MY TOP 10 FILMS OF 2004!
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy - Adam McKay, dir.
"Ok so this ain't the most intellectual film of the year, but it had two things going for it. Christina and Applegate. It's about time this bitch gets some fucking respect for what she can do on the silver screen! Also, it was kinda dumb but in a good way. What Dodgeball lacked, Anchorman filled!"
Dawn of the Dead - Zack Snyder, dir.
"I know you're thinking..'what kind of godamned list is this?' But I never claimed to be some Siskel & Ebert. This shit was probably the best American horror film of 2004. It was between this shit and 'The Grudge.' But this had more jumpy moments and looked more expensive, which always works for me."
Super Size Me - Morgan Spurlock, dir.
"This shit was just gross. I think it was a pretty weak year for documentaries. And well, when I watch a documentary I want to see something that I can relate to. Not that I can relate to being a cow, but I can relate to the delicious goodness of Mickey D's. So this shit was good and even though it's pretty disgusting, it's worth seeing."
Sideways - Alexander Payne, dir.
"Ok, ok...this shit has brainwashed me. When I first saw this shit, I thought 'Ok, this shit is fine.' But now with all these awards and accolades and what not, this shit has me liking this crap. It's a small little film about wine, gross. Anyway, Sandra Oh is hilarious and Ginnie Madsen is good at squinting her eyes and acting all deep and shit."
Finding Neverland - Marc Forster, dir.
"Yes even my cold, cold heart melted a bit for this tear-jerker! That little boy was so fucking cute! Depp is a little silly and Winslet is basically Rose from Titanic, but still a good one! Oh and someone please tell Radha that she ain't no Samantha Morton!"
We Don't Live Here Anymore - John Curran, dir.
"Because I love adultery and I love Ruffalo! He looks extra hot! Naomi Watts gives us another 'I'm an edgy suburban housewife' performance. And we should all applaud the return (and hopefully exit) of Miss Laura Dern!"
Bad Education - Pedro Almodovar, dir.
"With Twists and turns as well as hot shots, this was a good one. Paulito hasn't been so good lately, but I like this shit! Even though somehow a midget was cast in the lead, this shit was good. Garcia is hot in a mini-me kinda of way, well if you're into that shit!"
Mean Girls - Mark S. Waters, dirc.
"The making of a fucking star! Lohan proved to have a huge rack and a raspy voice in this funny and bitchy cinematic experience! But my fucking applause goes to the lovely and dumb Lacey Chabert. Claudia Salinger is surely grown up now! "
Million Dollar Baby - Clint Eastwood, dir.
"Brandon Teena did good in this tearjerker! I normally don't care for Clint Eastwood, but this flick had me rooting for the underdog. The dark shadows and the hard lines made me feel sad, but also kind of hopeful. Enough of that sentimental shit, Brandon Teena deserves Oscar number 2!"
Closer - Mike Nichols, dir.
"Again, Adultery is my favorite subject and Nat looks so hot in this shit. Finally she grows up and gets with the program. I would've liked to see her show the full monty though. Clives was pretty hot. Jules was bland as usual and Judes needs to get over himself. But I cried and also yearned for more! BRAVA!