Dlisted: MY TOP 10 SLUTS TO WATCH IN 2005!

Monday, January 24, 2005

MY TOP 10 SLUTS TO WATCH IN 2005!

#10
Eva Green
"This bitch ain't the prettiest on the block, but she's gonna be this year's Diana 'call me Dee-Ann' Krueger. She played that hairy twat slut in 'The Dreamers' last year and this year will be seen opposite Orlando Bloom in 'Kingdom of Heaven.' Certainly not my favorite girl, but I don't pick em - they pick me!"

#9
Kimberly Stewart
"This ho is the daughter of Rod Stewart and WILL be the next Paris Hilton. She's dumb, skinny, rich and can't sing worth shit. She's releasing an album this year and trust me this one's gonna be something to laugh at! Holla!"


#8
Idina Menzel
"Already a Broadway star, this one's gonna hit the big screen big time in 2005. She'll first be seen opposite Salma & Colin in 'Ask the Dust.' Later in the year she'll show up in the eagerly awaited screen version of 'Rent.' Yeah she's old, but she's got some talent and ain't that bad lookin"

#7
Natassia Malthe
"She's set to become the next queen of B-Movie Cinema. She's starting 2005 out by kicking Jenny Garner's ass in 'Elektra' as Typhoid Mary. She follows that up with Rob Zombie's most likely terrible 'The Devil's Highway.' Maybe she will crawl out of the B-Movie grave with her next role in the highy anticipated 'Dead or Alive.' And this bitch is fucking half-Asian!"


#6
Kristine K
"Duh, cause she's my fucking sister!"

#5
Eva Longoria
"So I had to choose a fucking desperate housewife for my list. And well most of those sluts are too old for this shit. Now what creeps me out about Eva is her hair. It just kinda lays there like a towel. It's very strange and I don't understand it. So...technically the end of 2004 was her time but if she's smart she can stretch this shit out for at least 6 more months! She's already lined up a film role opposite Christian Bale in 2006. I'm not sure how much faith I have in her, but someone's gotta be on the cover of FHM."

#4
Melissa George
"Most of you know this bitch as the evil Lauren on 'Alias.' But 2005 has big plans for Georgie. She's already headed to the remake of 'Amytiville Horror.' Later in the year she'll star as Clive Owen's wife in 'Derailed.' Let's hope this Aussie slut gives Nicki Kidman a run for her money!'

#3
Michelle Monaghan
"Nobody's even heard of this girl! She has model looks and comes from Iowa! She was on that trash show 'Boston Public' for a bit and had a small role in 'The Bourne Supremacy' this year. But next year..she's everywhere! Her first is starring with Keanu Reeves & Rachel Weisz in 'Constantine.' She's gonna follow that up with a role opposite Angie Joles & Brad Pitt in 'Mr and Mrs. Smith.' And if all that wasn't good enough she'll end the year opposite George Clooney in 'Syrania.' This ones my wild card and she won't let me down!"

#2
Aishwarya Rai
"She is Bollywood's biggest female star and is slowly making the transition to Hollywood. She was seen in 2004's 'Bride & Prejudice' and has a few other projects in the works. Along with her Bollywood films she has Roland Joffe's 'Singularity' with Brendan Fraser and 'Chaos' with Meryl Streep as her upcoming American films. Julia Robert's called her 'the most beautiful woman in the world.'This bitch is hot and she has morals! She's never even had an on-screen kiss. Well in Hollywood you gotta show your tits & twat, sweetheart!"

#
Sienna Miller
"This bitch is going to be famous the Gwynnie Paltrow way! By banging a leading man and her leading man happens to be Judes himself. She's kinda trashy, but also kinda hot in a Charlize kind of way. In 2005 she'll star opposite Heath Ledger in 'Casanova' and plays Andy Warhol's Edie Sedgwick in 'Factory Girl.' Bitch if you want an Oscar you better gain 20 lbs and play a heroin addict! This one's gonna be a star!

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