Dlisted: 04/03/2005 - 04/10/2005

Saturday, April 09, 2005

Jar of your Finest Jelly...


The Smoking Gun has a copy of Ashlee Simpson's concert rider. It's pretty standard, although she does state she's using pre-recorded music and demands a jar of "your finest jelly."

See it

Congrats to Charlie & Cammy!

Finally their love can be free for all the world to see...but why is Cammy wearing a porcupine?




Harry is so much hotter than William!


Cammy what is up with these hats?!? She like invaded a wheat field or somethin'

Hot Slut of the Day!


The Fabulous Moolah!

Birthday Sluts


Jesse McCartney (18)
Yoanna House (25)
Keisha Knight Pulliam (26)
Jenna Jameson (31)
Cynthia Nixon (39)
Dennis Quaid (51)

Friday, April 08, 2005

Oksana's back!

Everyone's favorite ice-bitch is back!

Here she is at last night's opening of On Golden Pond.

Pay up Puffy!


A NYC court has ordered Sean Combs aka Puffy aka Puff Daddy aka P-Diddy to pay up $21,000 a month in child support to an ex-girlfriend with whom he has an 11yo son with! GODDAMN! Misa Hylton-Brym (above) his ex, was suing Puffy for $389,000 in back support as well as wanting an increase of $35,000 a month. Puff currently gives her $4,000 a month.

Somebody find a way to get me preggers so I can have Puffy's baby! ASAP!

The Top 10 of 2005, So Far....

We have decided since we have so much time on our hands, to put together our Top 10 of our favorite things so far.. This will will most likely drastically change each month. There's not enough to name the best films yet, cause everything out there sucks! But here's our picks!

MUSIC:

10. New Order "Waiting for the Sirens' Call"
9. Moby "Hotel"
8. The Decemberists "Picaresque"
7. Mariah Carey "The Emancipation of Mimi"
6. Thievrey Corporation "The Cosmic Game"
5. LCD Soundsystem "LCD SoundSystem"
4. Garbage "Bleed Like Me"
3. 50 Cent "The Massacre"
2. Tori Amos "The Beekeeper"
1. Emma Bunton "Free Me" (which technically came out in the US this year)

TV:

10. American Idol
9. Debbie Travis' Facelift
8. America's Next Top Model 4
7. Project Runway
6. Alias
5. The Amazing Race 7
4. The Apprentice 3
3. Arrested Development
2. Desperate Housewives
1. Lost

Tatum O'Neal is a drunk wreck!


PageSix is reporting that Tatum O'Neal was a drunken mess last night at NYC's Pop Burger. Tatum arrived at the lounge around midnight and ordered some cosmos and then spilled one on another customer and didn't even apologize! She just walked outside to smoke. Tatum then met up with a blonde girl and started chatting her up and that's when the fun really started!

"They started fooling around and were full-on making out," a spywitness told PAGE SIX's Jared Paul Stern. "Then she started feeling the girl's boobs and rubbing her crotch. It got so graphic that the manager had to keep sending a waiter to the table to tell them to stop because they were causing a scene."

Holy Hell! Why wasn't I invited! GD you Tatum!

Jennifer Anthony


Don't call her JLo! Jennifer Lopez is ready to ditch her name and take on her husband's name both personally and professionals. Jennifer Anthony sounds like a fat, suburban housewife if you ask me.

A source said: "Marc never liked the whole J-Lo thing. He thought it wasn't very classy."

"Do Something" is a hit for Britney without being released!


Britney's single Do Something hasn't even been released by her label, but it has debuted at 100 on the Billboard US charts and has peaked at 6 on the UK charts.

American radio stations began playing the track - one of two new songs included on last year's Greatest Hits: My Prerogative set - after being swamped by requests from fans.

If you haven't heard the song, it sucks!

In Touch Magazine Names Best Male Chests!

Ghetto magazine, In Touch has named the hottest male chests. I'm not sure if I agree!

#1 - Matthew McConaughey


#2 - Josh Duhamel


George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Usher rounded out the poll.

Elton John on a budget!


Elton John has been told by his production company to stop spending so much! His company has an overdraft of nearly $60 Million dollars! 2004 records show that he spends nearly $60,000 a month just on flowers! Damn bitch go into your garden and pick some!

He also spends $10,000 a month on his fucking dogs! Damn my dog is lucky to get a fucking bath!

He said: "I have a flair for writing songs but I don't have a flair for business.

"I don't have any people to leave money to. I am a single man. I like to spend money."

Damn bitch, spend some money on me!

R.I.P. Angie from The Apprentice


Damn! I thought this bitch was going far!

Clooney & Cate, Together at last!


George Clooney and recent Oscar winner Cate Blanchett have teamed up for a WWII romantic thriller called The Good German. Cooney (what my mom calls him) will play a Yankee journalist who sent to cover some shit in Germany. Instead he uses the time to investigate a mysterious murder of love and lost.

