Zsa Zsa!

Zsa Zsa Gabor is the hottest woman on the planet. Her birthday should be a national holiday. She's too high class for hot slut of the day! Here are the top ten reasons why Zsa Zsa Gabor should be made queen of the earth!



1. She wrote a book called "How to catch a man, how to keep a man, how to get rid of a man" that was printed on powder blue paper. This is one of the hottest reads out there. Zsa Zsa gives great advice. For example, on page 52 she advises readers, "the best way to attract a man immediately is have a magnificent bosom and a half-size brain and let both of them show." There's also a chapter on Scandinavian men!

2. Zsa Zsa was once married to Conrad Hilton (Paris's grandfather) and almost burned down the hotel they were staying at when she tried to cook a Turkish dinner on an indoor campfire in the living room.


3. In the 80s, Zsa Zsa released a workout video that my Grandmother had called "It's simple darling!" Basically it was Zsa Zsa in a sweat suit surrounded by buff men. She didn't do shit, just had the buff men carry her around and do the exercises for her!



4. Speaking of her origins, Zsa Zsa claimed, "I wasn't born, I was ordered from room service."

5. In 1945, Zsa Zsa and sister Eva got into the hottest of catfights: Zsa Zsa got pissed at Eva and threatened to expose the fact that Eva was living in sin with some guy named John Perona. The two got into a big public fight, and Zsa Zsa claimed that Eva had her thrown in a sanitarium as revenge, where was forced to undergo shock treatments and get insulin injected in her thighs!

6. After her divorce from Conrad Hilton, Hilton's lawyers claimed that they had grounds to bust Zsa Zsa for "reasons that would result in her deportation as an undesirable alien."



7. While still married to Conrad, she appeared on a dating show where she shot off such brilliant lines as "Men I can do without, but not for long" and "These? These are just my working diamonds."

8. Zsa Zsa and her rival for men Corinne Calvet once challenged each other to a duel to see who had the bigger bust!


9. Zsa Zsa once showed up at 21 with a bandaged nose, which she claimed she got while fighting a duel (another one) with some slut. In reality, she had just had plastic surgery, but when everyone started laughing at her, she threw champagne on the bitches!

10. At the post arrest press conference for slapping the cop, Zsa Zsa demanded that she be called Princess Zsa Zsa, proclaimed herself a Hungarian freedom fighter and said that her birth date and weight on her license had been altered by Mexican vandals!