past life not to deserve to be her. Actually fuck that, I'd rather be Posh. That bitch does nothing all day and is 100-times skinnier!


How does Lil' Kim make money?

Lil' Kim was spotted shopping at Gucci in Miami yesterday and I just had to question how this bitch makes her money. Do people just give her loads of free shit? She's obviously not getting paid much from her music career. Someone fill me in.


Shannen Doherty sacked!

This slut just can't get a break. Shannen Doherty seemed like she was getting her 100th chance at TV success with Love, Inc for UPN.

"Shannen is a terrific actress," a UPN spokeswoman said. "We simply decided to take the show in a different creative direction." Doherty's "Love, Inc." co-star, Holly Robinson Peete, will continue on the show.

My darling Shannen, I do love your ass and you're too good for that shit. I'm going to start writing a vehicle for you. I'm thinking Brenda Walsh should come back, I really do. So Brenda Walsh comes back from Paris and decides to kill Tori Spelling. I'm thinking reality show, don't worry you won't get a stiff sentence!


I reckon this one's gonna suck!!!

Courtney & Frances

At the American Idol finale of ALL places! Courtney looks fat, but I guess that's what detoxing does to your ass!

Mariah is victorious!!!

has received her 16th Number One hit with We Belong Together. She joins The Beatles and Elvis. Congrats Mariah, now drop it like it's hot!!!


Congratulations to Carrie Underwood!!!

Our next American Idol!

Carrie Underwood "I Wanna Be Inside Your Heaven"

Hot Slut of the Day!

Wendy Williams

Birthday Sluts

Matt Stone (34)
Kylie Ireland (34)
Helena Bonham Carter (39)
Pam Grier (56)

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Jessica shows photogs she's still married!

While wearing the ugliest jeans ever!


Separated at Birth: American Idol Edition

Carrie Underwear and Kate Hudson!

Pocket hottie!

Damn, Tom Cruise usually creeps me out. But he looks hot here!

Gracias to JJ

The Year was 1987...

There was this hot fucking show called The Charmings. I remember loving this shit. Basically it was about Snow White and her Prince Charming transported through time to fucking modern day. They had to try to fit into modern-day society and shit! The opening credits were so hot! Judy Parfitt as the Evil Queen was even hotter. And they pulled a Bewitched by replacing Snow White in the second season. Damn this was hot!

Confirmed: Michelle Monaghan in MI3!

Finally! Michelle Monaghan has been confirmed as Tom Cruise's love interest in the next Mission Impossible 3. Looks like the other bitches are out of luck. However, there is another female role up for grabs! Michelle will join Tom of course and Ving Rhames with shooting to begin July in Rome.


Bai Ling's new man!

Michael K on MySpace

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