Dlisted: 02/06/2005 - 02/13/2005

Saturday, February 12, 2005

Hot Slut of the Day!


Heidi Fleiss!!

Birthday Sluts



Kristina K (?)
Christina Ricci (25)
Chynna Phillips (37)
Ed Lover (42)
Joanna Kerns (52)

Friday, February 11, 2005

This is a hot game!

Play it!

Dr. Jennifer has Resurfaced!!!!



OMG!!! A source has sent me this picture of Dr. Jennifer! I have still not heard from her, but apparently I was wrong about my predictions. Dr. J did not run off to Saudi Arabia with that sheik! Apparently, she was in Russia! Why was she in Russia you ask? Well, she fucking bought a baby! Yes, this is what my sources tell me. I have been trying to call her to confirm this, but I guess she doesn't have a tri-band cell phone cause I keep getting her voicemail. Oh Dr. Jennifer please let this not be true! If it is, this baby's life is in danger!!!!

ARTHUR MILLER IS DEAD!!!!

Paris Hilton as Barbara Eden on "American Dreams"


Gag me!

Gossip Here...Gossip There...

Linday Lohan is in the fucking hospital again suffering chest pains! This bitch is only 18-year's old! She should be able to work 23 hours a day and fucking tend to the family chores! She's a fucking wuss! - IMDB

Ewww Usher is a fucking slut! Model, Joanna Bond tells Page Six that she fucking went to Usher's London hotel room and found an orgy going on! Usher, two other men and three women were going at it! That shit is really hot, but so gross! - Page Six

Hot Slut of the Day!


Lassie is fucking gorgeous!

Birthday Sluts



Matthew Lawrence (25)
Kelly Rowland (24)
Brandy (26)
D'Angelo (31)
Jennifer Aniston (36)
Sheryl Crow (43)
Burt Reynolds (69)
Tina Louise (71)
Eva Gabor (86)

Thursday, February 10, 2005

BLASPHEMY!



Cojo has been fired from The Today Show!!!

Where in the world is Dr. Jennifer?

Many of you have been wondering where is my weekly tale of Dr. Jennifer? Well, since my last post she has been missing! I have called the hospitals, police stations, brothels and Amsterdam. She is nowhere to be found! One friend told me that she had been sold to a rich sheik and is now living in Saudia Arabia. Somebody please tell me where in the world is Dr. Jennifer!?!?

Debbie Gibson

Stream the new Ivy!

Click it!

I love them!

Never Refuse Sex from Amanda Monti!

A British woman was sentenced to two years in prison after she fucking ripped off her lovers balls with her bare hands during a drunken argument! Amanda Monti, 24 blew a fucking lid after her ex-boyfriend refused to have sex with her! She grabbed him by the nuts and tore off his left ball! This bitch is fucked up. She then proceeded to hide it in her mouth! The bitch pleaded guilty. She is a fucked up bitch!

Carmen Elektra: The Worst Tipper in the World!

This is a funny website:

Read It!

Elektra once tipped one cent! That shit is hot!

Tainment Bytes!

The Aviator team of Martin Scorcese, Leonardo DiCaprio and John Logan are in early talks to remake Akira Kurosawa's 1948 classic Drunken Angel for Warner Bros. DiCaprio is currently signed up for it and Logan is working on the script. Scorcese is eyeing this project for the future. - The Hollywood Reporter

My Top 10 Slut to watch, Aishwarya Rai has been cast opposite Dylan McDermott in The Mistress of Spices for director Paul Mayeda Berges. It's based on a novel about an Indian woman who runs a San Francisco spice shop and reluctantly falls in love with an American man. - Variety

Beyonce, Josh Groban and The Counting Crows have been named as performers for the Oscars. Beyonce and Groban will sing a tune from The Polar Express. Counting Crows will perform a song from Shrek 2. Beyonce will go solo to sing a song from the French film The Chorus. - Oscar.com

Gross Hook-Ups!

Apparently Lindsay HOhan and Johnny Knoxville have hooked up in New Orleans. This really disgusts me..

And apparently Kelly Osbourne has a new boyfriend and its none other than Robbie Williams. This is just not possible and I refuse to believe this!

Gossip Here...Gossip There...

Filming has apparently halted on the Russell Crowe/Nicole Kidman flick Eucalyptus, so that Ms. Kidman can quickly sneak-off for a breast job. This will be her third according to sources. Ms. Kidman believes that small changes are the classy way to build up your chest. - popbitch

It seems that Britney Spears 5-month old wedding may be on the rocks. According to various American magazines, Mr. Federline has been out and about several times without Brit and without his wedding band on. - In Touch

At a recent ESPN Super Bowl party, Nick Lachey was seen giving his phone number to another woman after hitting on her friend! He apparently hit on Jo Piazza. Oh well! - New York Daily News

Prince Charles has announced today that he will marry Camilla Bowles. But she's a fucking dog-face! - Sydney Morning Herald

Hot Slut of the Day!


Cherie Johnson is super hot!

Birthday Sluts



George Stephanopoulos (44)
Elizabeth Banks (30)
Laura Dern (38)
Alexander Payne (44)
Robert Wagner (75)

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

TV RATINGS: Football's a bore!



