My Dearest Beyonce,

Girl, it has been a long time. But the reason for my letter is an important one. First of all, you need to stop swinging your head around like that. Girl, one day your weave is going to fly into the audience and hit some bitch in the eye. This bitch will then head over to Gloria Allred's office and sue your ass. So please, either take some krazy glue to that shit or stop swinging your head around like Courtney Love detoxing. I'd go for the latter. And the second thing we're going to discuss is your choice of wardrobe. Girl, I love my mother and all but if she designed this shit, I'd slap the bitch. You look like Shania Twain meets Shakira and both of us know those sluts look like truck-stop hookers. So sweetie cakes, take my advice and your career will last a lot longer than you think. You know I only want the best for you.

Loves you!
xoxoxoxoxo
Michael K

The Angie's out of the bag!

Those GD sluts!
Angie and Brad go public...sort of...

[pic: 666]

High class watermarks, right?

The Top 10 of 2005, So Far....For this Week...

Here is the Top 10 of 2005 so far...for this week...I didn't include films, because everything out there sucks!

Last Week's List

MUSIC:
10. New Order "Waiting for the Sirens' Call" (Last Week: 10)
9. Ivy "In the Clear" (N/A)
8. Jack Johnson "In Between Dreams"(8)
7. Mariah Carey "The Emancipation of Mimi" (7)
6. The Decemberists "Picaresque"(4)
5. Tori Amos "The Beekeeper"(5)
4. Emma Bunton "Free Me"(3)
3. Moby "Hotel"(6)
2. LCD Soundsystem "LCD SoundSystem"(2)
1. 50 Cent "The Massacre" (1)

TV:
10. Debbie Travis' Facelift (10)
9. Arrested Development (5)
8. Alias (9)
7. American Idol (8)
6. The Apprentice 3 (6)
5. Showdog Mom and Dad's (4)
4. Lost (2)
3. The Amazing Race 7 (7)
2. Desperate Housewives (3)
1. America's Next Top Model 4 (1)

Drunk Monkeys on the loose!!!!

A gang of drunken monkeys terrorized an Indian village last week after stealing booze from their houses! The monkeys became extremely aggressive after drinking the booze and caused havoc on the villagers. The villagers armed themselves with sticks and drove the monkeys back into the forest!

Damn, that shit is weird!

Radha Mitchell on "Silent Hill"

Recent Melinda & Melinda star, Radha Mitchell will star in the much anticipated big-screen version of Silent Hill. Radha will begin filming this Monday in Toronto.

Silent Hill is based on the Konami game in which Rose (Mitchell) desperately searches for her lost daughter in the mysterious, terrifying town of Silent Hill, where they are trapped.

Will Ferrell gets "Lost"

And folks another vintage TV show is getting a modern makeover thanks to Hollywood. Will Ferrell will star in a big-screen version of Land of the Lost.

The series revolved around forest ranger Rick Marshall and his children, Will and Holly, who are caught in a time vortex while rafting on the Colorado River and transported to a mysterious world populated by dinosaurs.

When will these sluts stop?!?

Hot Slut of the Day!

Cameron Richardson

Birthday Sluts

Barry Watson (31)
Jaime King (26)
Judy Davis (50)
Michael Moore (51)
Joyce DeWitt (56)
Shirley Temple (77)

My Dearest Pamela Anderson,

I'm going to keep it real with you, because we got it like that. Girl, you look straight up like Tammy Faye. This look isn't cute for you. Go home, get some steel wool from the garage and take a lil' ajax to it and then start scrubbing at your face. After about 45 minutes or so, the make-up and jizz should be off your face. Then I want you to go into your bedroom and lay in your bed and stay there for about 4 weeks. After that hopefully you will come out looking like a normal person and not like a wax figure. I love you girl and I can't wait to see you!

xoxoxoxo
Michael K

This is the hottest dress I've ever seen!

R.I.P. Janu from Survivor

Janu straight up quit! Dumb bitch, but so skinny!

The Manderlay Trailer

Lars Von Trier's follow-up to his Nicole Kidman starrer Dogville finally has a trailer. This time, Nicky is out and Bryce Dallas Howard is in!

Watch it!

Sean Penn shares blame over his marriage to Madge!

I heard Sean Penn tied Madonna up and beat her ass! Anyway, apparently he thinks both of them are to blame for their failed marriage.

"She was in the process of becoming the biggest star in
the world. I just wanted to make my films and hide. I was an angry young
man. I had a lot demons and don't really know who could've lived with me at
the time. I was just as badly behaved as her, so I can't point the finger of
blame."