UGH!

A Garfield Sequel?!?


In absolutely awful news, Fox is looking to create a sequel for that disaster that was Garfield. Damn, I guess Jennifer Love Hewitt had to do some begging. Garfield 2 is set to destroy theaters on July 28th 2006.

Hot Slut of the Day!


ANN B. DAVIS!!!

Birthday Sluts


Vivienne Westwood (64)
Patricia Arquette (37)
Robin Wright Penn (39)

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Hot Slut of the Month: BAI LING!!!


We are pleased to announce that the hot mess known as Bai Ling has been crowned March's Hot Slut of the Month. She beat out the likes of Lisa Lisa, The Kano Sisters, Pamela Sue Martin and Nicole Jackson.

Bai is everything we would want out of a hot slut. She's a wreck and she is skinny as shit!



She joins past Hot Slut of the Month's Dorian Lord and Leslie Easterbrook.

See you at the finals Bai!

Hilary Swank has a fancy bunny cage


from justjared

Nicky Hilton's Wig


PinkisthenewBlog has pics of Nicky Hilton wearing a hideous brown wig (I hope it's a wig) for FHM. She will never be Paris! NEVER!

A Quote from Group Hug..

This quote is disgusting, but really hot!

R.I.P. Lluvy from America's Next Top Model


Goodbye to the janitor from Modesto,CA! We will miss your chihuahua-like face!

Lluvy's page on the ANTM4 Website

Tiffany from America's Next Top Model: Quote of the Day


"I just looked at the make-up, because you don't gots to talk to it and it don't talk back to you" - Tiffany

Tiffany's Page on the ANTM4 Website


"Amazing Race" Winners leaked?

A national betting website Sportsbook has halted all betting on the current season of Amazing Race due to an irregular betting pattern on one couple. During a 12-hour period there was a huge jump in maximum bets on one particular couple.

"Sportsbook.com is no longer taking bets on The Amazing Race. In fairness to our customers we will honor all wagers that have already been placed on this event," said Alex Czajkowski, Marketing Director, Sportsbook.com.

SPOILER: Click here only if you wish to see who the winning couple might be!

Chloe Sevigny is NASTY!


via: gofugyourself

But she loves my dog!

IDIOTS!


A couple of days ago I reported that sluts were waiting in line for the premiere of next month's Star Wars, Episode III. Those sluts are waiting at Mann's Chinese theater, but the problem is..that shit isn't premiering there! It's due to premiere at the ArcLight Cinema a mile away. Those sluts are dumb! Still, they won't move because they think it's a rumor! "We've heard all this before," fan Sarah Sprague said, noting there were plenty of rumors in 1999 and 2002 that previous "Star Wars" movies weren't opening at the Chinese Theater. The rumors were false and the films were shown there.

Modern Oompa Loompa's

Tim Burton has re-imagined the look of the oompa loompa for the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory remake.



I'm not so sure about this one.

Rolling Stone's Top 500 Songs of ALL-TIME

See list

Why aren't the Spice Girls on this fucking list?

Madonna can't speak to her own kids!


Madonna and hubby Guy Ritchie are having trouble understanding their own kids! Why? Because Lourdes and Rocco speak in French all the time! They pretty much don't speak English at all at home. The two have been attending the prestigious Lycee Francais School in London where they are learning French. John Ritchie (Guy's dad) is quoted in The Sun as saying: "Rocco is certainly picking up a lot of French.

"He speaks it all the time at home because Lourdes is fluent. They talk to each other in French all day, chatting away non-stop.

"It's very funny. Neither Guy or Madonna speak a word of the language so they cannot understand anything."

Wouldn't you think Madonna would learn? What a bitch!

Britney is an unfit mother!


Britney Spears has been barred from looking after her 8-month-old stepson Kaleb. Kevin Federline's baby momma, Shar Jackson told Star Magazine "As a mom, I won't put my baby in the hands of somebody who can't handle it. Britney has no experience with babies, and Kevin's a great dad, but his only experience is with Kori, and he had my help the whole time."

Oh but I'm sure you'll let her pay some of your bills, Shar!

Dueling Capote's


There are two Truman Capote biopics currently scheduled to premiere at next month's Cannes Film Festival. The first one entitled Capote stars Phillip Seymour Hoffman as Truman and Catherine Keener as Harper Lee. This one already wrapped production and will also be seen at The Tribeca Film Festival.

The second one has a much more starrier cast and is currently entitled Every Word Is True. Toby Jones stars as Capote and the rest of the cast includes Sandra Bullock, Hope Davis, Gwyneth Paltrow, Isabella Rossellini & Sigourney Weaver. This one is set to end production April 30th in Texas.

Why does everything come in pairs?

Daniel Craig denis Bond ties


I reported yesterday that Daniel Craig was pretty much signed for a 3-picture deal to play the next Agent 007, beating out Clive Owen. Although today, he has denied it. A spokeswoman told The Sun that he wasn't in talks, but she couldn't discuss further either.