#1 - Super Bowl, FOX
#2 - Super Bowl Post Game, FOX
#3 - American Idol (Tuesday), FOX
#4 - CSI, CBS
#5 - American Idol (Wednesday), FOX
#6 - The Simpsons, FOX
#7 - Without a Trace, CBS
#8 - Happys Days 39th Reunion, ABC
#9 - E.R., NBC
#10 - Everybody Loves Raymond, CBS

The similarities of Mena and Myself:


"Hi Mena, how are you" "I'm good, Michael I L-O-V-E you!"

My idol Mena Suvari and I have endless similarities. I think we were separated at birth. Here is a breakdown of our mind-boggling likenesses:

Mena..............................Michael
Age: 26...........................Age: 25 (soon to be 26)
Hometown: Newport,RI..........Hometown: Newport, RI (eww NOT)
Hair Color: Who knows.............Hair Color: Who Cares
Height: 5'4''.....................Height: 5'4'' + 10"
Mother: is a nurse................Mother: Bosses nurses around
Ethnicity: Greek..................Ethnicity: Geek

Ya see, her and I are practically the same person! I love you Mena and one day we will be together!


Mena is a powerful woman!

The New Amazing Racers

Click It!

WHAT THE HELL KINDA DAMNED BULLSHIT IS THIS?!?

Read It!


Oh Mena! You are such a clown!

Actually kinda funny...

Click it!


Mena, your beauty is undeniable!

Gossip Here...Gossip There...

And the denying begins! Desperate Housewives star Marcia Cross has denied her dykeness via her publicist. She also denied plans that she will grace the cover of the fag rag The Advocate. - ET

Simple Life star Nicole Ritchie is engaged to her DJ boyfriend. No date has been announced. - Associated Press

Tainment Bytes!

Andrea Martin and Debra Monk have been added to The Producers film. Both chicks will play old ladies in the flick. They join Mathew Broderick, Nathan Lane and Uma Thurman. - Playbill

Sarah Jessica Parker has signed a deal with Coty to develop a stinky perfume. The brand name and fragrance are still in development, but Parker has said it will be "fresh." God, that shit's gonna be disgusting! - Associated Press

Bruce Willis has told the British press that Die Hard 4 is currently in the works and hopes to start shooting this fall. Die Hard what? - BBC

Hot Slut of the Day!


Mena Suvari: The Most Beautiful Woman in the World!

Birthday Sluts: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MENA!! I LOVE YOU!



Mena Suvari (26)
Zhang Ziyi (26)
Amber Valletta (32)
Judith Light (57)
Mia Farrow (60)
Joe Pesci (62)
Carole King (63)

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

TV NEWS!

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!
source: E!

Desperate Housewives - We've all been wondering who the fag on the show is. Apparently it is none of other than Bree van de Kamp's teenage son. No word yet on how we will discover that he likes dick. Marc Cherry has also said that he is planning a spin-off in the near future.

Lost - One of the main 14 characters will fucking meet their maker in the next few episodes. Apparently, not even the cast members knows which one of them will get the axe!

North Shore - Apparently it's done! Kristin at E! has said that this show is definitely not coming back. Amanda Ringhetti who plays Tessa on the show has just joined a pilot for Fox called "Reunion."

The O.C. - A spin-off is being planned for Marissa's little sister, Kaitlin. She will be making an apperance this season in plans to launch her own series. Also a character will come to Newport to expose a sex-tape he made with Julie!

Tainment Bytes!

Kal Penn has been cast in Bryan Singer's Superman. Penn is best known as Kumar in Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle. Penn will play Superman's best friend. He joins Brandon Routh, Kevin Spacey & Kate Bosworth. - coming soon

Pedro Almodovar's next film will be called Volver and will star Penelope Cruz. The two will be reunited! He described Volver as a generational story about three women in Madrid. He promises it will be funnier than his past films. - Screen Daily

Kristin Davis has signed on to star in ABC's one-hour pilot of Soccer Moms. This shit sounds like a turkey! Kristin Davis will play one of two suburban housewives who team up as private investigators. JESUS! - The Hollywood Reporter

A NOTE TO ROBERT ALTMAN: LINDSAY LOHAN CANNOT ACT!



Entertainment Tonight reports that Herbie: Fully Loaded star Lindsay Lohan has been cast in director Robert Altman's A Prairie Home Companion. Lohan would play Meryl Streep's daughter in the film based on Garrison Keillor's recordings.

Altman said previously that George Clooney may star as detective Guy Noir, but that was never confirmed. "We have Meryl Streep and Lily Tomlin playing the two sisters of the Johnson sextet," he said. "We have Lyle Lovett and Tom Waits." ET added that Lovett and Waits are playing singers in the movie.

A Prairie Home Companion is expected to begin filming in April. Keillor wrote the screenplay and has also joined the cast. - COMING SOON.NET

America's Next Top Model 4!!!

Look at these sluts!

I have my eye on "Naima" and doesn't "Noelle" look like that blind bitch Amanda from last season? Brita is really hot too, I like her water system.

Gossip Here...Gossip There...