That sucks, cause I liked those sluts together!

See Paris Die!

The joke is on you bitch!

Note to JLo: This is not the 60's!

Here some pics of Jennifer Lopez at a press conference for her film Monster-In-Law. Girl wants to be That Girl so bad!

The Photshop Awards: Kelly Clarkson

Gracias to JustJared for the pic!

R.I.P. Bren from The Apprentice

This slut never had a chance!

Why Hollywood is going to the dogs!

Looks and Sounds awful!

Ashley, cover it up!

The last thing you need is a nipple slip!

Dear Victoria Gotti,

Girl, there can only be one Donatella Versace in this world. And seriously who wants to look like that? She looks like a straight up dude! Now Victoria, I know you could seriously get me killed, but I like to live on the edge. I feel that since we're friends, it is best that I'm up front with you. One of your sons is gay and that's your fault, because you look like a drag queen. I mean he had such a strong gay role model in you that it turned him gay. I'm sorry to tell it like it is Victoria. I love you very much.

xoxoxoxo
Michael K

Mariah, say it ain't so girl!

Mariah Carey is looking to follow the steps of Madonna by loitering us with her own Children's books! Mariah girl, stick with what you're good at. Shrieking like a hot hyena!

She plans to publish a series of books called Automatic Princess. She said: "The way I do things, I need to be involved. I wouldn't just be like, 'Here's a concept, go run with it.'

"It's still something I really want to do, and I'm going to do, and I'm going to start getting that into production soon."

The books are based on her experiences as a mixed-race child. Girl stop playing that card!

Star Jones fired from E!

My sources tell me that Star Jones was indeed fired from award show hosting duties on E! Star replaced Joan Rivers who left for the TVGuide channel. E! wasn't happy with Star, especially because their ratings plunged as TVGuide's grew! Reports are that they are looking to replace Star with Janice Dickinson.

Johnny Knoxed Jessica

Everybody is reporting that very married, Jessica Simpson and very married, Johnny Knoxville are knoxing the boots! Aha! Both stars denied the rumors that they had an affair on the set of their flick The Dukes of Hazzard. But at Zach Braff's birthday party in Los Angeles, sources claim that something was most definitely going on between Johnny and Jessica.

Well who couldn't resist Johnny?

Corey Clark claims he banged Paula Abdul!

Former American Idol contestant Corey Clark claims he gave it good to Judge Paula Abdul! God she's a wreck! Corey claims that he and Paula had sex in the guest room of her home, she paid his expenses and she agreed to fund his music career to the tune of $2 Million dollars.

This can't be true, that slut don't have $2 Million!

She also told him to keep their shit a secret.

Clark got booted from the show after it was revealed that he faced charges of assaulting his teenage sister and clashing with police while resisting arrest.

Paula sure knows how to choose em!

Ashton Kutcher Gots Webbed Feet!

This is a real photo of Ashton's feet

Ewww!! Ashton Kutcher has confessed that he has duck feet!

He said: "I have two toes that are connected, webbed. This made headline news? Can you see it? They are just a little connected. It is good to tell everyone.
I heard this one little kid who had webbed toes and he thought he was abnormal but then he saw that I have them too and it confirmed that he is abnormal.

I thought everyone's toes were like that. You can actually cut it when you are born. People's toes are joined then grow apart, mine just didn't all the way."

Oh Ashton, you aren't a role model, you're just freaky!

Lucy Liu is a Saint!

The incredibly gorgeous (although one reader noted that one of her eyes is much bigger than the other) Lucy Liu has chosen to sponsor two African children after being horrified on a recent trip to Africa. She told Oprah Winfrey's O magazine: "I think this has been one of the most important experiences that I've ever had.

"I am in awe, because I've been working with so many wonderful people from Unicef. They're here because they want to make a difference for everyone."

Billy Cosby will drug you and then fondle yo ass!

Uh-oh! Things aren't looking good for Bill Cosby. 11 more chicks have come forward claiming that Billy drugged and assaulted them. DAMN! He could use a Jello Pudding Pop right about now!

Macaulay Culkin to testify for Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson's defense team has called Macaulay Culkin to testify in his defense. This is in response to a maid testifying she saw MJ and MC making out and groping eachother. DISGUSTING!

She told jurors, "I was cleaning up and I saw Mr. Jackson and Macaulay in the library and Mr. Jackson was kissing him on the cheek and he had his hand by his leg at the rear."

Mac was paid enough money to know when to keep his mouth shut!

Amelia Bedelia coming to the silver screen!

Remember this bitch Amelia Bedelia? I used to read these books when I was a little boy! Well Tom Hanks is fixin' to turn that shit into a live-action film.