People, people let's just cast Vicky Beckham and get it over with!

Jessica Simpson is Daisy Duke


This looks like soft porn!

UPDATE - Click here for more pics and a play by play on the Trailer.

The Duff Sisters go Material


Hilary Duff is kinda cute, in a not-so-cute kind of way and her older sister Haylie is just straight up not-cute. Well the two sisters hope to be the next Olsens and will star in Material Girls, a comedy directed by Martha Coolidge to be shot this month in Los Angeles. The flick follows a pair of celebutante cosmetics heiresses who lose their fortune in a corporate scandal and launch an investigation to expose the culprit.

The song was inspired by Madonna's famous song.

Boy this is going to tank!

Hot Slut of the Day!


Audrey Landers

Birthday Sluts


Russell Crowe (41)
Andrew Beevans (25)
Jackie Chan (51)
Francis Ford Coppola (66)

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Hasselbeck has baby girl!


The View co-host and Survivor alumn, Elizabeth Hasselbeck gave birth to a baby girl today!

Congrats!

Michael Jackson's shower partner Revealed!


Yesterday in the whole Michael Jackson on trial thing, a maid testified to witnessing our favorite gloved-one taking a shower with a young boy. The maid claims that the boy was Wade Robson. Wade Robson is a choreographer who has worked with everyone from Britney to Justin. He was even part of a whole love-triangle involving Brit and Justin. This all happened when Wade was just 8 or 9 years old.

The maid said "First I thought they were playing in the bathtub or the Jacuzzi ... and I walked in, I peek in, and they were in the shower," she said. She saw their underwear on the floor outside the shower and immediately left without saying anything. Jackson's defense team quizzed her about how she could have seen anything if the shower door were steamed up, and she said she was sure she saw "Mr. Jackson and the little kid."

This made me almost vomit! It's so sad :(

Are they talking about Posh?

I read another hot Popbitch article about a surgical procedure new moms can go through to come out of the hospital looking hot as hell. First off, the celebrity mother gets her silicone breast implants removed early in her pregnancy to prevent stretching, then when the baby is born (usually whipped out by caesarean at eight months to prevent the mother having to
get too fat) new implants are put back, liposuction is done on the arse and thighs plus a full tummy tuck to get rid of all signs of pregnancy. The new mother keeps hidden from the public for about ten days while everything heals - which, of course, is not suspicious, as she's just given birth.

Many private hospitals around the world now offer this as part of the birth package.
Nursing staff at London's celebrity-friendly Portland Hospital have an unofficial name for the package which honours, they claim, one of its earliest adopters.

They call it the "Mend it like Beckham"

This can't be true!

The Donkey Punch?


Has anyone heard of this. Popbitch described what's called the "donkey punch." When going at it for a while the bottom of the "bottom" can get too relaxed, so the "top" can lose enjoyment.

To orgasm, the man on top punches his partner really hard in the kidneys... so that he
involuntarily clenches with the shock and pain...and the guy on top gets his rocks off.

Note to anybody out there I might have/having sex with. If you do this to me, I will punch you in the Goddamned teeth!

Johnnie Cochran's Funeral was a C-List affair!

Johnnie Cochran's funeral was held today and the stars were out! All our favorites arrived! Star Jones and her gay husband, O.J. Simpson and MJ! They even sold T-shirts!


O.J.'s looking puffy!


Michael Jackson accidentally glued his hands shut!


Star Jones with Patti Labelle! Did she get those sunglasses in Williamsburg?


He hates her so much!


Somebody buy me this T!

Heidi and Seal to make it legal!


Heidi Klum and Seal have announced that they will marry before the birth of their child. Heidi is currently 5-months knocked up with the singer's baby. "We will marry before the birth of our child," he told a German newspaper.

Bunnies are Hot Shit!

Brook Shields heads to "Chicago" via London


Brook Shields is becoming quite the musical theater star and racking up some creds. Our favorite Calvin Klein jeans girl has been in everything from Cabaret to Grease to Wonderful Town on Broadway. And now she's about to spread a little sunshine to London. She will play Roxie for 9 weeks in the London production of Chicago beginning April 26th.

I've personally never seen her perform. Can this bitch sing?

Models are Nazis

Models are hot sluts, but they have it so easy. It's really not fair. What did they do in a past life to basically be born rich. If you're born beautiful, you basically are going to be rich or you're stupid. Nowadays you don't have to have any talent, just a hot body and a face for money.

That being said, last night was some book party for some stupid book Sexy Volume 3: A Tribute to a Decade of Sexy Swimwear. Don't run out and get that shit. Here's the pics of those skinny bitches chatting about Penta and Cream Cheese!



"Gisele that top is so fucking disgusting. Forever 21 must've had a sale." - Heidi Klum
"Heidi, looks like you've been eating too much of your own candies!" - Gisele



"Holding this book makes me look so smart!" - Gisele



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