Dlisted: The D-List's Reality Bitches!

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

The D-List's Reality Bitches!

We at The D-List absolutely adore reality TV. The first time we saw the faces of Heather B and Eric Nies on the Real World back in the day, we were addicted. But then came Survivor which changed the world completely. So, we would consider ourselves major reality show junkies. We've seen the good (Survivor, Amazing Race, Apprentice), the bad (The Benefactor, Cold Turkey, The Bachelorette) and the just plain ugly (Joe Millionaire, The Swan).

We have decided to vomit up our favorite bitches on our favorite reality shows. These are the sluts that we aspire to be, that we love to hate and sometimes we basically just want to see lose it. We believe we have "an eye" for talent, so please take these following individuals very seriously. These are the stars of four days ago and the ones that you will forget 10 minutes after the Season Finale!

Donna from WB's "The Starlet"



Vivica Fox said it best when she said "This bitch can't act her way out of a box!" Which is funny coming out of someone who was in Juwanna Mann. But Ms. Fox is right, Donna cannot act, but she's fucking gorgeous. She kinda is a cross between RuPaul and Tevin Campbell. Faye Dunnaway isn't so sure about this one, but me thinks its because she's jealous! Faye wishes she could count on her looks to get her through life! Donna is a true D-Lister and we're proud of every terrible line that comes out of her oh-so-perfect mouth!

Mikalah Gordon from Fox's "American Idol"


This bitch is only 17, but she acts like a 65yo woman. She is basically Barbara Streisand. She honestly is. She talks, walks and laughs like that bitch. Mikalah is by no means the best singer, but she has that something. Most singers these days have no talent and no personality. But Mikalah is different in the fact that she has no talent, but lots of personality. We especially like how during her songs she manages to give a "shout out" to her fellow judges. Some people find her annoying, but she is our light. Mikalah Gordon is a star in our stone-cold hearts.

Angie from CBS's "Survivor"



Angie reminds us of that girl in High School. You know the bitch. The one that loved Morrissey and Edgar Allen Poe. Since I was an outcast like her that girl was my best friend. So now since she's among the buffed and ordinary on Survivor, we are rooting for her. Angie if you are listening please don't let anyone get you down! Don't let them kick you around! In the words of our icon Morrissey "There's a place in the sun, For anyone who has the will to chase one And I think I've found mine, Yes, I do believe I have found mine"

Tiffany from UPN's "America's Next Top Model"


This bitch is a true hoodrat, pigeon, whatever you'd like to call her. Any girl who's favorite restaurant is Popeye's Chicken is a fucking friend of mine! This bitch was made famous last season when at a bar some jealous white slut threw her beer on Tiffany's weave. Tiffany went ghetto on her ass and who fucking blames her? Tiffany looks more like she belongs on the cover of a car magazine in a bikini, but we won't let that get to us. Tiffany is a survivor and we just hope that if a photographer or stylist pisses her off she will make sure to give him the beat down, hootie hoo!

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