Amelia Bedelia revolves around a housekeeper whose literal interpretations of instructions left by her employers always leads to trouble

Paris Hilton is sooooo Amelia Bedelia!

The First Look at Brandon Routh AS Superman!!

Here's a high res of it!

Hot Slut of the Day!

Jayne Kennedy!

Birthday Sluts

Jack Nicholson (68)
Sheryl Lee (38)
John Waters (59)

R.I.P. Tatiana from America's Next Top Model

Tatiana whom I never really cared for was fired last night. My girl Brittany is going all the way!

Lindsay is so Nasty!

Does she think looking 45 is like hot this year or something?

See the rest of gross Lindsay at JustJared

R.I.P. Anwar Robinson from American Idol

The only gay is gone! Go Carrie!

Britney asks Madge for Momma help!

Now that Britney is knocked up, apparently she's asking Madge for motherly advice. Since Madonna is such a good mother and all. She should've asked Madonna's nanny for advice, not that bitch!

A source said: "When Britney found out she was expecting one of the first things she did was phone Madonna."

Now a bitch to ask for advice is Posh Spice! She will tell you exactly how to get skinnier after you have the baby in about 15 hours MAX!

NAASSSTTTTYYY!!!!

This bitch with Ron Jeremy is so nasty! Not that he's a peach, but bitch if you got a gut like that, don't fucking show us!

Meryl Streep coming back to the New York stage!

It was announced that Meryl Streep will star in the revival of Mother Courage in Central Park next summer. The new revival will be adapted by Pulitzer-Prize winner Tony Kushner.

Mandy Moore, Movie Star!

Mandy Moore has been cast as the lead in Personal Shopping for Paramount Pictures.

The story was originally centered on an American man arriving in London, losing his bags, reluctantly enlisting a female personal shopper at an upscale department store and subsequently falling in love as she provides him a new wardrobe.

But with Mandy set to star, the film will be Americanized.

"ALF" Star caught in Gay Scandal!

Remember the dad from ALF?! Well that bitch has been caught in a gay, crack-smoking scandal! I love this shit!




Source: Oh No!

Whitney Houston leaves Rehab, AGAIN!?!

Whitney Houston, one of my all-time favorite crack sluts has finished her latest stint in rehab. She was in some Caribbean Rehab facility for 4 weeks. Damn that ain't rehab, that's vacation!

In a brief statement, her spokeswoman, Nancy Seltzer confirmed that her client was seeking medical treatment - but gave no further details about her condition.

Come on Nancy, we all know that bitch loves to break a light bulb and smoke the crack!

Mariah to the UK "Stop Smoking, Sluts!"

Mariah Carey has urged the UK to ban smoking in clubs and bars for fear that it will damage her gorgeous voice!

Carey says, "I'll go to a club (in Britain), but you guys smoke so friggin' much, I can't sing for ages after.

"If everyone in England stops smoking cigarettes then I'll come and party with you."

Nicky needs a rest!

Nicole Kidman has said that her demanding schedule has left her beat!

She told reporters "I needed a rest - and I didn't realise how much until after the first couple of weeks. I thought: 'I need more of this.'

"When I work, I work hard, but I can easily shift into not doing a lot... It's very easy doing nothing."

That slut's movie opens this weekend!

The Interpreter

FHM names Kelly Brook "World's Sexiest"

Didn't they already have a fucking World's Sexiest? Anyway, English Actress and Model Kelly Brook has been named the sexiest beating out Angelina Jolie and Elisha Cuthbert.



She's not that sexy..

Grace Jones is a Bad MammaJamma and the world knows it!

A couple of weeks ago I posted a story about how Grace Jones beat some guy's ass on the train! Now it seems that everytime Ms. Jones enters a train car, everyone leaves that shit! They don't wanna get the beat down!

Jones admits, "Now when I enter a carriage, it almost empties. But there's always one brave enough to stay."

Michelle Williams IS Pregnant!

The rumor I posted 3 weeks ago has come true! Michelle Williams and her boyfriend Heath Ledger are preggo! Their first bastard child is due this fall!

Kitten/Dog Lovin'!

China is so weird! A dog has adopted a kitten in China and is even allowing it to suckle on its tit! The dog, Ahuang, plays with and protects the kitten, Mimi, as well as nursing her.

At night, they sleep together and keep each other warm,

Why can't we just learn from our animal friends and learn to love eachother!

Keanu & Diane Keaton?!