Shannen Doherty's re-romance with her ex Rick Soloman looks to be over. Doherty showed up at the Marquee with Eugene Rem, the manager of some club. They were making out all night. God she's a slut! - Page Six

Apparently Drew Barrymore wrote her hottie boyfriend Fabrizio Moretti a goodbye letter. Yes, it looks like they are fucking through! Good, that Fabrizio can finally get a hot girlfriend! - Page Six

Cammy Diaz is fed up with Justin Timberlake's mom. Justin's mom doesn't like the idea of Cammy and Timberlake tying the knot. Actually, Justin's mom said "Hell No" to the idea. Cammy is telling that bitch to mind her own fucking business! - Mail on Sunday

Britney has her fucking nerve! She's suing 8, count em, 8 insurance companies for $9.8 million for rejecting a claim she filed after injuring her knee during a video shoot last summer. She had to cancel her tour because of this "injury." Brit, we all fucking saw you! We saw the fucking pictures! Don't front, bitch! - Associated Press

Hot Slut of the Day!


It's Pia Zadora! She's one of the hottest sluts to ever live!

Birthday Sluts



Seth Green (31)
Vince Neil (44)
John Grisham (50)
Mary Steenburgen (52)
Nick Nolte (64)
Jack Lemmon (80)

Monday, February 07, 2005

Chloe Heart Cock

For those of you who have not seen Chloe Sevigny giving Vince Gallo a hummer, follow this link!

Watch that slut!

The Houston Update



Remember a few days ago when I posted a fucking article about that R&B singer Houston? The one who gouged his eye out? Well Houston apparently is saying the reason he committed this fucked up act was because he's fucking possessed by the devil! His publicist denied that Houston tried to jump out of his London hotel window. The statement also said Houston had “found himself in the midst of a spiritual battle against the evil that runs rampant in the entertainment industry.” His bodyguard went on to say “Houston was lying on his bed with a towel over his face and I removed the towel to find his eye hanging out. He said he had to get the devil off of his back and that’s the only way he could kill the devil.” This story get more fucked up as the days go by!

Fatal Attraction the Play?



This sounds like a nightmare that I must witness! Corey Feldman will star in an adaptation of the Michael Douglas/Glenn Close film Fatal Attraction. Currently titled Fatal Attraction: A Greek Tragedy, it will play somewhere Off-Broadway at a theater tba. This shit will be fucked up. If they cast Joyce De Witt in the Glenn Close role, I'm so there!

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!


From Myself and Bai Ling!

*update - It seems I'm a little early with my Chinese celebrations. But Bai and I like to party hard and get the party started early! HOLLA!

GROSS!

David Blaine was on Carson Daly and fucking did the grossest magic trick! Watch this shit!

Click this shit!

Gossip Here...Gossip There...

At a recent cover shoot for a men's magazine, Songbird Mariah Carey apparently requested 56 different beverages from Vanilla Coke to Cristal. That bitch is thirsty! Who fucking cares, she's a huge star! I'd fucking request every fucking beverage imaginable! - Gatecrasher

Design sluts Chip + Pepper are giving out T-shirts at Fashion Week that say "Naomi Campbell hit me and I liked it." Sluts, get me one of these! - EL-K

Britney Spears hopes to add yet another piece of shit property to her harem. Brits is eyeing a Donald Trump development in Rachos Palos Verdes, California. Spears is interested in a $5.2 million villa. Bitch save your money while it lasts! - IMDB

Tainment Bytes!

I pray to the Gods above that this is true! Lena Olin has hinted to the Swedish press that she may return to ABC's Alias where she played the hot mom to Jennifer Garner's, Sydney. - Alias Media

It will be Marisa Tomei NOT Renee Zellweger in Neil Labute's This Is How It Goes at Off-Brodway's Public Theater. She will join Ben Stiller and Jeffrey Wright in the interracial comedy. - Playbill

Ralph Fiennes or Ralph Fine as I like to call him will play the lead role in Disgrace, an adaptation of J.M. Coetzee's South African novel about a divorced Cape Town professor who gets caught up in some kind of mess. Sounds thrilling. - Variety

Hot Slut of the Day!


Fredrique! The fucking hottest Victoria's Secret Model! She looks like a tranny!

Birthday Sluts



Ashton Kutcher (27)

Tina Majorino (20)
Chris Rock (40)
Eddie Izzard (43)
Garth Brooks (43)
James Spader (45)
Emo Philips (49)

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Boo Ya!



Boogeyman reigned supreme at this weekend's box office! Debra didn't do so well though :(

#1 - Boogeyman - $19.5 Million
#2 - The Wedding Date - $11.0 Million
#3 - Are We there Yet? - $10.4 Million
#4 - Hide and Seek - $8.9 Million
#5 - Million Dollar Baby - $8.7 Million

Hot Slut of the Day!


KATHERINE HELMOND!!!!

Birthday Sluts



Rick Astley (39)
Kathy Najimy (48)
Robert Townsend (48)
Natalie Cole (55)
Tom Brokaw (65)
Rip Torn (74)
Mamie Van Doren (74)
Zsa Zsa Gabor (88)



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