Keanu must be gay! Reports are that Keanu Reeves and Diane Keaton are dating! She has become a frequent visitor to his Los Angeles home recently, they speak on the phone a lot and Diane attended the ceremony when Keanu received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Despite their 19 year age gap, they are perfectly happy says a source.

Diane, you work it out!

Kristen Chenoweth to play Dusty Springfield?

Tony Award Winner, Kristen Chenoweth is attached to play Dusty Springfield in a planned biopic of the singer.

The singer battled substance abuse and a decline in artistic fortunes that ended only when she dueted with the Pet Shop Boys for 1990's "What Have I Done to Deserve This?" She died in 1999 at age 59 after a long battle with cancer.

The film will focus on her career in the 60's.

Kristen can be seen in the upcoming Bewitched & The Pink Panther.

Kate Beckinsale & David Hasslehoff?

One of the most gorgeous women in the world, Kate Beckinsale has joined forces with David Hasslehoff to co-star with Adam Sandler in Click.

The film is about a workaholic architect who finds a universal remote that allows him to fast-forward and rewind to different parts of his life. Complications arise when the remote starts to overrule his choices.

Kate will play his love interest.

Who keeps casting Sarah Jessica?!?

Horse-faced, Sarah Jessica Parker (former face of The Gap) has been cast in Adam Shankman's black comedy Slammer. I'd like to slam her in the fucking face!

Parker plays a pushy publicist who's wrongly imprisoned on the charge she took fashion freebies meant for clients and turned them over to knockoff artists for mass production. Once in Sing Sing, she produces an inmate musical.

JESUS CHRIST!!!! Although this photo I found of her is hot shit!

Little Fact: Madonna's movie Who's That Girl? was originally called Slammer!

Tobey Maguire joins "The Good German"

Tobey Maguire who used to be hot, but is just fat now..is set to join George Clooney and Cate Blanchett in that snoozeville of a movie, The Good German. Oh and George's f*ckbuddy, Steven Soderbergh is directing that shit!

The drama follows an American journalist (Clooney) drawn into a murder mystery in post-war Berlin, where he's searching for his wartime mistress (Blanchett). Maguire will play a seemingly innocent soldier who drives the journalist around town and has motives of his own.

BORING!!!!

Benjamin Bratt & Talisa Soto knocked up again!

That hunk-of-a-man Benjamin Bratt and his dog-faced wife, Talisa Soto are expecting their second child. Their first child, Sophia, was born in December 2002 in New York City.

Remember when Benjamin was with Julia? I never understood that union!

Jenny & Ben Engaged?

Rumors are swirling that Jenny Garner and Ben Affleck are indeed engaged. Reports are that Benny presented Jenny with a huge diamond Harry Winston ring on her birthday this past weekend. Publicists for both stars are refusing to confirm or deny the reports.

Damn these Hollywood Hoes get married any chance they get!

Hot Slut of the Day!

Lee Meriwether!

Birthday Sluts

Charlie O'Connell (30)
John Cameron Mitchell (42)
Andie MacDowell (47)
Tony Danza (54)
Patti LuPone (56)
Iggy Pop (58)

Ryan Seacrest gets his Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame!

This is so disgusting!


Paula's wondering where her fucking star is!

R.I.P. Lynn & Alex from The Amazing Race

They went much further than I thought they would!
4 Teams left!

Daisy Duke

I love all that money in the air!

Jane Fonda gets served!

A man spit tobacco juice into the face of actress Jane Fonda after waiting in line to have her sign her new book, police said. The dude was a vietnam vet and felt that Janey was a traitor because of all the protests she did during the Vietnam war.

"I consider it a debt of honor," he told The Star for a story on its Web site, www.kansascity.com. "She spit in our faces for 37 years. It was absolutely worth it. There are a lot of veterans who would love to do what I did."

OH HELL NO! Somebody beat his ass!

I so need this t-shirt!

It's so ugly!

Broadway Loves Christina Applegate!

Monday night was Christina Applegate's first performance in Sweet Charity on Broadway. The show opens officially May 4th. Her co-star Denis O'Hare gave a lovely speech on how much Christina has saved the show and how Broadway loves her! It's true! Here are some pics from her night:

Scarlett & Josh Hartnett?

Scarlett whom usually fancies older men has reportedley fallen head over heels for Josh Hartnett on the set of their new movie The Black Dahlia'. A source said: "There was a real spark between Scarlett and Josh from the minute they met. Romance is definitely in the air. They have been on several dinner dates together."

Scarlett has been linked to Jared Leto, Benecio Del Toro and once said she had a crush on John Travolta! Gross!

"Good Vibrations" is a Broadway flop!

This never sounded like a good idea to me. But Broadway's Good Vibrations will close April 24th after only 94 regular performance. This is Flop-Status!

Good Vibrations follows the romantic misadventures of a group of small-town teenagers on a life-changing odyssey to the promised land: the beaches of Southern California. The tuner features music by Brian Wilson and the Beach Boys.

"Lost" & "Desperate Housewives" Gossip

So I was reading the really gross TVGuide last night. And they summed up some of the season finale's for some shows:


Lost - Michelle Rodriguez will guest on the season finale playing a woman that Jack befriends right before he boards the ill-fated flight!

Desperate Housewives - Carlos Solis will find out about his wife's affair with the gardener. Also one main-character will bite the dust!

Ewwww!!!!

So I'm at work and I make my way to the bathroom...and this bathroom is so small. I mean there's just two stalls and one sink and it's the size of your average household bathroom. So it's cramped, basically! So I go in and I'm doing my business, number one y'all, not number two. Anyhow and I hear this groaning coming from the stall next to mine. Like moaning, more like it and I hear like fast shuffling. And I realize..

This dude next to me is totally wacking off! I know this is NYC and all, but you at work! Can't a bitch wait until quittin' time?! And right before lunch. I guess I'm having goat milk for lunch!

MARIAH CONQUERS!!!!

Finally Mariah has broken her losing streak and debuted her newest album, The Emancipation of Mimi, at Number One ! First-week sales of almost 404,000 scored Carey not only the biggest debut of her 15-year career, but the coveted top spot on Billboard's albums chart — unseating rapper 50 Cent as the top seller following The Massacre's impressive six-week reign as retail champ.

This bitch deserves it!

Fergie going solo!

One of my hometown heroes, Stacey Ann Ferguson aka Fergie from The Black Eyed Peas is pulling a Gwen Stefani and going solo!

"It's going to be a deeper look into who I am – but definitely with a hip-hop base," she told us People the Paper magazine and Jaguar party at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel. "I'm so excited about it."

WHY?!!!!!??????

Mindless News of the Day

The only meal Posh Beckham can cook is a Spanish omelette.

Her secret was revealed by David who added: "She made a great one the other day. I was really impressed."

Paris comes clean about Nicole

Paris ain't calling Nicole one of her friends anymore! Paris said in a statement: "Its no big secret that Nicole and I are no longer friends. I will not go into the details of what happened. All I will say is that Nicole knows what she did and that's all I am ever going to say about it."


What the fuck did Nicole do wrong? Get skinnier? Snort more coke? Wear more expensive clothes? Get a smaller dog? I'm stumped!

Pamela Hates JLo!

Pamela Anderson is hating on Jennifer Lopez saying "People who wear fur smell like a wet dog and they look fat and gross. They look really immature and unenlightened.

"Every season the furriers put propaganda everywhere that fur is taking off again and they give free coats to idiots like Jennifer Lopez and Puff Daddy. It makes me nauseous."

Oh get off it Pamela, what about the animals that died for your breast implants! Ok, ok! Give me a break, I can't hit one out of the park everytime!

Noel Gallagher wants to look 10 years younger!

Asshole, Noel Gallagher has told video directors to make him look 10 years younger! He said: "There's only ever been one criterion, and that's to make us look ten years younger. You get that right and I'm fine."

He went on to say "I fucking loathe videos. This is not the reason why I started a band, to stand on a video stage all day and mime a song 500 times, knowing that when you get to the end of the 499th, you're thinking, 'I don't even fucking like this song anymore, it's stupid.' But it's a necessary evil for me."

God he's a sour mouth!

Jude & Sienna moving to my fair Hamlet!

Jude Law & Sienna Miller are so sick of London! They are apparently over the paparazzi constantly chasing them all over London. A source close to the couple says "Jude loathes the London party scene and can't wait to move out of the goldfish bowl environment.

"He also wants to put as much distance between his career and the paparazzi as possible. He's convinced a move makes sense from a career perspective too."

They are planning to move to New York City!

Brett Ratner and Mariah Carey?????

Please say this ain't so! Brett Ratner and Mariah Carey are reportedley dating! They were all over eachother at the Tribeca Film Festival Premiere of The Interpreter! He's a single guy again after recently splitting with tennis ace Serena Williams - and Mariah is also apparently unattached.

But, I have it on good authority that Brett likes dudes! And don't you dare say Mariah is almost like a dude! She is all woman!

Natalie Portman & Javier Bardem see "Ghosts"

Natalie Portman and Javier Bardem will team up to star in Milos Forman's Goya's Ghosts. Written by Jean-Claude Carriere and Forman, the drama is set in Spain in 1792, when Goya was the country's most famous painter. A scandal arises when his teenage muse is framed for heresy by a manipulative monk who is one of the driving forces behind the Spanish Inquisition.

Filming begins this fall in Europe.

"The Da Vinci Code" grows

Ian McKellen & Alfred Molina have joined Tom Hanks, Audrey Tatou and Jean Reno in Ron Howard's The Da Vinci Code for Sony. Ian will play Sir Teabing and Alfie will play Bishop Arigarosa. Productions begins in June for a Summer 2006 release.

I haven't read this shit, is it hot?

Cojo & Oprah to take over the world!!!

Watch out sluts!

Hot Slut of the Day!

Robin the Receptionist from The Apprentice!

Birthday Sluts

Shemar Moore (35)
Carmen Electra (33)
Crispin Glover (41)
Luther Vandross (54)
Jessica Lange (56)

Ashton Kutcher fails Mile-High Club

Ashton Kutcher tried to join the Mile-High Club recently but his plans changed when the people outside the toilet would not shut up!

He says, "I tried it once. We were both sitting there and I got up and went over to (the bathroom), and it was weird trying to get two people in there and there was like a moron convention going on around the bathroom door.

"So there was no opportune moment. It was like, 'Everyone just go to sleep on the plane!' No one would go to sleep."

So I went to see Hurlyburly last night...

I thought that shit was going to be awful. It really wasn't my cup of tea, but that bitch Parker Posey was so hot!!!!

Lil' Kim bares it!

Mr. Affleck

Ben Affleck has decided to try the teaching profession! He will teach one acting class a week this summer. He said: "The public have been great, so I'd like to pass what I've learnt onto other actors who want to enter the film industry.

"I thought it would be good to give something back."

What the fuck can he teach us about acting? What not to do?

Jamelia is Preggo!

Jamelia, who is a big star in the UK is pregnant! Not that anybody over here cares! A spokesman said: "Jamelia and Darren's first baby is due in October. She did not want to confirm things until her latest scan."

New Pope Elected!

Everybody get down tonight!

Rent My Son

I found this on JustJared. It's so fucking creepy yet so fucking hot!

Rent My Son

Posh is so fucking hot!

I don't care what you sluts say, she's hot!

[source: A Socialite's Life]

Natasha Lyonne will molest your dog!

A judge has issued a warrant for the arrest of Natasha Lyonne after she didn't appear in court for a hearing regarding charges that she rampaged her neighbor's apartment.
This past December, Natasha bang on her neighbor's door, stormed in and ripped a mirror of his wall. When police arrived, Natasha told her neighbor "I'm going to sexually molest your dog."

This bitch is cracked out!

Brad Pitt dating Mariane Pearl?

E! Online is reporting that Brad Pitt has begun dating Mariane Pearl, the widow of Daniel Pearl, the journalist who was murdered by Muslim extremists. Is this true?

Justin, Gwen & Fred

What is going on in this picture?

Mark Wahlberg yells "The Ghetto Ain't Glamour!"

Marky Mark has blasted Eminem, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck for glamming up their ghetto childhoods in their films. He said "My childhood wasn't like some 8 Mile bullshit where you go and have a rap-off. Or like West Side Story, where you all start dancing and shit. If I make a film about my upbringing it's going to be about more than a fucking kid doing math, like in Good Will Hunting, you know what I mean?"

Reese Witherspoon is pissed!!!

Reese Witherspoon almost died after a paparazzi car blocked her car in after she worked out at the gym. The car wouldn't let her out and then chased her down the street. She's thinking of pressing charges. These celebs have such a hard life!

Rob & Amba Married!

Survivor Lovebirds and current Amazing Racers, Rob and Amber married this past Saturday in the Bahamas. CBS also plans to air their wedding in May. Rob and Amber are bitch's for CBS!

Hunk Alert!

3 hot menses have joined the cast of Zodiac. Robert Downey Jr., Jake Gyllenhaal and Mark Ruffalo will topline the serial-killer thriller. Gyllenhaal will portray Graysmith, a San Francisco Chronicle cartoonist who began tracking the mystery of the serial killer. The Zodiac terrorized the San Francisco area from 1966-78, committing at least 37 murders and documenting his exploits in taunting letters sent to the Chronicle.

Based on a true story.

"Basic Instinct 2" starts filming this week

The sequel to Basic Instinct will begin filming this week in London. Charlotte Rampling has joined Sharon Stone and David Morrissey in the thriller. The flick finds Catherine Tramell (Stone) on the wrong side of the law. She meets a man who might finally be her match: The criminal psychologist (Morrissey) assigned to evaluate her by Scotland Yard.

Hmmm...Things that may you go hmmm...

Hot Slut of the Day!

Janice Pennington

Birthday Sluts

James Franco (27)
Hayden Christensen (24)
Kate Hudson (26)
Ashley Judd (37)
Suge Knight (40)
Tim Curry (59)
Dudley Moore (70)

This is a hot fucking bag!

Thanks to Rhonda..

Teri Hatcher Quote of the Day:

"I feel like I'm too old to just have sex" - Teri Hatcher, age 41

Dear Melissa Joan Hart...

Sweetie, Edgy is just not your thing. You straight up look like a crack whore. And I know you're too goody goody for that. A brownie whore, maybe, but def not crack. So just go do dinner theater or something and leave the crack whore shit to Courtney Love and Lindsay Lohan. Those are the professionals.

Love Ya,
Michael K

Chad & Sophia got hitched!

House of Wax hunk, Chad Michael Murray and One Tree Hill slut, Sophia Bush got married in Santa Monica on Saturday. I give it 6-months max! Actually longer, because they are both duller than a doorknob!

WTF!!!!??!!!

This is a real tombstone! A cell phone tombstone in Israel.

Israel has a population of approximately 6.2 million people, and as of 2002 Israel had 6.33 million mobile phones in use and only 3 million landlines. So thats more then 1 mobile phone for every person in the country. Mobiles more than double the amount of landlines in use!

Kimbertly Stewart & Paris Hilton, Our Sentiments Exactly!

Thanks to JustJared

The New Pope!!!

Black Smoke Signals No New Pope!

Again, it's a slow news day sluts!

Kangkang gets some lipo!

It's a slow news day people, cut me some slack!

China is Weird!

China has 18 Million obese people!

What the hell is Anna Nicole doing?

Tonya from the Real World is such trash!

Here's some hot pics of our favorite Real Worlder doing what she does best!

Demi & Ashton to Marry in Vegas!

Demi Moore & Ashton Kutcher are set to be married in Vegas very, very soon. They have just commissioned wedding rings by Neil Lane. A source said: "Demi and Ashton went to him for one reason, their wedding is being planned."

A source close to the couple added: "Members of their family have been told to assemble."

Chloe Sevigny is my new neighbor!

The New York Times is reporting that hot trash, Chloe Sevigny is moving down the street from my ass! She is set to move into the East Village townhouse which already occupies Parker Posey and James Iha. I can't wait to see this bitch drunk and barfing on the corner at 7am! Oh and the bitch paid $1.2 Million for it! Where did she get that kinda cash?!?

Nicole Richie Heart Gay Porn

She's holding a copy of Bel Ami magazine in her hands.

"Arrested Development" Over?

Last night was the season finale of Arrested Development over on Fox. But sources are saying that will be the last episode of the comedy. Despite winning awards and being a critics fave, the show has failed to deliver good ratings for the network. Fox execs are not commenting on the future of the show, but it has not yet been announced for renewal next season.

Watch this show sluts, it's funny!

Clay Aiken: "Don't bully me!"

Clay Aiken will guest on The Dr. Phil show and talk about his experiences with being bullied. "The first two years of high school, I was shy," Aiken told Cosmo Girl. "I got picked on for the way I was dressed. I had Coke-bottle glasses, and my hair was just atrocious."

Sometimes, the bullying was more than verbal. As he told Entertainment Weekly: "I actually started convincing myself that wedgies were compliments."

That's sad! I feel for you Clay!

Kimberly Stewart to join Paris in "The Simple Life"?

One of my Hot Sluts to Watch, Kimberly Stewart is in talks to replace Nicole Richie in Fox's The Simple Life. Reports are that Paris and Nicole are sick of eachother! I don't blame Nicole! Nicole and her fiancee DJ AM and are in talks to do a Newlyweds type show for Fox. Kimberly Stewart is ugly as shit, but a hot bitch overall! She isn't commenting!

Brit to Paparazzi: "Can I borrow 10 bucks y'all?!"

Britney and Kevin were caused in an akward position recently. They went to get some ice cream at a Florida ice cream parlor when the both sluts didn't have any money! So Brit had to ask photographers if she could borrow some cash. They agreed to get her some money if she posed for pics, which she agreed to.

Christina Applegate in Sweet Charity tonight!

Tonight Christina Applegate with debut in Sweet Charity on Broadway. She's gone through a lot to get here! First she broke her foot in Chicago and was announced to not be in the show ever and then the show was cancelled and after begging producers not to do this, the show has been re-opened with her to star. She begins previews tonight and will open the show on May 2nd. Break a leg (to go with your foot) Christina!

Jodie Foster + Spike Lee = Forever!

Jodie Foster has signed on to star in Spike Lee's newest flop, Inside Man. She joins Denzel Washington and Clive Owen. The drama pits a cop against a clever bank robber who's trying to pull off the perfect heist and finds himself in the middle of a hostage situation. Shooting begins this summer.

YAWN!

Box Office: Amityville Scares Us All!

The Amityville Horror beat out Sahara for the Number 1 spot this weekend. That shit does not look scary!

#1 - The Amityville Horror - $23.3 Mil.
#2 - Sahara - $13.1 Mil.
#3 - Fever Pitch - $8.8 Mil.
#4 - Sin City - $6.7 Mil.
#5 - Guess Who - $4.9 Mil.

Hot Slut of the Day!

Teena Marie

Birthday Sluts

Eric McCormack (42)
America Ferrera (21)
Melissa Joan Hart (29)
Maria Bello (38)
Conan O'Brien (42)
Eric Roberts (49)
Rick Moranis (51)
Hayley Mills (59)

Michael Jackson to sell his Beatles rights?

Michael Jackson is up to his wig in legal bills! So the rumors are swirling that he will sell his Beatles rights worth more than $500 Million Dollars! Goddamn! Michael also owes Bank of America over $250 Million Dollars for an outstanding loan! And Janet Jackson has already given him $150,000 just so he could pay his staff members at Neverland Ranch!

Hot Slut of the Week: Lark Voorhies aka Lisa Turtle

Lark Voorhies was born on March 25, 1974 in Nashville, Tennessee. She first began acting at the age of 2 but postponed her acting career until the age of 11, when she appeared in Small Wonder. Lark later starred as Lisa Turtle in Good Morning, Miss Bliss, the predecessor to NBC's popular teen series Saved By The Bell. She later had roles in Days Of Our Lives and In the House and starred as Jasmine Malone in The Bold and the Beautiful.



Lark has also appeared in serveral music videos such as Kenny Lattimore's Never Too Busy, Dru Hill's These Are The Times and Boys II Men's On Bended Knee. She has also appeared in commercials for Head and Shoulders shampoo and Oxy10. Lark married her husband Miguel Coleman on 9th March 1996 and continues to act and manage her production company.



Lark is a hot bitch and our Hot Slut of the Week! And a hot fact is Lark was once engaged to that crazy Martin Lawrence!

Wesley Snipes can't pay his bills!

Wesley Snipes is looking like he's broke! His mansion near Orlando, FL is headed for foreclosure after FL officials are stating that Wes owes more than $23,000 in back taxes, interest and fines. The house was due to be auctioned off this past Tuesday, but at the last minute it was put off until June.

In other Wesley news, an Indiana woman says her son Israel was fathered by Wes. A New York judge has issued a warrant for Wesley's arrest after he didn't turn up for a court-ordered DNA test. Wesley is appealing the test order.

Damn, I thought I had a bad week!

Britney continues her road to Trashdom!

Britney and her husband Kevin have purchased a $3 Million-dollar bungalow in Las Vegas' Hard Rock Hotel. Their neighbors will include Wilmer Valderrama, Danny Masterson, German supermodel Claudia Schiffer and singer Billy Idol.

Also, Kevin Federline's baby mama, Shar Jackson told Access Hollywood that Kevin is a good father. She said: "Whenever he gets the chance he sees his kids.

“He calls and checks on them all the time and, as far as I'm concerned, he's a good dad."

America's Next Top Phony

This is a funny article about this bitch in Portland trying out for UPN's America's Next Top Model. It's pretty funny.

Read it

Emmanuelle Vaugier joins "Saw 2"

The sequel to one of the worst movies of last year, Saw 2 has gotten its first cast member. Newcomer Emmanuelle Vaugier will play a leading role in the flick. Not much is known about the plot of the sequel.

Jennifer Garner added to the "Web"

Jennifer Garner has told Access Hollywood that she will join the voice-cast of the CGI-Action version of Charlotte's Web. She will join Dakota Fanning, Julia Roberts, Oprah Winfrey, John Cleese, Steve Buscemi, Cedric the Entertainer, Reba McEntire, Kathy Bates, Thomas Haden Church and Andre 3000. Oh and Happy Birthday Jenny!

Hot Slut of the Day!

Deidre Hall

Birthday Sluts: Happy Birthday Posh!!!!

Victoria Beckham (31)
Jennifer Garner (33)
Redman (35)
Liz Phair (38)